July 2018

July 2, 2018 - You're not helping!

High-security logins have stopped.
Their executive said, "This I've topped!
Think your problem's bad, Bub?
I once dropped a huge sub!"
Like that submarine, they should be dropped.

July 3, 2018 - ...And never come back!

Of my tales, this plant boss feels quite dim.
I can't enter the plant on his whim.
What's the reason I can't
Do my work in that plant?
I might tell some good stories 'bout him!

July 4, 2018 - Wayback Wednesday: Undependence Day

Since the guy's doing crash reproduction,
What I said was a brilliant instruction.
Here's our system that's best:
We use testing to test
And production is used for production.

July 5, 2018 - Speed Kills

There's an open port! There I will go!
The results taught a good thing to know.
You must RTFM.
This, you must not condemn.
I found out it's for gear that is slow.

July 9, 2018 - Who says lowly IT techs don't get any power?

I'll admit that my shorts I had crapped
When my screwdriver sizzled and snapped.
There's one thing that I found:
Put the fuse on the ground?
That's a really good way to get zapped.

July 10, 2018 - Really, it'll be easier that

There's no email! I went up to meet her.
Don't need WiFi? I'd love to browbeat her!
Of these types we get weary.
It's due to one theory:
The principle thought up by Peter.

July 11, 2018 - How to be efficient and cost effective (or not)

Those consultants, their palms we had greased.
Their proposal, with that I'm not pleased.
Did they use half their brain?
'Twas a huge money drain,
And that project was never released.

July 12, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: Hey mister, got the time?

With each IPL, what did I see?
Time was set to the world's UTC.
When that time zone was set,
Just how close they would get?
They were close by a minute or three...

July 13, 2018 - How to win friends and influence people, eventually

My advice that I gave: unabashed.
To my firm about me, the suits lashed.
When a drive caused them pain
I was brought back again.
Like those VPs, its blocks would get trashed.

July 16, 2018 - The show must go on!

It had caused us some massive frustration
When the crew said it's time for libation.
We received lots of flack
From us moving a rack
Not to mention much disapprobation.

July 17, 2018 - It's a Y2K miracle!

When the updates to NT were made
It had left the poor admin afraid.
He said, "Oh, woe is me!
It's a BSOD!"
It's one time that a bug's caused by RAID.

July 18, 2018 - https://www.computerworld.com/article/3290287/internet/internet-meets-tornado-guess-who-wins.html

Storms are scary - you have to agree.
A tornado! Shut off each PC!
Everything's working fine.
I can still go online
Just as long as we don't lose that tree.

July 19, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: How to guarantee business will grow

The developer thinks he's a master!
"Well, a single select's so much faster."
After throwing a fit,
Why'd our DBA quit?
He was running away from disaster!

July 20, 2018 - It was a JOKE, OK?

Get my drive back? Those guys hit the roof.
'Twas a title I wrote as a goof.
Not Explorer - you see
It's Exploder to me,
Which is really not far from the truth.

July 23, 2018 - Nice to know our financial world is in safe hands

Fraud should leave lots of banks out there
When we tried to report it, things'd worsen.
We were just put on hold!
They don't want to be told
That's unless we go tell them in person.

July 24, 2018 - No good deed goes unpunished -- for anyone involved

There are heads on that disk out of line.
The reboot I did didn't go fine.
Here's a tip that's not weird.
Make sure memory's cleared.
That's a tip that I won't clear from mine.

July 25, 2018 - Unique, redefined

With the engineers I was sure clashin'.
My new system unique keys were crashin'.
After telling me, "Trust me,"
They all tried to bust me,
'Cause I didn't argue with passion.

July 26, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: Is this the end for Y2K?

In some routines, some bugs had been found.
They used logic that wasn't too sound.
Our concerns I'd allay,
That's until Y10K -
By that time, I will not be around.

July 30, 2018 - Never mind that it works, think how it LOOKS!

While I'm hurt at the joint past my knee,
A new network card's needed from me.
What was raising their hair?
Not me using my chair.
'Twas my scooting around going "WHEEEEEEEE!"

July 31, 2018 - Forget the facts -- we want something to blame!

Sometimes CEO's aren't very bright.
Other vendors charge less? Yeah, they might...
Bet he took lots of pride
In our tests side-by-side.
The results showed he really was right!