July 2019

July 1, 2019 - Northern exposure

Server's crashing! Our talents are tapped.
What's the cause? We may have to adapt.
'Twas a static concern!
Watch some guy - we would learn
With a touch, it would quickly get zapped.

July 2, 2019 - Ready when you are

New consultants? My mind quickly numbs.
Start them now? You will get only bums!
My advice, they won't heed,
'Cause they need what they need.
And they'll pay them for twiddling their thumbs.

July 3, 2019 - Unclear on the concept

"It's the monitor?" How the fish frowned!
"This guy's logic is surely not sound.
The screen won't slow the net.
I am willing to bet
That this user is management-bound."

July 4, 2019 - Throwback Thursday: Spoilsport

Throwback Thursday Limerick (7/10/09)

The security pilot fish fumed
When the auditor said they were doomed.
When reviewing an audit,
Instead of a plaudit
He spoke of the problems that loomed.

The director spewed smoke from his ears
When the fish squashed the auditor’s fears.
“Don’t you give me no jive!
I will let you know I’ve
Done your job for some fifteen plus years!”

July 5, 2019 - Flashback Friday: But was it vibrating?

Flashback Friday Limerick (7/9/09)

On the campus tour I was a part,
The guide saw stuff that gave him a start.
T'was a prof, big and fat.
On a disk drive he sat.
We just hope that the guy didn't fart.

July 8, 2019 - Snip-snip

On this Monday, I'm going off script.
Some might say, "Today, O2B's flipped!"
I am sorry to say
There'll be no rhyme today.
'Cause I want to tell why I got clipped.

Hey, guys? Guys? Where are you going? It's the only time I actually had a use for a bag of frozen peas...

July 9, 2019 - Not even remotely right

Time-Machine Tuesday Limerick (7/20/09)

In a town where the heat is so cruel,
Your own Frigidaire is quite a tool.
When a PC gets froze,
In the fridge the thing goes,
It’s unfrozen by making it cool.

July 10, 2019 - Not even remotely right

On-line meetings today get the hype.
Found an HDMI cord then, "YIPE!
The remote site can't see
What those gathered here see."
"Say hello to my little friend, Skype!"


July 11, 2019 - Throwback Thursday: Harkly worth mentioning

Throwback Thursday Limerick (7/23/09)

Said the client, “I think it’s too weird.
At 9:30 the share’s disappeared.
It’s a nuisance infernal.”
Could building a kernel
Repair it? Into it, I peered.

Then I called up the other location
And related the sharing frustration.
“We reboot it, you know,
At 9:30 or so,”
She replied. ‘Twas a huge revelation!

For a year or so I was dismayed,
But at last a solution was made.
It can be such a grind,
But I really don’t mind
Just as long as I always get paid.

July 12, 2019 - Thumper

The computer's down, but it's not grim.
There's a fix some might think of as dim.
Just a thump - that would do
Since it had a loose screw.
Could we all try the same thing with JIM?

July 15, 2019 - Memory-Lane Monday: Even worse than you thought

A shared login? This concept's not right.
This should be where security's tight.
Their proposal's not funny.
The login? "CASH/MONEY"
Now days, it'd be "Username3027/F46P2mra#!"

(I was on vacation when this originally ran on 7/29/09)

July 16, 2019 - Hello? Hello?

A co-worker exclaimed, "What the bleep!
Aren't you working on-call! What a creep!"
"New mom's digits?" He'd moan.
Since she turned off her phone,
Both that mom and I got us some sleep.

July 17, 2019 - It's all been documented

There's conventions for naming required.
When docs came in, they're not as desired.
Program's canned. Could you fix
All those names just for kicks?
Sorry, guys, as of now I'm retired!

July 18, 2019 - Throwback Thursday: Doesn't 'new' mean perfect?

Throwback Thursday Limerick (7/8/09)

When replacing the server that died,
I submitted my game plan with pride.
Then my boss said “OK,
Let me ask, if I may,
Will our hardware no longer get fried?”

“Here’s the issue, and please, don’t confuse it.
When in service, we sure won’t abuse it.
Will it die? I can’t say.
But the only known way
We can keep it like new is not use it.”

July 19, 2019 - Help wanted

As our company grew, you'd presume
My new coder was great! But the room
When I asked, I was told
That my guy was too old.
They want guys who wrote code in the womb.

July 22, 2019 - Should auld acquaintance

There's a SNAFU! A second! a third!
The reports have their printing deferred.
In IT, we'll all speak
Of that fusterclucked week,
But the auditors won't hear a word!

July 23, 2019 - Spiked punch

Jammed up keypunches caused quite a queue.
With a card, all those jams I'd saw through.
After freeing up three,
The queue pointed at me
And said, "Who's next? We say that it's you!"

July 24, 2019 - A good rep that's bad news

I worked fast with a chant in my head.
"You're too fast - we don't need you," they said.
I was out a day's pay.
When I went back one day,
I decided, "Work half-fast instead."

July 25, 2019 - Throwback Thursday: Vroom vroom!


Since his PC was bringing him woe,
Could I fix it, since I’m in the know?
I then found the solution:
It’s less resolution.
That sports car made everything slow.

July 26, 2019 - Flashback Friday: See, I fixed it


When the printer was jammed up one day,
I detected a fragrant bouquet.
To get rid of a squeak,
Their technique was unique:
They used lotion that’s made by Olay.

July 29, 2019 - Open source of distraction

There's one guy we would tear limb from limb!
Of his habit, our group's view's quite dim.
Whistling tunes undesired,
Soon he's CIO fired,
'Cause he thought he was whistling 'bout him.

July 30, 2019 - Time-Machine Tuesday; not so much


This one manager makes us all edgy.
So I said to my co-worker, Reggie,
“If this guy’s such a geek,
Why won’t someone just sneak
Up behind him and give him a wedgie?”

July 31, 2019 - https://www.computerworld.com/article/3411964/shiny.html" target="_blank">Shiny!

Why'd that router shut off around two?
Watch the lab - that is just what I'll do!
What was making us bugged?
For some buffer, unplugged.
Glad it wasn't in some ICU...