Wayback Wednesday Limerick (4/30/09)
Our deep hatred of malware’s unmatched.
Each infection we’re striving to catch.
But a call came this morning
About a dire warning.
At least it’s no Microsoft patch.
Throwback Thursday Limerick (5/1/09)
Since I’m moving on up in the joint,
A new honcho they had to appoint.
Though he seemed kind of bright
It evaded their sight
How his hair seemed to grow to a point.
All those floppies are blank? What the Zuck?
With a trip to the client I'm stuck.
So the boss said "Adieu,
Got your floppies? Take two,
Or like disks to a file, you'll be stuck."
There was one eager shopper at work.
Need some stuff? He would sure go berserk!
This arrangement fell hard
Via corporate card
Since it took away one of the perks.
Time-Machine Tuesday Limerick (5/4/09)
When the office we moved to was built
I requested a drawer with tilt.
Though it’s not on her list,
For my wrist I persist
‘Til my logical mind made her wilt.
Student decks contain miniature thrusters?
It's a problem, and staff it sure flusters.
With green cards punched like lace,
They'd shoot all o'er the place
Like that library scene in Ghostbusters.
Throwback Thursday Limerick (5/7/09)
The responses have tended to flatten
Us from plants from LA to Manhattan.
Though it’s clear to our team,
They are making it seem
Just like JIM’s talking to them in Latin.
Pilot Fish in this blog all along'll
Know wireless gear needs a dongle.
It has got to be said
Nothing plays with your head
Like when using a dongle that's wrong'll.
A dead monitor once at my gig
Had a guy using it. What the frigg?!?
The thing works even when
It has not been plugged in.
Did he tell it he wants to be big?
"Get away with my laptop?!? No more!!!"
He made sure the thief's stuck on his floor.
In retirement, with surety,
He'll work security.
He's got a foot in the door.
An emergency plan I would pitch.
"What's your number?" He won't give an inch!
Well, if he needs a ride,
We should all run and hide.
Hey, there, Pal, you know karma's a bitch!
There's a script I wrote, one of my best.
I was hoping the thing would get blessed.
It's my boss, it will find.
Though it's working just fine,
Ten years later, it still is in test.
There's a stench, and the search had begun.
It's a mouse, and it's status: Well Done.
Cartoon fans are in tears!
After seventy years,
It's appearing that Tom fin'lly won.
Memory-Lane Monday Limerick (5/19/09)
The new shelving job I have to bash
Since the contractor tried to save cash.
He had tried to use glue,
But the monitors flew
And the whole thing fell down in a crash.
So his job wound up being a dud.
So I told the guy, “Listen up, bud!
I designed it myself.
Now go rebuild the shelf,
This time screwing it into a stud.”
All the movers were quick to discover
Around cut-offs while working, don't hover.
Lots of teeth would be gnashed
As each server, they crashed,
Which is why each switch now has a cover.
What we told them would cause them to fidget.
"You can't validate socials, you idjet!
You can't tell if it's wrong!
They're just nine digits long!
Unlike barcodes, there is no check digit."
THROWBACK THURSDAY LIMERICK (5/22/09)
There's a sale, but the phones are disabled
For a tech had misread the wrong label.
But soon, letter by letter
The system's all better
Because of a fish we call Babel.
Getting printouts at once was my goal.
My instructor, one method he stole.
I would soon learn one day
How to keep it that way
Is to shut up and not tell a soul.
Our new CIO's tour did come through.
I explained just what each part would do.
He asked, "What's DMZ?"
He's not stupid. You see,
From his background, he already knew.
TIME-MACHINE TUESDAY LIMERICK (6/1/09)
The new PC’s all gave me a shock.
They won’t boot though they come straight from
stock.
“There’s a CPU missing!”
The vendor’s tech’s hissing.
I answered, “Dude, you’ve got a rock!”
To make sure all part numbers have clarity,
A check digit should stop all disparity.
What's the drawbacks? There's one.
It's reports by the ton.
It's replaced by a thing known as parity.
Throwback Thursday Limerick (6/4/09)
We were sure we were gonna catch heck
When the CEO called up our tech.
Wouldn’t everyone like a
Job where all the FICA
Is maxed on the new year’s first check?
What the guy told me as an aside -
"Check with managers." "Meh," I replied.
There's some change to be done
But I'm told not a one,
So I earned the cursed trebuchet ride.