December 2018

December 3, 2018 - Why we love recommendations

All those ref'rences? You should beware!
Old employers, they really don't care.
They will do what's required
Just to get some guys hired,
So some slacker gets out of their hair.

December 4, 2018 - The name that must not be, um, Skyped?

To use Skype, my full name it would seek.
But my name will not work. I would freak!
To get into the game
I must misspell my name
Just like Babmbi and her friend Moanique.

December 5, 2018 - Just like clockwork

Every month they would crash. What's the deal?
"Come and fix it again!" they would squeal.
What's the cause of their gripe?
'Twas an integer type.
That's not right for the time, dude! Get real!!!

December 6, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: Bin There, done that

(Original limerick from when the story ran on

The Controller they bought was a SCSI.
T'was thrown out with old food, green and fuzzy.
It was still in the bin,
So the fish jumped right in.
Guess that makes him a SCSI one, was he?

December 7, 2018 - But hey, she sure interviewed well!

"Could you write this for me? I'm not proud!"
Our head programmer, she laughed out loud.
Programming skills are required -
Now, why was this girl hired?
I would say 'twas how well she's endowed.

December 10, 2018 - Forbidden names, revisited

In the days Compuserve was alive,
For clean user names, they would sure strive.
Many folks were dismayed
Like the lady who played
Beaver Cleaver's mom, fluent in Jive.

December 11, 2018 - And that was actually the CLEAN version!

We thought filtering email was wise
In our industry, there's a surprise.
Those part names that we use
We will have to excuse
Since those parts were all named by some guys.

December 12, 2018 - So you think anyone will want this 'timesharing' stuff?

You think timesharing terminal's hard?
Think again, writes this techie nerd bard.
Other programmers howl.
"Hey! Us too!" they would growl.
"It sure beats punching boxes of cards."

December 13, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: Info sharing, meet sharing info

(The limerick I wrote when this story originally
ran on October 31, 2008)

The departmental teams had some plans
To share data by means of the LANs.
The heads needed to talk.
They did not need to walk,
They could just use some string and tin cans.

December 14, 2018 - Let me draw you a picture

When he was spoke, he was really up front.
As an admin, he's sort of a grunt.
What would cause us to laugh?
'Twas his offensive graph.
So on this guy, we opted to punt.

December 17, 2018 - Hey, you bring YOUR tools, I'll bring mine!

'Bout their luggage these ladies both bragged
How they'd pack so the weights won't be flagged.
Every Tank reader knows
There's two dancers whose clothes
Could all fit in a small sandwich bag.

December 18, 2018 - You get what you pay for

When I looked through my spam, one had showed
How the guy thought in programming mode.
While the message was spam
Which most users will damn,
But at least the guy comments his code...

December 19, 2018 - C'mon, what could possibly go wrong?

At the label, this one clerk would say,
"Review orders? It's boring! No way!"
She discovered the risk
Via Lawrence Welk disk.
Now she listens to polkas all day!

December 20, 2018 - Good thing nothing like this EVER happens in IT, right?

(My limerick from when the story originally ran on 11/21/08)

At the risk of my being demoted,
Used equipment was what I had quoted.
“Used equipment’s taboo,
You will quote only new!”
Hope the warning I got gets out-voted.

December 21, 2018 - Good thing nothing like this EVER happens in IT, right?

Boy, our purchasing group was depraved!
Every order we placed had been waived.
After making their touch,
The gear costs twice as much,
But just think of the money we saved!

December 24, 2018 - Christmas has been cancell--er, rescheduled!

Christmas Sunday, it's only straight pay?
The day after, it's double? No way!!!
With this grievance I've aired
With our readers who cared,
Let's observe this year's Festivus day!!!

December 25, 2018 - See how well that worked out?

"Don't put trees on the server!" we clucked.
Our advice, the darned office staff bucked.
On that box, there's a tree?
Y'all, it crashed! Glory be!
Like the server, their idea sucked.

December 26, 2018 - How about a little Christmas fudge?

When the go-live would happen at last,
There's some testing we'd run in a mass.
"But some tests! They would fail,"
The poor fish had to wail.
But in failing, it meant that they passed.

December 27, 2018 - Run. Boom! Repeat.

When the go-live would happen at last,
There's some testing we'd run in a mass.
"But some tests! They would fail,"
The poor fish had to wail.
But in failing, it meant that they passed.

December 28, 2018 - Broken, not broken, broken, not broken...

One fine day at my tech support gig,
I had hoped they would bill those guys big.
Just what did those guys think?
Our report's on the blink
'Cause they're plugged to that thingamajig?!?

December 31, 2018 - Not change! Anything but change!

'Twas a mindset that some would call strange.
Though some updates they'll have to arrange,
Use Exchange? No darned way!
New provider? They say
They won't change 'til they're done with the