February 2020

February 3, 2020 - Memory-Lane Monday: PEBKAC — but VERY close to the keyboard


When the bracelet’s magnetic attraction
Caused an unwanted laptop reaction,
“Lose the jewelry,” we said,
“That’s what makes it go dead.”
Now it's working to our satisfaction.

February 4, 2020 - Printer not found

Why have all of our print jobs been blocked?
"All the cabling's messed up!" I squawked.
If the network inspired
How electrical's wired,
I am sure lots of us would be shocked.

February 5, 2020 - Wayback Wednesday: Still not done


The new network I put in so well.
“Here’s your user list. Check every cell.”
“Use a spreadsheet? Not when
We’ve got whiteout and pen!”
Here’s a firm that’s refused to Excel.

February 7, 2020 - Flashback Friday: If only he had known it was impossible


“It’s now working!” I told my boss, beamin’.
But a neighbor said, “You must be dreamin’!”
He believed I had tripped
‘Til he saw that my script
That pulled demons from daemons was screamin’.

February 10, 2020 - Memory-Lane Monday: Maybe if he knew the name of the file, he wouldn’t have deleted it


“It’s deleted!” the user remarked.
So recovering it, I embarked.
“I will try to appease ya.”
Since he’s got amnesia
For names like a Griswold named Clark.

February 11, 2020 - Always ask the obvious first

Helping users - my efforts are tireless.
I helped one who had made an entire mess.
There's a cable required
Since his printer is wired
Though he's treating is like it is wireless.

February 12, 2020 - Wayback Wednesday: Details, details


In supporting my users, I’m tireless.
For peripherals, most will require less
Than a USB hub.
But, my friend, here’s the rub.
As of yet, they don’t make one that’s wireless.

February 14, 2020 - Flashback Friday: Hero for a day


I keep getting an engineer’s mail
All because of one simple detail.
We both share a last name.
So on what is the blame?
In a sort, my first name will prevail.

So one day, I received a nice note
Thanking all for removing the bloat
From a process so major.
But I sure would wager
It’s thanks to me were quite remote.

I replied to them all but the sender
Telling them of my work with great splendor.
“I worked many a night
So the process was right!”
But in fact I was just a pretender.

When the manager saw this, he said
“Yes, this guy should be earning more bread!”
I then said to my super
That I was a duper.
I thought that I soon would be dead.

Yes, I thought that’s the end of my days
At the firm for receiving false praise.
He replied “You daft bloke!
We all know it’s a joke!”
“I’m not fired? Can I still get that raise?”

February 17, 2020 - Memory-Lane Monday: Maybe someone should have asked


My whole business is earning its keep
From construction guys leaving a heap.
As they cleaned up their trash
They could cause quite a crash
In the space of a single fell sweep.

February 18, 2020 - Shifty

Fix this glitch - it's my ultimate goal.
Did her text wind up in a black hole?
Things would be much more nifty
If she became shifty
And let things get out of control.

February 19, 2020 - Wayback Wednesday: So much for that executive-suite mystique


In the office of corp’rate elite
I attempted repairs so discreet.
As I worked with aplomb,
She then shrieked to her mom,
“Holy Cow! I’ve got talented feet!”

February 21, 2020 - Flashback Friday: They’re due someone’s undying gratitude


On this job, we all worked with great stealth.
“Yeah, we’re bringing your PC to health!”
It took three of our staff
To reverse out the gaffe
The pres made, listing everyone’s wealth.

February 24, 2020 - Memory-Lane Monday: Why isn’t everyone looking happy to hear that?


“The app’s broke! We're in such disarray!”
“Make it trusted!” “It won’t work that way!”
There’s a meeting to see
What to do for "Plan B,"
But the fix wound up being "Plan A."

February 25, 2020 - Top secret

There's some users we think are the worst.
There are others whose name has been cursed.
If when doing your job
You said, "Thingamabob"
She'd have closed up the floppy door first.

February 26, 2020 - Wayback Wednesday: The joy of do-it-yourself IT


There’s no email? That’s the sub’s plight
When the DNS record’s not right.
Now their web site's off line.
Hey! Could this be a sign?
Was this Tank ‘bout Computerworld’s site?

Must be CW's site was hosed that day too...

February 28, 2020 - Flashback Friday: Snow job


He believes that the job’s incomplete?
Hey! My clients, I never would cheat!
He’s snowed in? What the heck!
I should hire a tech.
What’s the number for Picabo Street?