Most of Sam's mail would get flagged as bad
On account of the name that he had.
Were his parents out drinking?
What were his folks thinking?
"Let's name our son after his dad."
"What's the status of A, B and C?"
"There's no progress reported from me."
"How 'bout D then?" I'd sigh.
"There's no progress. Here's why -
He's too busy with A, B and C."
An unnoticed Win login name quirk
Caused a user, her duties to shirk.
While some help she would need,
She'd do sewing and read.
There's your tax dollars paid hard at work!
Through our AC their techies had nosed.
Of our system, they came unexposed.
They soon boiled our blood
By their causing a flood.
Glad that none of our systems got hosed.
That box jingled? I knew what to do.
Tip it forward. Some change would drop through.
How could this be improved?
Have the floppy removed,
And then have it take debit cards too.
Dog and pony shows make some guys squirm.
Like today's, it's a fact I'll confirm.
Did they feel like a jerk
When their demo won't work,
Or were they from the other guy's firm?
It's not noticed those names were the same.
A root user who ain't: How insane!
One's more scary to me:
I'm sure Tanksters agree -
It's the group that gave "JBoss" its name.
When the database won't work a lick,
I'd restore from a backup - how slick!
Orders could not be placed!
A veep's wrath I soon faced
While my boss was the one that was sick.
Said the client, "Our network is beat!"
So I drove there - the owner I'd meet.
He had made a strange choice:
Data plugged into voice?
It don't work, but it looks oh, so neat!
Data processing training's for me
While I worked for the state DMV.
Tubs of forms we'll ignore
No one cares anymore
'Bout some 1909 Model T.
She received her new password from me.
"1fat-lady"? She's mad as can be!
Does she think I'm deranged?
Will her password get changed?
Bet her new one is "I-H8-IT"!
That new upgrade has everyone mourning.
There's one call that began with a warning.
We've got customers dead!
It's our PM who said
That beer-thirty's at eight in the morning.
Why's the Oracle routine on ice?
Fred neglected to mention it twice.
I was written up quick
Due to Fred's delay schtick!
There are times you get hosed when you're nice.
What's the spec? I did not hear a peep.
Was it "safe?" What I thought, I should bleep.
"You just do what they say."
Was it scope creep? No way!
That's quite hard when there's no scope to creep.
That one sales-dude had made things quite tense.
His obsession with shade was immense!
Since his 'tude was so stinkin'
We pushed his black Lincoln
Until it was down by the fence.
While this heat can make some people surly,
Soon the owner addressed this dude squirrely.
Shady spots? Unreserved!
Except his - that's deserved.
It's a perk to arrive at work early.
Picomanagement? What can that be?
Watching every small detail they see?
That's what lots of them do.
Some might say that's not true -
It's when your boss is called Mini-Me.
RIP: Verne Troyer 1969 - 2018
When the hurricane came with much fury,
I must get to the site in a hurry.
I must bring in my wife!
She's afraid for her life
Along with three others, all furry.
When the GDPR came our way,
"That's not me!" this one lawyer would say.
"I'm not told, so I'll sue!"
That's not prudent to do
Thanks to archives I call "CYA."
To improve our group's login security,
The last username's gone to obscurity.
One clerk left on her screen
Her good password that's seen.
Yeah, that clerk will get canned with much surety...
Endless loop? Did I code while I'm sauced?
That darned roommate I'd sure like to toss.
Was it me? It can't be!
Now stay out of IT!
And so that is why JIM's now a boss.
I'm reviewed on C#? I must slam it!
I was hired as a DBA, dammit!
I would go down the street
A new boss I would meet.
And my old job, I told them to cram it