June 2018

June 1, 2018 - Code review

Though their code looked okay at first sight.
I decided their coders weren't bright.
They keep pointing to SYSTEM?
That comp'ny - I dissed 'em.
To write with those rights isn't right.

June 4, 2018 - Look, this isn't rocket science, it's networking!

This guy dazzles with much incoherence.
Although harmless at its first appearance,
All because of this idjet,
By flipping two digits
We all need security clearance.

June 5, 2018 - Consulting: So simple!

"Let's use CLRs. Really we should!
Stored procedures aren't nearly as good."
"Yes, let's use CLR!
It is better by far!"
"Hey, consultant! Show me if you could."

That consultant to fish did confide.
"Me use CLRs? 'Bout that I lied.
Hey, could you teach me how?"
What this guy needs right now
Is a self-imposed trebuchet ride.

June 6, 2018 - His last name wouldn't be Murphy, would it?

I must come in? My lid I would flip!
Laptops showed at an ungodly clip.
At the office I stayed.
As a bonus, I made
Extra cash for our honeymoon trip.

June 7, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: Breakfast of Champions

When we all heard that zap and that sizzle.
We must act before servers all fizzle.
What we told them with glee:
"We've brought in B.O.C."
While our tech-speak won't reach them, yet

June 8, 2018 - For sale: New PCs, never used

A good buyer she desperately seeks
For computers. The fish gladly peeks.
They're unused, that is true
Even though they are new,
She should sell them in shops for antiques.

June 11, 2018 - Rigged demo, defined

What does IT do? Some draw a blank.
When I show them, it's me they will thank.
They're impressed as can be,
Since one thing they won't see
Is the time I waste reading the Tank!

June 12, 2018 - Good thing they didn't do any programming, huh?

The directive on coding: Don't do it!
So we prototyped how to get through it.
It was working four years
As their staff spun their gears
'Til their programmer fin'lly got to it.

June 13, 2018 - Not so fast!

Of this student, I'd like to relate.
This guy's database won't run too great.
The design? Not too bad...
When a record he'd add,
It ran slowly - It's just like the state.

June 14, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: Well, no, not exactly

With a router, the branch was equipped.
But the thing will not synch, so I flipped.
What on earth had been done?
I was back to square one
When I heard that the router got clipped.

June 15, 2018 - Failure, redefined

I'm not told on the day I was hired
Using untested tools was required.
He won't need me no more
Since successes are poor?
It's that vendor who ought to be fired!<\/font>

June 18, 2018 - Failure, redefined

I'm not told on the day I was hired
Using untested tools was required.
He won't need me no more
Since successes are poor?
It's that vendor who ought to be fired!

June 19, 2018 - Wait, how can you be unclear on the concept of HEAT?

Was that network installed by some clown?
Over-heating would cause us to frown.
It sure doesn't surprise us!
You know that heat rises.
Those fans would just push it back down.

June 20, 2018 - Think of it as meeting the needs of the company

Every CIO wearing that badge'll
Change the balance of meetings, so fragile.
What will happen today
When it swings a new way?
We'll be stuck in a workplace called agile.

June 21, 2018 - Why do we even bother paying these IT guys, anyway?

After work at the bean-counter practice,
We explained to her just what the facts is.
"Don't move gear!" we would preach.
A new deal we would reach:
Don't fix PC's and we won't do taxes.

June 22, 2018 - Finished, redefined

There a deadline when projects are done.
It's not flexible? News that will stun!
Lots of fish here will know -
Never trust 1.0
Your first version to trust? 1.1

June 25, 2018 - Well, one of the problems anyway

'Twas a really bad PEBCAKish mess.
What the user wants? Fish can not guess.
Get good answers? No way!
Who could know what he'd say
If the fish would ask, "What's the address?"

June 26, 2018 - Urgent!

How some users' minds work's really strange.
Our old programs we can not exchange.
Move to web? We would try,
But four times it would die
For they just cannot handle the change.

June 27, 2018 - How (not) to speed up the system

What the fish saw had left him aghast!
The new guy with his quick scanning blast.
From the methods he showed,
I just tweaked up the code
So he'd only do scanning half-fast.

June 28, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: Essential, defined

Why's the network not at its potential?
I went looking for clues evidential.
With the World Cup today
There are lots who will say
That their watching those games is essential.

June 29, 2018 - Sometimes you just gotta take a broader view

There's an SMS glitch - I'm assigned it.
There's just ones? I'm required to find it!
I am here to relate -
SMS? Working great,
'Cause those guys were just too narrow-minded.