A new email program? How fun!
There's some training that's left to be done.
There's a training event
And an email sent,
And it reads, "You have passed lesson one."
While at school, I would pull the all-nighter
When I played a computer code writer.
Cleaning crew comes my way?
That would start a new day
Like when outside the sky would get brighter.
Why'd the vendor rep say she's not thrilled?
For all extra work, they would be billed.
Yet the rep wouldn't say
How the data would lay.
Well, she could, then I'd have to be killed.
That consultant? Was he ever raw!
He's the worst one that I ever saw!
Your consultant's a fake!
That's the risk that you take
When you hire on your brother-in-law.
Was "Hello from Uranus" obscene?
'Twas the strangest note I'd ever seen.
I know who was to blame
For this one server's name -
It's the CIO's kid who's thirteen.
A dilemma the client had faced.
For new laptops they had a distaste.
What they sent us was dead.
What we wrote up, it said
Itís repaired when itís really replaced.
There's lost data? On this, I will sleuth.
What I found out was rather uncouth.
'Twas a manager's friend!
Now my job's at an end
'Cause it seems they can't handle the truth...
There's an outage to which we've been clued.
But team A will not answer? How rude!
I tried two other ways
Of alerting team A.
Sounds like A should be changing their 'tude.
At the thumb drive this techie was squintin'
Inexperience? It's more than hintin'!
"Will a cloth wipe it clean?"
At one time he was seen
As a techie for Hillary Clinton.
There's a crisis that hit in the kisser.
Was it Y2K? No, 'twas Melissa.
One director would whine,
"Cut the internet line!"
As Ted Striker would say, "What a pisser!"
Just six months from design to the shelf?!?
We all questioned this girl's mental health.
What she said made me laugh:
We could write it in half?
She should write that darned system herself!!!
High security's what they're about.
"They've changed passwords" I heard our guy shout.
Won't they give today's yet?
Well, I think we'll just let
The executives hash this thing out...
O'er the phone book the suits loved to quarrel.
Of this bunch I had feelings immoral!
I so quickly would find
They can't make up their mind
Like today: Is it "Yanni" or "Laurel?"
Would a UPS show up? I swear
My requests disappeared in thin air!
Why'd he leave them alone?
Since I brought one from home,
There's no need since one's already there
When he called me, 'twas really a shocker.
I thought he's surely gone off his rocker.
Where'd that laptop there go?
What the record would show:
They had stored it in Davy Jones' locker.
Twas a call that was really mind-numbing.
There's no power? To you, I'll be coming.
The result of the call?
Plug it into the wall.
That leaves you and the terminal humming.
Saving money the president's onto.
Use the Mexican system, and pronto!
Use a server that's old?
It won't work, he was told.
What's his nombre? We call the guy "Tonto."
That temp DBA did as I asked.
Then the test that I made surely passed.
While our DBA, he
Is IT's G-O-D,
But his systems, he ran them half-fast.
To HR we would plead and would rant.
"There's no time for our testing," they'd chant.
So for me, I'll do best
And I'll run my own test.
They'd agree when they're told that they can't.
Will that manager be there? He won't?
But his prep job they loved to promote.
Over OT I'm slammed?
With this move I was damned
If I did and I'm damned if I don't.
"That darned fail-over fails!" they report.
"You should pay us a visit!" they snort.
Please, your duties, don't shirk!
I would bet it will work
If you properly set up your ports.
"Your app's slow!" they all said as they frowned.
"Half a minute to print!" they'd expound.
Lots of options? Okay.
They can make things their way,
But my reasoning sure wasn't sound.
1 AM I get called. Oh, what luck!
'Bout a job that has really been stuck.
Why not call me before?
There were pages ignored?
It's been stuck for two days? WHAT THE ZUCK?!?