by
O2BIrish
It’s
the week before Christmas, the office mood stinks.
There’s
rumors about that the firm has been jinxed.
An
event has occurred causing tempers to burn.
It
all started when JIM THE BOSS made his return.
Some
six months ago certain things had transpired
That
resulted in JIM being speedily fired.
A
few asked his manager why he was gone.
But
the rest said, “Who cares? We can now party on!”
They
met in his office, now empty and bare,
And
ate and imbibed, all with nary a care.
As
the group carried on, JIM was standing outside
With
his bottom still red from his trebuchet ride.
JIM
knew he would have to go find a new job.
But
just how to get one would make his head throb.
He
called the recruiters, each one turned him down.
It
appeared there’s a network that spanned the whole town.
They
heard of how JIM treated those he had led.
Every
one told of how they would rather be dead.
So
who’d work with JIM and ignored the town’s ban?
‘Twas
a guy working out of the back of his van.
“Jim,
baby,” the guy said with eyes all a-gleam,
“I’ll
find you a job that you’ll say is a dream.
There’s
recruiters at firms both quite near and quite far.
They’ll
be happy to find out the catch that you are.”
He
called up those firms with the acronym names
And
told of JIM’s assets – the ones that he claims.
“You
mean THE JIM THE BOSS?!? There’s no way!!!” they all cried.
The
guy kept this up ‘til his cell phone had died.
JIM
got so concerned when this calling was through.
As
he left, said the guy, “Don’t call me. I’ll call you.”
So
JIM waited and waited and waited some more.
After
months, he thought waiting was really a chore.
Then
one day the phone rang! Hey, could this be the guy?
‘Twas
his old boss! He wanted JIM back again!!! Why?
Did
his miss JIM’s unique micromanaging style?
His
casual Friday thong? Sinister smile?
On
Monday, JIM back to his office returned
To
the place his departure he thought was unearned.
He
walked to the site of his old boss’s suite
And
the strangest of sights he proceeded to meet.
There
he saw his old boss who had bid him adieu.
But
his face – his whole body’s a bright shade of blue.
With
JIM’s firing, the plan had a really big flaw.
It
appears that JIM’s boss was his brother-in-law.
When
JIM’s sister had heard what her husband had done,
She’d
reject his affections, his moves, every one!
She
would make him go sleep on the sofa each night
While
she slept in the bedroom with doors locked so tight.
She
kept this act going for evenings on end.
He
would plead and he’d plead, but she just wouldn’t bend.
Certain
parts of his body began to turn blue
So
he begged of his wife, “Tell me, what I can do?!?”
“You
must hire him back on, bring him back to your fold,
Or
that sofa you sleep on is going to get old.”
So
he asked JIM to come back. A saint he portrayed,
While
what he had wanted was just to get laid.
So
now JIM was back, his career’s not in flux,
And
morale at the company? Well, now it sucks.
I’d
say it’s JIM’s sister we all have to thank,
Because
what would it be without JIM in the Tank?
So
as twenty-nineteen is drawn to a swift close,
Let’s
hope twenty-twenty is not one that blows.
To
Mewe and Reddit and Facebooking Fish,
A
prosperous New Year’s my poetic wish.
O2BIrish
12/17/19