Network's dragging! Of that, we are sick!
Did some sniffing, and that did the trick!
How'd the problem get canned?
Internet has been banned!
No more "JIM'S Motivational Flicks!"
Here's my thoughts for a training device:
It's for plugging in printers and mice.
The instructional goal:
Fit the cord in the hole.
Like that block box that's by Fisher-Price.
When his GPS turned into vapor,
He got lost! 'Twas a comical caper!
The guy said, "What the crap
Is a hard copy map?"
It's a GPS printed on paper..
This is the third story run as a throwback story in the Tank from the last week of July, 2009. I remember when these stories ran, I was on vacation, and looking back at them when I got back to my writer's garret, I really didn't like them that week. Looks like ten years later, I get to write about them anyway...
While at Berkeley, a tech I would know
Gave a saw to me. I would think, "Whoa!
With that saw, I could take
Out the jams, and then make
Keypunch hammers messed up like a pro!"
'Twas an acronym for all to see.
Post those letters today,
And you quickly might say,
"My career in IT? RIP..."
In a typeset one might call enlarged,
"This new scanner! It must be disbarred!!!"
But a boss that's offsite
Proved the scanner was right,
And pronounced the site "Guilty as Charged!"
At the end of our IT filled weeks,
It's a respite from work the group seeks.
A suit's stuck? He should call
That one store at the mall
That is staffed with a number of geeks.
While I'm checking my corporate mail,
Our Exchange dies at one - WHAT THE HAIL?!?
Our so sharp MSP
Sent an email to me,
But no phone call or text was sent? FAIL!!!
We were bought by a large company.
"We need pictures," they soon asked of me.
T'wasn't like they explained,
It was like being trained
For a job at the state DMV.
Wayback Wednesday Limerick (8/11/09)
“While my NYC techie’s away,
Can a fulltime temp come in?” I say.
“To keep budgeting tidy,
On every third Friday
He could work an eight hour day.”
Throwback Thursday Limerick (8/7/09)
All the sysadmins’ stomachs are churning
“The old fire suppression we’re spurning.
All the water, they say,
Will get carried away
By a roof over what could be burning."
They tried many a time to prevail on
All the managers. And yet they rail on.
Though they tried on and on,
The old system’s still gone.
So the sysadmins said, “Go to halon.”
By a printer, she got in the way.
Her red hair became caught on that day.
With my help she was freed.
How did I do the deed?
It was done in a gingerly way.
Memory-Lane Monday Limerick (8/14/09)
When we ran every Friday report,
I could see that they needed support.
So I asked with persistence,
I got no resistance
And now the job run time is short.
“It’s a miracle!” so my boss blurts.
Here’s your bonus!” I hope HR hurts!
Thirty years have gone by,
And today, it’s no lie
That in two weeks the fish won two shirts.
Lots of managers did not acknowledge
A name someone might think of in college.
It might get quite a fright
From the Wiki he'd write:
It's called "Found Under Commonplace Knowledge."