"Why'd the stylus I'm using go dead?"
What I found made the help desk turn red.
When the battery died
They should toss it aside,
But they'd throw out the stylus instead!
"My darned laptop! The power is gone!"
After printing, to this, I was drawn.
To my boss's chagrin,
Everything was plugged in,
But the power strip wasn't turned on.
My text editor dug up a mystery.
To avoid sending Word's edit history,
You get out and back in
Which gets rid of this sin,
And avoids client tirades so blistery.
They won't listen to me, not one bit
When I'd tell them our drains were unfit.
I will bet those guys blushed
When a glove had been flushed.
Like their server room, they're in deep shit.
'Twas enough to cause admins to crack up.
When production died, things didn't stack up.
Soon the backup died too.
What that group needs to do:
They need backups to back up the backup.
When rewriting the firm's mobile app,
The design firm could not give a crap.
After bombing QA,
Throwing hours away,
It was tossed in the bucket called "Scrap."
Our darned network's not working as wished.
On IT the executives dished.
Levels one, two and three -
What'd we finally see?
Lots of cables all wound up or squished.
Those reviews are a crock, we all know it.
No one reads them. He set out to show it.
Like his common cold cure.
That's impressive, for sure.
Could I mention "ComputerWorld Poet?"
We can't screw in a light bulb?!? Get real!!!
Why is doing that such a big deal?!?
Why'd our permit get nixed?!?
Now the way it gets fixed
Is to bring in Shaquille O'Neal.
We'll scan docs for the ABA guild.
Of this program, those lawyers were thrilled.
Just as quick as can be
We will scan them for free,
While their clients will surely get billed.
'Twas a warehousing networking riddle.
With repeaters, our techies would fiddle.
But they sent it away.
Could there be any way
The antenna could go in the middle?
There's a 200-megabyte limit!
All the users - each one was agin it.
How's the limit defeated?
Their folder "Deleted!"
Unlimited! Old mail's put in it.
This could wind up a huge disk space risk.
So to action, our techies would whisk.
A new class would entail:
How to archive their mail,
Which would save it instead on their disk.
It was curious, thought this observer.
That guy wheeled and he dealt with much fervor.
'Twas a barter affair -
A disk here, a case there.
In the end, there's a new Franken-server.
At our firm, we've become quite reliant
On email, but a note with "to's" giant
(Over 32K)
When it went on its way,
It would crash every emailing client.
Every user became really mad.
When the second time, crashes were had.
What I saw was the worst:
This one followed the first,
And in essence, was saying, "Our bad..."
It's a method for meeting removal.
Who should use it? All those in the groove'll.
How's our goal get across?
Make them contact your boss
And then ask if they have his approval.
When the DBA's contract was tossed,
They were sure they were saving his cost.
They're now having a cow.
He's a huge bargain now,
Since there's two months of tickets now lost.
Of that doorknob, my view's really dim.
Was it missing a piece or a shim?
My boss gave it a spin.
I must work while locked in?
Boy, that sounds just like working for JIM.
There's an issue that gave us the blues.
Who would fix it.? An odd way to choose.
'Twas by wrestling wrists.
If my comp'ny insists,
I know every darned time that I'd lose.
Germans don't like to hear "World War Two."
Do not joke at that meeting. It's true.
That's like poets who'd say
If there's no V-J day
That today they'd be writing haiku.
We need ports in the PDQ way.
For our PDP without delay.
I'm a DIY bloke.
What I built didn't smoke.
In the end, it all worked AOK.
"Get my change in or else you'll be damned!!!"
So the system I soon reprogrammed.
Multi-vendors are found?
I'll make word get around
'Til the suits realize they'll get spammed.
That new 401(k) page by far
Had a link to a site so bizarre.
'Twas a link that could trouble you
(NSFW)
Actors now work in HR?
...and producers?
...and comedians?
...and authors?
...and politicians?
...and network morning show hosts?
O2BIrish
(NO, NOT ME!!! GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER!!!)