Don't computers like heat? I would say,
"As a system admin, it's no way!
If the temp's 96
You would be in a fix.
So if you wouldn't like it, should they?"
(The one I wrote when this story originally ran on 2/2/2009)
Once my boss told me I should surrender
A new camera that came from a vendor.
So I did as he said
And re-boxed it instead,
And inscribed on it “Return to Sender.”
But receiving some tickets priced steep
Was my rule-spouting boss and a veep.
I can’t take all this nonsense,
For I’ve got a conscience!
I hate hypocritical creeps!
"Drain the server room when it's so dry?
There's no cash, so we won't," they would cry.
When a boss has to bail
Every Gulp, tub and pail
He'll find funding, you cannot deny.
In the days of the old PDP,
There's dead terminals? How can that be?
What's the fix? 'Twasn't cute.
It was given a boot
By Fred's "Ten and a half triple E".
Throwback Thursday Limerick
(The one I wrote when this story originally ran on 2/4/2009)
When the Unix guy loaded the cracker,
He became an NT password hacker.
Though it opened our eyes,
There’s no way to disguise
We could be accessed by an attacker.
So to scratch a revenge laden itch,
I arranged for an audit team pitch.
In surprise, we said “Wow!”
But we won’t tell them how,
For we all know that payback’s a bitch.
Flashback Friday Limerick
(The limerick I wrote when this story ran on
2/5/2009)
While moving our four UPS’s,
A landscaper caused us some stresses.
What served to confuse?
Another firm whose
Address is just what our address is.
With those statements, things sure went amiss.
That new logo, we'd all have to diss.
Things did not go as planned -
It was drawn up by hand,
˙sıɥʇ
ǝʞıן pǝʇuıɹd sɐʍ unɹ
ʇsɹıɟ ǝɥʇ ǝɔuıs
Time-Machine Tuesday Limerick
(The limerick I wrote when this story ran on
2/11/2009)
In supporting the printing plants Asian,
I had used my best gifts of persuasion
Just to be reimbursed,
But instead I was cursed.
It won't be a part of the equation.
So I said to my manager, “Fine,
I am not one predestined to whine.”
But I no longer hurt,
For I’m getting a shirt!
Yes, indeedy! This story is mine!!!
I was wondering if any of my old stories would make the Throwback stories. It was nice to see this story from four employers ago show up on the three-month anniversary at my current position.
Why's that SSD suddenly dead?
'Twas a thing that would mess with my head.
He would take quite a risk
When he'd format that disk.
Like that Hat, now his face had turned Red.
Throwback Thursday Limerick (2/16/2009)
I'm a help desk fish out on a mission,
Checking IP address and permission.
But he failed to spill
He was at his desk still.
I'm a help desk tech, not a magician!
It's a joke that would need some explaining.
While it's really not too entertaining,
This new fake IBM
Could be useful to them:
They could use it for new system training!!!
Memory-Lane Monday Limerick (2/19/09)
The café where I like to relax is
Someplace I can get internet access.
But one day it expired,
So I went and inquired
To find out just what all of the facts is.
“If you want to know all that went down, sir,
The café has no P.A. announcer.
We can clear out the joint
By unplugging the point.
That way we have no need for a bouncer.”
At one time I was good to log in.
Now my password's not working again.
What's the problem today?
Any DOS fish would say
Just add chr's thirteen and ten.
O'er his login the user would flip!
"It's not working! Your butt I should rip!!!"
Though he thinks I'm a creep,
I'm backed up by our veep.
"You must drive here. Now have a nice trip."
Throwback Thursday Limerick (2/23/2009)
This new slick methodology’s job
Was to manage the work for the mob.
Since the name’s now taboo,
We should name it anew:
Something nicer, like “Microsoft Bob."
When returning, I worked undeterred.
Why's the clownfish now acting absurd?
Thought the fish, "It's true that
His small prank would fall flat
If the sound it makes cannot be heard."
When our disk space was getting quite slim,
I suggested a fix on a whim.
It was really quite sharp:
Fill the disk up with carp
Like the messages posted by JIM.
HR's speed can be really quite frightening.
On new hires they could use some enlightening.
Things will normally go
Unbelievably slow,
While a firing goes faster than lightning.
Pulling data together's my hope.
"Not with what you've got. Later, you dope."
Then that vendor would ask,
"Wow - you did that so fast -
Could you show us how?" I just said, "Nope."
THROWBACK THURSDAY LIMERICK (3/9/09)
I’m employed by a claims center giant,
Where we had a glitch with a new client.
All their medical claims,
They would go down in flames
Since the data we got’s not compliant.
So together, the three of us spent
O’er an hour in tracing the scent.
We should take his help ticket
And tell him to stick it,
And read the report that he sent.