May 2018

May 1, 2018 - '...And if we're using it, why do we need training?'

A new email program? How fun!
There's some training that's left to be done.
There's a training event
And an email sent,
And it reads, "You have passed lesson one."


May 2, 2018 - At least they didn't just unplug it to plug in the vacuum

While at school, I would pull the all-nighter
When I played a computer code writer.
Cleaning crew comes my way?
That would start a new day
Like when outside the sky would get brighter.


May 3, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: Need to know? Yes!


Why'd the vendor rep say she's not thrilled?
For all extra work, they would be billed.
Yet the rep wouldn't say
How the data would lay.
Well, she could, then I'd have to be killed.


May 4, 2018 - 'And the internet -- you've heard of that, right?'

That consultant? Was he ever raw!
He's the worst one that I ever saw!
Your consultant's a fake!
That's the risk that you take
When you hire on your brother-in-law.


May 7, 2018 - But it's just a planet!

Was "Hello from Uranus" obscene?
'Twas the strangest note I'd ever seen.
I know who was to blame
For this one server's name -
It's the CIO's kid who's thirteen.


May 8, 2018 - Technically, they only had to replace one part

A dilemma the client had faced.
For new laptops they had a distaste.
What they sent us was dead.
What we wrote up, it said
Itís repaired when itís really replaced.


May 9, 2018 - Sure, go ahead and ask -- but don't tell

There's lost data? On this, I will sleuth.
What I found out was rather uncouth.
'Twas a manager's friend!
Now my job's at an end
'Cause it seems they can't handle the truth...


May 10, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: Well, that explains it

There's an outage to which we've been clued.
But team A will not answer? How rude!
I tried two other ways
Of alerting team A.
Sounds like A should be changing their 'tude.


May 11, 2018 - Clean, redefined

At the thumb drive this techie was squintin'
Inexperience? It's more than hintin'!
"Will a cloth wipe it clean?"
At one time he was seen
As a techie for Hillary Clinton.


May 14, 2018 - And thanks so much for your input, boss!

There's a crisis that hit in the kisser.
Was it Y2K? No, 'twas Melissa.
One director would whine,
"Cut the internet line!"
As Ted Striker would say, "What a pisser!"


May 15, 2018 - Smarter than you thought

Just six months from design to the shelf?!?
We all questioned this girl's mental health.
What she said made me laugh:
We could write it in half?
She should write that darned system herself!!!


May 16, 2018 - Well, it's secure, all right...

High security's what they're about.
"They've changed passwords" I heard our guy shout.
Won't they give today's yet?
Well, I think we'll just let
The executives hash this thing out...


May 17, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: Why comments were invented

O'er the phone book the suits loved to quarrel.
Of this bunch I had feelings immoral!
I so quickly would find
They can't make up their mind
Like today: Is it "Yanni" or "Laurel?"


May 18, 2018 - Success at last!

Would a UPS show up? I swear
My requests disappeared in thin air!
Why'd he leave them alone?
Since I brought one from home,
There's no need since one's already there


May 21, 2018 - Overboard

When he called me, 'twas really a shocker.
I thought he's surely gone off his rocker.
Where'd that laptop there go?
What the record would show:
They had stored it in Davy Jones' locker.


May 22, 2018 - Well, he was half-right -- it WAS plugged in...

Twas a call that was really mind-numbing.
There's no power? To you, I'll be coming.
The result of the call?
Plug it into the wall.
That leaves you and the terminal humming.


May 23, 2018 - Top-level executive support, redefined

Saving money the president's onto.
Use the Mexican system, and pronto!
Use a server that's old?
It won't work, he was told.
What's his nombre? We call the guy "Tonto."


May 24, 2018 - See, you just have to ask them the right way

That temp DBA did as I asked.
Then the test that I made surely passed.
While our DBA, he
Is IT's G-O-D,
But his systems, he ran them half-fast.


May 25, 2018 - See, you just have to ask them the right way

To HR we would plead and would rant.
"There's no time for our testing," they'd chant.
So for me, I'll do best
And I'll run my own test.
They'd agree when they're told that they can't.


May 28, 2018 - And how did you spend YOUR holiday weekend?

Will that manager be there? He won't?
But his prep job they loved to promote.
Over OT I'm slammed?
With this move I was damned
If I did and I'm damned if I don't.


May 29, 2018 - So you're saying we need to have THAT connected too?

"That darned fail-over fails!" they report.
"You should pay us a visit!" they snort.
Please, your duties, don't shirk!
I would bet it will work
If you properly set up your ports.


May 30, 2018 - There IS such a thing as too many user options

"Your app's slow!" they all said as they frowned.
"Half a minute to print!" they'd expound.
Lots of options? Okay.
They can make things their way,
But my reasoning sure wasn't sound.


May 31, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: It seemed like the thing to do at the time

1 AM I get called. Oh, what luck!
'Bout a job that has really been stuck.
Why not call me before?
There were pages ignored?
It's been stuck for two days? WHAT THE ZUCK?!?