October 2018

October 1, 2018 - Open door policy

"Now the server room system's complete.
Motion sensors! It works really neat!"
A blank paper displayed
Flaws in logic were made.
It would cause them to mutter, "Aw, sheet!"

October 3, 2018 - Self promotion

Here's a resume. Whose would it be?
There's no way that this guy we would see.
What the resume said
Went way over his head,
For the guy who had done that was me!

October 4, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: How (not) to save money in IT

We need drives - it's a fact we'd deduce.
Too expensive - their standard excuse.
A new server they bought,
Then new drives would be bought.
They're replaced, but no longer in use.

October 5, 2018 - Hit the web with my laptop? Hope's slim!

Hit the web with my laptop? Hope's slim!
Our security - my view is dim.
In a hotel alone?
I must surf on my phone.
With one finger, I type just like JIM.

October 8, 2018 - Open door policy

I had sent a note - here's what's ahead
Your display will sleep. It won't be dead.
Session stopped? 'Twasn't me!
But it's still nice to see
That the memos I send do get read.

October 9, 2018 - That user's name wasn't Barney NEWTON, was it?

What the guy did just would not compute.
He can't log in each time he'd reboot.
I arrived on the scene.
"Don't be touching your screen.
Use the keys to three-finger salute."

October 10, 2018 - Where THAT consultant came from

That consultant, a trend he would buck.
If you’re good, at one job you’ll be stuck.
If you’re only okay,
They might send you away.
You’ll go places the more that you suck.

October 11, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: Why we love sales people

All our logging - I have to applaud it.
For one order, our logs I would audit.
When's the order defaced?
Two days after it's placed.
'Twas the salesman. We're glad that I caught it.

October 15, 2018 - The banana problem

Make a call on my phone? What's the deal?!?
Snap a pic of that number? Get real!
"My banana-shaped phone -
It won't work!" I would moan.
Though it's broken, it's still got appeal!

Today I celebrate ten years of writing limericks
for Shark Tank stories!!!

October 16, 2018 - Leadership, demonstrated

Asked the CIO MBA grad,
"Now, is latency good? Is it bad?"
We bamboozled the bloke
With a manager's joke.
Since the incident's closed, we're all glad.

October 17, 2018 - Back pay payback

There's some pay that is coming to me.
When I checked it out, what did I see?
'Twas a really cruel trick.
Bet the guy's name is Dick,
Only spelled with a lower case "d".

October 18, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: Well, he was busy, OK?

When that hurricane Ike stormed on through,
"Take your laptops home. That's what to do."
The disaster rec guy
Didn't follow that. Why?
He might just want a laptop that's new.

October 19, 2018 - Policies and paper trails -- our new best friends

Though the rules I never betray,
I'm suspended from work for one day.
Now the system group's norm
Is to fill out a form.
In that way, we can all C our A.

October 22, 2018 - Wonder if they'll ever tell HIM what's going on...

When the VPN I'd try to borrow,
I'd get cut off. It brought me much sorrow.
Someone else would log on,
My connection - it's gone.
Bet they run the same story tomorrow.

October 23, 2018 - What's missing from this picture?

Does our patching for Linux sure suck!
Proper techniques for this they would buck.
Auto patching by YUM
Is IT's rule of thumb,
But the way that we patch, I call YUCK!

October 24, 2018 - Scope creep, redefined

He would promise the world, quite the boner!
Don’t get paid ‘til it’s done? What a groaner!
It would make my head throb
‘Til I found a new job.
Who’s the scope creep? I’d say it’s the owner.

October 25, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: Urgent, redefined

On-call calls I had hoped I would nix
But I'm told of a vendor's hot fix.
I don't want to be late,
But I'd wait and I'd wait.
The darned guy didn't show up 'til six!!!

October 26, 2018 - Well, do you trust 'em or don't you?

With the customers' cards, we they'll trust.
But with parts, a PIN's needed? DISGUST!!!
Wrote a super of ours
A neat group of four stars.
That requirement of PIN's he would bust.

October 29, 2018 - Little IT Shop of Horrors II: Ghost in the machine

Of my 3P, I sure like to boast.
"This costs just like a Beetle!" I'd boast.
But my darkroom's unwanted.
My friend says it's haunted.
The manual chased off my ghost.

October 30, 2018 - Little IT Shop of Horrors II: Another fine mess

O'er the mainframe floor, I would traverse.
Pumpkin puddle! I started to curse.
One guy said, "It's no stress -
I can mop up that mess!
At McDonald's, I've cleaned up much worse!"