September 2017

September 1, 2017 - Well, at least they're honest about it!

Since our programs would never run right.
We pushed IE with all of our might.
So is Firefox okay?
When I checked, I said "Nay"
Since Mozilla would block its own site.

September 5, 2017 - Down memory lane -- and into a ditch

There's a guy - my assistance he sought.
He'd forget his darned password - a lot.
When we made it his name
The result was the same.
What it really should be: "IForgot."

September 6, 2017 - Details, details...

Every warehouse, they're eager to view.
But IT? That's the group they'll eschew.
To our group, they said "Beat it!
Your help, we don't need it!"
Except for the times when they do.

September 7, 2017 - Like a bolt from the blue

Past that S&L bank I once cruised.
In a flash I'm enlightened, amused.
When the call came our way
That they're down, I would say
For the fix, I would have to refuse.

September 8, 2017 - Nice work if you can get it

A new terminal we will be gaining.
Our old door systems won't need maintaining.
There'll be spare parts a plenty
From trashing VIC-20's
Old doors, they will need some retraining.

September 11, 2017 - Programming by the numbers

With those cards, this one class was encumbered
Through the hall, there's a student who lumbered.
Cards were dropped! What the heck?!?
I thought, "Unlike his deck,
Were his days in that Cobol class numbered?"

September 12, 2017 - Why would users need to know?

Using Firefox or Chrome? It's a pain.
IE's standard! Please let me explain:
It's to keep our staff pure.
We just making darned sure
We're all on board the Microsoft train.

September 13, 2017 - ImPerfect solution

Legal docs? Users made them all sexy,
Except one - her PC acted "hexy."
Her WordPerfect got nixed
All because she deep-sixed
The file WPDOS.EXE

September 14, 2017 - Kids! Do NOT try this at work!

What was quarantined made some guys drool.
They'd try viewing them. They ran like stool.
Windows users are cynics -
I'm glad I use Linux:
There's times being admin is cool.

September 15, 2017 - The bigger the problem...the LESS you should do?

Was his laptop put under a hex?
'Twas from content related to sex.
When kids grade him, they may
Give this prof a big 'A',
But I'd have to give "triple-X."

September 18, 2017 - Ready or not, we're ready!

There's an issue - we hope to defuse it.
Big storm outage? We have to reduce it.
What the bosses all say:
Network's back in one day.
There's just nobody out there to use it.

September 19, 2017 - It'll be there any day now

Ahoy, matey, that bloke's unaware.
'E's got IM already, me swear!
When the scurvy dog asked
If I finished his task,
So I proved it was already there.


Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!!!

September 20, 2017 - Just think of it as interactive debugging

When debugging their programs, it seemed
That the students got more than they'd dreamed.
Costs and paper? No fun!
There were more ways than one
That the students would always get reamed.

September 21, 2017 - Well, what else would you call it?

There were checks to be printed that day.
The "CHECKS" printer was down, so you say?
A new printer we'd choose.
The "A" printer we'd use.
Did the checks print out fine? "FNA!!!"

September 22, 2017 - Pragmatic programming, redefined

Though I work with two college grad masters,
I'm the one who could program much faster.
All their theory's okay,
But it won't help today
Since the section one's on's a disaster.

September 25, 2017 - This is why we can't have nice server names

It's called "Mongo." You know what that means.
They'll recall a film's favorite scenes.
I have got a good hunch
When they're ordering lunch
They should not place an order for beans.

September 26, 2017 - The real problem? It's too @#$%! easy to guess!

Overhearing a tech support chat
Where the tech got so mad that she spat.
It's the password he used.
Tell this woman? Refused.
What's his password? "ThatMakesYouLookFat"

September 27, 2017 - No good deed (or good work) goes unpunished

In a pickle? We couldn't be deeper.
IT's canned - it was like the grim reaper.
Though the FIN's named the same,
Now I'd give it this name:
The "Field Unicode Certified Keeper."

September 28, 2017 - D'oh!

As the VP tuned in, he thought, "Shush!
We must have a new server name push."
So the IT group aims
To use presidents' names.
That way, Clinton could go down on Bush.

September 29, 2017 - Another satisfied IT customer!

"I can't get in my laptop!" she'd groan.
What's her password? The answer's unknown.
"You don't know it? You should!"
Find a keyboard, she's good
Since her hands have a mind of their own.