April 2018

April 2, 2018 - What were they thinking?

Most of Sam's mail would get flagged as bad
On account of the name that he had.
Were his parents out drinking?
What were his folks thinking?
"Let's name our son after his dad."

April 3, 2018 - Infinite loop

"What's the status of A, B and C?"
"There's no progress reported from me."
"How 'bout D then?" I'd sigh.
"There's no progress. Here's why -
He's too busy with A, B and C."

April 4, 2018 - Why DOES it take IT so long to solve user problems?

An unnoticed Win login name quirk
Caused a user, her duties to shirk.
While some help she would need,
She'd do sewing and read.
There's your tax dollars paid hard at work!

April 5, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: And they do this every month?

Through our AC their techies had nosed.
Of our system, they came unexposed.
They soon boiled our blood
By their causing a flood.
Glad that none of our systems got hosed.

April 6, 2018 - Shhhh!

That box jingled? I knew what to do.
Tip it forward. Some change would drop through.
How could this be improved?
Have the floppy removed,
And then have it take debit cards too.

April 9, 2018 - Don't know about the pony, but that dog won't hunt

Dog and pony shows make some guys squirm.
Like today's, it's a fact I'll confirm.
Did they feel like a jerk
When their demo won't work,
Or were they from the other guy's firm?

April 10, 2018 - Root Cause Analysis

It's not noticed those names were the same.
A root user who ain't: How insane!
One's more scary to me:
I'm sure Tanksters agree -
It's the group that gave "JBoss" its name.

April 11, 2018 - No good deed goes unpunished

When the database won't work a lick,
I'd restore from a backup - how slick!
Orders could not be placed!
A veep's wrath I soon faced
While my boss was the one that was sick.

April 12, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: Just one thing

Said the client, "Our network is beat!"
So I drove there - the owner I'd meet.
He had made a strange choice:
Data plugged into voice?
It don't work, but it looks oh, so neat!

April 13, 2018 - Big Data -- the 1970s version

Data processing training's for me
While I worked for the state DMV.
Tubs of forms we'll ignore
No one cares anymore
'Bout some 1909 Model T.

April 16, 2018 - Well, DID she ever change her password?

She received her new password from me.
"1fat-lady"? She's mad as can be!
Does she think I'm deranged?
Will her password get changed?
Bet her new one is "I-H8-IT"!

April 17, 2018 - Hey, it may be the best idea this project has seen!

That new upgrade has everyone mourning.
There's one call that began with a warning.
We've got customers dead!
It's our PM who said
That beer-thirty's at eight in the morning.

April 18, 2018 - Guess who didn't take care of it?

Why's the Oracle routine on ice?
Fred neglected to mention it twice.
I was written up quick
Due to Fred's delay schtick!
There are times you get hosed when you're nice.

April 19, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: Just a basic project

What's the spec? I did not hear a peep.
Was it "safe?" What I thought, I should bleep.
"You just do what they say."
Was it scope creep? No way!
That's quite hard when there's no scope to creep.

April 20, 2018 - If you can't take the heat...

That one sales-dude had made things quite tense.
His obsession with shade was immense!
Since his 'tude was so stinkin'
We pushed his black Lincoln
Until it was down by the fence.

While this heat can make some people surly,
Soon the owner addressed this dude squirrely.
Shady spots? Unreserved!
Except his - that's deserved.
It's a perk to arrive at work early.

April 23, 2018 - Picomanagement, defined

Picomanagement? What can that be?
Watching every small detail they see?
That's what lots of them do.
Some might say that's not true -
It's when your boss is called Mini-Me.

RIP: Verne Troyer 1969 - 2018

April 24, 2018 - One lousy hurricane hits and it all goes to the dogs

When the hurricane came with much fury,
I must get to the site in a hurry.
I must bring in my wife!
She's afraid for her life
Along with three others, all furry.

April 25, 2018 - Why we love lawyers (well, OUR lawyers, anyway)

When the GDPR came our way,
"That's not me!" this one lawyer would say.
"I'm not told, so I'll sue!"
That's not prudent to do
Thanks to archives I call "CYA."

April 26, 2018 - Throwback Thursday: How to improve security

To improve our group's login security,
The last username's gone to obscurity.
One clerk left on her screen
Her good password that's seen.
Yeah, that clerk will get canned with much surety...

April 27, 2018 - Those who can, do. Those who can't, have roommates.

Endless loop? Did I code while I'm sauced?
That darned roommate I'd sure like to toss.
Was it me? It can't be!
Now stay out of IT!
And so that is why JIM's now a boss.

April 30, 2018 - And we're guessing EVERYBODY is happier now

I'm reviewed on C#? I must slam it!
I was hired as a DBA, dammit!
I would go down the street
A new boss I would meet.
And my old job, I told them to cram it