October 2019

October 1, 2019 - Time-Machine Tuesday: Decaffeinated

We were viewed as a fix-it authority
From our technical superiority,
It appears they would think
From the java we drink,
Keeping coffee pots up's our priority.

October 2, 2019 - But what do you do with all your spare time?

Kachunk, pause, kachunk, pause. That sound!
There's a simple solution I found.
How I solved this small stumper?
Just put in a jumper,
At least when Big Blue's not around...

October 3, 2019 - Throwback Thursday: Everybody gets an F

Throwback Thursday Limerick (9/28/09)

In describing a known phishing scam,
I had sent an example of spam.
I believed it was prudent,
But some clueless students
Sent passwords who fell for the sham.

But these students I will not malign,
Since their qualifications do shine.
There are times there are some
You could really call dumb.
As Bill Engvall would say, “Here’s your sign…”

October 4, 2019 - What ever happened with that float, anyway?

After ending my school's sophomore year,
Build a float or write code? It was clear.
It was too much to ask
Of that float building task
With that Commodore 64 near.

October 7, 2019 - Out of memory

She's so mad at her box, she could heave it.
"Where'd that icon go? I can't believe it!
That report was right here!
Why'd the thing disappear?"
We both wondered why Windows won't leave it.

October 8, 2019 - Dialing for dollars

The store's message could not be sussincter.
"This d&$&^ phone will not work! It's a stinker!
Since one looked like it drowned,
Just send someone to town
To get phones from the town's Golden Sphincter.

October 9, 2019 - Wayback Wednesday: Twice as nice

This one manager would not adapt,
So his drives were not properly mapped.
Though his password and ID
Were entered so tidy,
His enter key got doubly rapped.

October 10, 2019 - Throwback Thursday: Planning a long career here?

Throwback Thursday Limerick (10/6/09)

It’s a call from a user just hired:
“Some assistance with email’s required.”
Archive’s set up, it’s true,
But the notes still accrue.
They’ll be gone by the time she’s retired.

October 11, 2019 - A network? No! It’s just sharing, over wires.

Their slow printing? Their senior guy's blaming
Their old tech, whose solution he's flaming.
He's afraid about hacking.
With junior guy's backing
One's put in by creative naming.

October 15, 2019 - Master of disguise

Said that prospect at 1:43,
"That first jerk was as dumb as can be!"
In my mind, my thoughts went,
"What had worked for Clark Kent,
Now appears to be working for me!"

(Celebrating my 11th anniversary of Shark Tank poetry...)

October 16, 2019 - Analysis paralysis

"We need stats from our ads! We decreed it!"
This directive our group quickly heeded.
But then, Marketing's bored
Of the data we stored.
Now we just need somebody to read it...

October 17, 2019 - Throwback Thursday: Hardware isn’t his thing

Throwback Thursday Limerick (10/8/09)

He’s a coder: the firm’s top selection.
A help ticket caused further reflection.
He won’t pull out the strip?
It just makes the guy flip.
Can’t he follow a simple direction?

October 18, 2019 - Flashback Friday: Give them a headache and they might be generous

Flashback Friday Limerick (10/9/09)

Some may think that our task was so dumb,
Searching out such a minuscule sum.
We all sweated and slaved
When the money we saved
Could be used for a new stick of gum.


I also recalled writing this for this story:

New system installed.
Payrolls run in parallel.
Results are cents less.


October 21, 2019 - But I’m still me

Since the techs that she contacted varied.
The entire department felt harried.
She can't log in! How strange!
It's like something had changed,
Like her name on the day she got married.

October 22, 2019 - Time-Machine Tuesday: Keepsakes

Time-Machine Tuesday Limerick (10/15/09)

My old boss, the most rigid of men,
Hated laptops and favored the pen.
He’s so into details,
He filed his nails
In folders he labeled with “N.”

October 23, 2019 - Singed

While installing a new CPU,
Fire shot from the box. What'd I do?
The one thing I ignored?
An electrical cord!
As I left, I would think, "Glad that's through!"

While installing a new CPU,
Fire shot from the box. What'd I do?
The one thing I ignored?
An electrical cord!
As I left, I would think, "Déjà vu!"

Why did I do this? CW put the story in the blog entry twice.

October 24, 2019 - Throwback Thursday: Now who’s in a jam?

Throwback Thursday Limerick (10/22/09)

It’s the best joke I’ve pulled off by far.
“You need printer jam. Go buy a jar.”
You can bet, in their fleet,
That a black and white beetle’s
The business’s company car.

October 28, 2019 - Memory-Lane Monday: Please tell me his name wasn’t Jones

Memory-Lane Monday Limerick (10/27/09)

Password update requests come a-floodin’,
So I thought of this all-of-a-sudden:
Would I be better heard
When I gave them their word
If I spoke to them like Allen Ludden?

October 29, 2019 - Oops!

"There's an issue I'd like to discuss"
Oh, so loudly that manager'd fuss!
There's an adage - it's true:
Lack of planning by you
Does not mean it's a crisis for us."

October 30, 2019 - Brother's keeper

Yelled the ten, "That darned server has crashed!!!
What we're working on now has been trashed!!!"
It's 'cause one guy's not able
To network by cable.
We think that his face should be bashed.

October 31, 2019 - Throwback Thursday: Pics, or it didn’t happen

Throwback Thursday Limerick (11/3/09)

A new user received his new box.
A week later, he knocked off my socks.
“Please don’t play with the switch,”
I had said in my pitch,
“There’s less risk of electrical shocks.”

Though they only go in at one angle,
All his PS/2 plugs got quite mangled.
“These darned plugs won’t go in!
So I’ll try them again!”
Some don't work well with stuff that’s new-fangled.