Memory-Lane Monday Limerick (3/30/09)
Last time, when the cell site was sprayed,
A huge bug made the bug man afraid.
So next time I’ll prevail on
My boss, to save halon
To just buy a big can of Raid.
Near the batt'ries I heard a big fuss.
The new techie, oh boy, could he cuss.
That spark gave him a fright,
And he worried he might
Wind up dead, which is just like G+.
Wayback Wednesday Limerick (4/1/09)
When the user found he couldn’t print,
I supplied to him my helpful hint.
Help desk took me aside.
“It’s OK,” was replied.
Did he thank me? He could, but he dint.
Throwback Thursday Limerick (4/3/09)
While replacing our venting outmoded,
Our main UPS got overloaded.
Though we said all along,
“Use the power strip? Wrong!”
Still the users who were in the know did.
Flashback Friday Limerick (4/6/09)
When I got there, the tension was rife.
You could cut all the stress with a knife.
When I went to confirm,
I had found that the term-
inal switch would soon give them whole life.
Memory-Lane Monday Limerick (4/7/09)
When the servers in our corporation
Both had crashed, it was quite a sensation.
For below and above
There’s a massive case of
Condensation formation frustration.
On the floor this one techie did thrash.
"Use that grease? Why, some heads I should bash!"
What had made it erratic?
The buildup of static.
Discharge caused the mainframe to crash.
That last tube is expensive to stock.
Then they showed what they'd do. What a shock!
You say clockwise today?
Kids will tell you, "No way!"
Since they can't read an analog clock.
Throwback Thursday Limerick (4/14/09)
It’s a pain when a hospital’s shrink
Thinks the PC he’s got’s on the blink.
He will act like the geek
Just converses in Greek
Which can drive many sane men to drink.
There were times when the mainframe's not right.
When the choppers returned from a flight.
Though each day we would curse,
Things could only get worse
If they had Gary Burghoff on site.
That old manager's surely not calm
When the program did nothing but bomb.
But it's really a blast
To read tales of the past
In a story concerning JIM's mom.
Since the punchline of the limerick of ten years
ago wasn't timely, I wrote a new one.
What I did, I would take lots of pride
For what me and that suit would decide.
Problem's fixed, so it seemed,
But I got my butt reamed
Since that gol' darn executive lied.
O2BIrish
TIME-MACHINE LIMERICK (4/15/09)
The exec thought that he should acknowledge
When I used all my technical knowledge.
Though it turned out all right,
It’s like he could be writing
Acceptance emails for some college.
The reasoning for this one is that around the
beginning of that month, a few colleges made the mistake of blasting out acceptance email messages
to prospective students they had not accepted. They had to send out hurriedly written emails soon afterward explaining themselves.
I'm sure there will be a story or two running
today where the same thing happened...
Thought the fish in a tech support session,
"Could our printing prompts need to be freshened?"
There's one dialog more:
Should the size be A4,
or Not A4? That is the question."
Throwback Thursday Limerick (4/17/19)
Thought the fish in a tech support session,
"Could our printing prompts need to be freshened?"
There's one dialog more:
Should the size be A4,
or Not A4? That is the question."
Wait - isn't that the limerick from the previous day? Well, yes it is. You see, when Sharky posted this Throwback Thursday story, he changed the title and the tag line, but didn't change the story itself.
I finally posted the real Throwback Thursday limerick a day or so after the real story got corrected - which Sharky found out about in my own unique way...
Throwback Thursday Limerick for the real story (4/17/09)
I had money that I had to spend,
So I thought I could follow a trend
For my vision correction.
I made the selection
Of lasik, my contacts to end.
Though I wished that the healing would hurry,
All my co-workers tended to worry.
They had changed out my screen
But their joke wasn’t seen
Because everything to me was blurry.
A new story got run once, and then
Throwback Thursday, it's back once again!
To the Shark, this I'd blurt!
Now I won't win a shirt,
If I did, that'd be shirt number ten.
I let Sharky know about the Throwback Thursday story by submitting it as a story for the Tank! The editor sent me a note back thanking me for letting him know. I replied saying it he could use it as a story itself since it would make a good punch line for the last couple days, and he ran with it.
"Where's our numbers report?" asked the guy.
"What's it for?" I replied with a sigh,
"Please don't feel like a chump,
It's a memory dump,
Or a list of the digits of pi..."
I wondered if this story wasn't run before in 2001
-
https://www.computerworld.com/article/3390145/report-meets-abrupt-end.html
For six months, our front door's tightly guarded.
Bags were checked as employees departed.
Rumors heard on the scene:
'Twas the crew that would clean
Lifting Macs in the trash we've discarded.
It was really not much of a shock.
Buy new tablets? Each time she'd be blocked.
I believe it would seem
That the management team
Has been drinking too much of their stock.
Throwback Thursday Anti-Limerick (4/22/09)
When the technician drove to the switch
To repair what was causing the glitch,
First the switch he explored,
Then he pulled out a board
Or two. Then he thought, “Oh, what a terrible
thing I have done, since I have now taken out the entire phone system, and can’t call
my supervisor to get rebooting instructions. And because of all this I will probably get fired…” over and over for 40 miles.
Flashback Friday Limerick (4/23/09)
Hey! The AC’s off! I know that smell!
And the server room’s hotter than hell!
Gear’s been toasted, although
It is sure nice to know
The new phone switch is working so well.
When I tripped, I thought, "What have I done?
I've dropped tons of code students want run.
All those decks took a dive,
I am sure playing Five-
Thousand Pick-up will not be much fun!"
That new plotter, once running fantastic
Was now acting a little bit spastic.
When they'd draw a straight line
Our device would run fine -
They should find a new vendor for plastic.