Day in the Tank
the week before Christmas in Framingham, Mass.
web server’s humming. We know it’s first class.
one that’s so dear to us, highest of rank
the one that is set up for hosting the Tank.
story that Sharky has put on the site
received his approval. He thinks it’s alright.
reads the submissions. He does every day.
as he reviews them, they all hear him say:
really like this one… ‘twill get lots of yuks.”
one’s just okay. “ “Man!This one really sucks!”
rewrote the story to give it his touch,
the names, the employers, and such.
emailed Ken Gagne, that vigilant sentry.
is this day’s amazing new entry.”
said, “It’s so good that it will not be shelved.
will schedule it so it appears at 8:12.”
post time’s a pattern. He’s got it down pat
every Tuesday. (Dude, what’s up with that?)
so it appears, just so shiny and clean.
usually see it about 8:19.
just as it shows up, my brain goes in motion.
put up my rhyme, once I get the right notion.
then, all those posters! There’s some hard to handle
which other blogs sure cannot hold a candle.
comments? I’m sure that they’ll all be on-topic.”
thinking? That thinking’s myopic!
really gets posted, much to their chagrin is
gamut from Modifakes, YouTube to Guinness.
posts really early. He’s quite an amigo.
one time, Jean Claude was his fake alter-ego.
Arch Demon comes in. And his main claim to fame
he really likes strippers and typing his name.
JIM THE BOSS. We know his spelling’s all wrong.
Casual Fridays, he’s wearing a thong.
F L U F, who of late’s been a foreigner
when he saw Baby get stuck in a corner.
Hatter likes robots and androids so sleek.
already read this poem sometime next week.
Moanique and Babmbi who work at the Lido.
job is to sate the Arch Demon’s libido.
Shorty Girl. We know she hasn’t much heft.
likes watching cars that will only turn left.
posters, you might not enjoy as a neighbor
senator Bluto, alumnus from Faber.
Unkk is a guy who won’t know what to do
the shuttle gets grounded. He writes great haiku.
Anonymous Limricist’s really complex.
calls inept users an Oedipus Rex.
one with a handle that some call quite weighty -
root of the cosine of one hundred eighty.
got Stanley Kubrick. We’ve got textechgeek
leaving their insights in nerdy tech-speak.
Avenger, the Tank’s superhero,
Digital Willie and zero slash zero.
got Captain Obvious. There’s landsend3
Jim but not THE Jim, Dan Clamage and e.
magek and Fatman and Bogey and Stryker
Meadhbh (She is Irish! I like her!)
mad bad bear box. This guy works when it’s scary
binab his buddy, and like LateNightLarry.
Wichitan, EMK, Arch Boss and Vroomed,
Wrench in the Works, and there’s more, it’s assumed.
don’t have the one type we know is the worst:
that idiot poster who has to type “FIRST!”
all post their comments, some strange and some gory.
few of them even relate to the story.
lots of non-posters. They’re really just lurking.
like us: Tank surfing is better than working!
know there are some who this poem has missed.
don’t get the feeling that you have been dissed.
me, I tried to, I have to admit.
meter your handle has just will not fit.
as for this poet, it’s been quite a year
writing in forms once used by Edward Lear.
won Ebert’s contest. The vict’ry was sweet.
Carpenter voted for me, said a Tweet)
after, still hot from by first lim’rick coup,
was featured for poems in our town’s “Joke’s on You.”
front page! A feature! I’m really not lyin’!
even got more space than Conan O’Brien.
put out a “Best of Tank” doc.
four poems included of mine. What a shock!
I won, after three other tries
contest by those with the Ig Nobel prize.
would not have won them. It’s really quite clear
I hadn’t been posting rhymes here for two years.
I have a greeting for all on this site:
”Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"