Memory-Lane Monday Limerick (9/1/09)
One can see that it took quite a while
For the trainee to go through the pile.
He checked every one then
With a permanent pen
Wrote its contents upon it with style.
But two days just to sort DVD’s?
That’s a span at which one can not sneeze.
If they’re labeled when used,
Then you won’t get confused,
And your trainees, from boredom it frees.
Said his boss, "'Bout your job you should care.
In the A.M., P.M. Don't you err!"
On Day three, he got snippy!
"Go fix Mississippi!"
You mean there's computers down there?
There's a smell - where's it from? Let's inquire.
A tech's help with the drives we desire.
You can move lots of folks
Even when someone jokes
With a shout, "HEY! THERE'S SOMETHING ON FIRE!"
Throwback Thursday Limerick (8/26/09)
In an FTP upgrading push,
This one leader’s a pain in the tush.
Every time, he’ll condemn
All except 1 AM.
One could say that his attitude’s bush.
I’m addressing his scheduling rift:
“I need reps to test. Follow my drift?”
He replied to me, “Wait…
How ‘bout Sunday at eight?
It’s sure better than working third shift.”
Did his brain get a serious fart?
Being cautious I call somewhat smart.
Yes, he must be excused
For him being confused -
Windows shuts down by clicking on "Start."
Why'd I finish my lunch in such haste?
There's a user whose tapes he won't waste.
Like procedures elective,
Cut out what's defective?
You mean make a quick cut and paste?
On that tape he should really just bail.
A new tape I am sure will not fail.
Then he will not be stuck
Like that Myrtle Beach truck.
Now my poem is as long as the tale!!!
Why's the cord for the hub out of sight?
"Is this it?" "Well, by golly, it might!"
While it might meet a goal
When it fits in a hole,
There is no guarantee that it's right.
THROWBACK THURSDAY LIMERICK (8/27/09)
When we turned on the card-reader locks,
The employees were treated to shocks.
All the doors that they used
Came back "Access Refused"
Since the setup, their entry it blocks.
The employees all wanted my throat.
"I just did what was put on this note!"
The vice-president flipped.
"This is not in my script!"
So I wound up becoming the goat.
It is problems like this I abhor.
When I'm stuck 'cause the VP's a boor.
Would his conscience be jarred
If I programmed his card
To be blocked at each card reading door?
FLASHBACK FRIDAY LIMERICK (8/28/09)
Though high standards we try to embody,
We’ve a tech whose work can be quite shoddy.
Make a registry edit?
Oh, no? She will dread it.
Did she get the job with her ... uh...résumé?
'Cause his server's not acting the same,
He expects me to take all the blame?
Since the password's not right,
Do you think that it might
Be that he's got the wrong user name?
"I am dead." He just sat there transfixed.
His suggestion so quickly I nixed.
"I am willing to bet
If you're hitting the net
Then your hard drive is already fixed."
WAYBACK WEDNESDAY LIMERICK (8/31/09)
“Fix my box” was the user’s demand.
When his spyware had grown out of hand.
Some old docs did depart.
“Can you tell me what part
Of ‘they’re gone’ you can not understand?”
TODAY'S THROWBACK THURSDAY LIMERICK (9/2/09)
Ahoy! Way back, disco was king
They had moved th' shop to a new wing.
Wit' electronic locks
Where all access she blocks
If ye don't 'ave that card on a ring.
I was called fer a system revive.
But was locked out when I did arrive.
"Kill th' locks!" I implore,
"Or I walk out that door!"
Now th' mainframe be "Stayin' Alive."
O2BAPirate
On those N1's, our shop's so reliant.
How'd they show us when they'd act defiant?
When the printer would stop
Its case opened its top.
Seems those printers weren't Java compliant...
Memory-Lane Monday Limerick (9/3/09)
This one manager put me through hell
For instructions he did not heed well.
Though assistance I'd lend,
His calls just wouldn't end
Like that stupid ad run here by Dell.
CW - thanks for finally making the ad not come up
every ^%^&%^& time I reloaded the page!
(Must have been a rough day in the Tank ten years
ago!!!)
'Round the office I gained notariety
When I faced printer feeder anxiety.
I am now aware why
They wear smocks but no tie.
I should switch to the clip-on variety...
Throwback Thursday Limerick (9/21/09)
Yes, the company’s policy’s clear.
“There’s no chain mail forwarding here.”
When I called to remind
One, who to it was blind,
“He’s so rude!” she told HR, I fear.
Then she did it again on a whim.
Then said HR, “It’s looking quite grim.”
“Twasn’t I who was rude!
It was her with the ‘tude!”
The next action’s best handled by JIM.
This one fish - boy, he sure had it made!
He'd clean boxes sometimes just for trade.
One bar owner would choose
To make payment in booze,
'Cause he liked to watch studs getting laid.