February 2019

February 1, 2019 - Flashback Friday: That’s unusual?

Don't computers like heat? I would say,
"As a system admin, it's no way!
If the temp's 96
You would be in a fix.
So if you wouldn't like it, should they?"

February 4, 2019 - Memory-Lane Monday: Do as I say, not as I ...

(The one I wrote when this story originally ran on 2/2/2009)

Once my boss told me I should surrender
A new camera that came from a vendor.
So I did as he said
And re-boxed it instead,
And inscribed on it “Return to Sender.”

But receiving some tickets priced steep
Was my rule-spouting boss and a veep.
I can’t take all this nonsense,
For I’ve got a conscience!
I hate hypocritical creeps!

February 5, 2019 - Not-so-Big Gulp

"Drain the server room when it's so dry?
There's no cash, so we won't," they would cry.
When a boss has to bail
Every Gulp, tub and pail
He'll find funding, you cannot deny.

February 6, 2019 - And that, kids, is how you boot a system.

In the days of the old PDP,
There's dead terminals? How can that be?
What's the fix? 'Twasn't cute.
It was given a boot
By Fred's "Ten and a half triple E".

February 7, 2019 - Throwback Thursday: Pick a card, any card...

Throwback Thursday Limerick
(The one I wrote when this story originally ran on 2/4/2009)

When the Unix guy loaded the cracker,
He became an NT password hacker.
Though it opened our eyes,
There’s no way to disguise
We could be accessed by an attacker.

So to scratch a revenge laden itch,
I arranged for an audit team pitch.
In surprise, we said “Wow!”
But we won’t tell them how,
For we all know that payback’s a bitch.

February 8, 2019 - Flashback Friday: A little TOO efficient

Flashback Friday Limerick
(The limerick I wrote when this story ran on 2/5/2009)

While moving our four UPS’s,
A landscaper caused us some stresses.
What served to confuse?
Another firm whose
Address is just what our address is.

February 11, 2019 - So much learning in one day

With those statements, things sure went amiss.
That new logo, we'd all have to diss.
Things did not go as planned -
It was drawn up by hand,
˙sıɥʇ ǝʞıן pǝʇuıɹd sɐʍ unɹ ʇsɹıɟ ǝɥʇ ǝɔuıs

February 12, 2019 - Time-Machine Tuesday: It’s all in how you ask

Time-Machine Tuesday Limerick
(The limerick I wrote when this story ran on 2/11/2009)

In supporting the printing plants Asian,
I had used my best gifts of persuasion
Just to be reimbursed,
But instead I was cursed.
It won't be a part of the equation.

So I said to my manager, “Fine,
I am not one predestined to whine.”
But I no longer hurt,
For I’m getting a shirt!
Yes, indeedy! This story is mine!!!

I was wondering if any of my old stories would make the Throwback stories. It was nice to see this story from four employers ago show up on the three-month anniversary at my current position.

February 13, 2019 - How much knowledge is a dangerous thing?

Why's that SSD suddenly dead?
'Twas a thing that would mess with my head.
He would take quite a risk
When he'd format that disk.
Like that Hat, now his face had turned Red.

February 14, 2019 - Throwback Thursday: Can I see me now?

Throwback Thursday Limerick (2/16/2009)

I'm a help desk fish out on a mission,
Checking IP address and permission.
But he failed to spill
He was at his desk still.
I'm a help desk tech, not a magician!

February 15, 2019 - Funny ha-ha

It's a joke that would need some explaining.
While it's really not too entertaining,
This new fake IBM
Could be useful to them:
They could use it for new system training!!!

February 18, 2019 - Memory-Lane Monday: Whatever works

Memory-Lane Monday Limerick (2/19/09)

The café where I like to relax is
Someplace I can get internet access.
But one day it expired,
So I went and inquired
To find out just what all of the facts is.

“If you want to know all that went down, sir,
The café has no P.A. announcer.
We can clear out the joint
By unplugging the point.
That way we have no need for a bouncer.”

February 19, 2019 - Yabba dabba do!

At one time I was good to log in.
Now my password's not working again.
What's the problem today?
Any DOS fish would say
Just add chr's thirteen and ten.

February 20, 2019 - R-E-S-P-E-C-T

O'er his login the user would flip!
"It's not working! Your butt I should rip!!!"
Though he thinks I'm a creep,
I'm backed up by our veep.
"You must drive here. Now have a nice trip."

February 21, 2019 - Throwback Thursday: Scope creep

Throwback Thursday Limerick (2/23/2009)

This new slick methodology’s job
Was to manage the work for the mob.
Since the name’s now taboo,
We should name it anew:
Something nicer, like “Microsoft Bob."

February 22, 2019 - Crickets

When returning, I worked undeterred.
Why's the clownfish now acting absurd?
Thought the fish, "It's true that
His small prank would fall flat
If the sound it makes cannot be heard."

February 25, 2019 - Share and share alike?

When our disk space was getting quite slim,
I suggested a fix on a whim.
It was really quite sharp:
Fill the disk up with carp
Like the messages posted by JIM.

February 26, 2019 - File that one under 'Somebody else's problem'

HR's speed can be really quite frightening.
On new hires they could use some enlightening.
Things will normally go
Unbelievably slow,
While a firing goes faster than lightning.

February 27, 2019 - Wayback Wednesday: I'm going to pass on that

Pulling data together's my hope.
"Not with what you've got. Later, you dope."
Then that vendor would ask,
"Wow - you did that so fast -
Could you show us how?" I just said, "Nope."

February 28, 2019 - Throwback Thursday: And you know which method he'll choose


I’m employed by a claims center giant,
Where we had a glitch with a new client.
All their medical claims,
They would go down in flames
Since the data we got’s not compliant.

So together, the three of us spent
O’er an hour in tracing the scent.
We should take his help ticket
And tell him to stick it,
And read the report that he sent.