He was causing a massive kerfuffle.
Since we want to avoid a big scuffle,
We then took a big chance:
We created a dance
And we called it "The Cobol Deck Shuffle."
'Twas a routine we followed each day.
While compiling, we're all paid to play.
Play the ponies, read news,
Plan a pool or a cruise -
We're just working the government way!
"Where's the problem?" It made my head throb.
"It's not us!" they'd reply like a snob.
"Since I'm charged with the task,
Their director I'll ask."
And so now I can start my new job!
What's the state of the contractor's task?
There's no answer to what he's been asked.
There's an answer he'd need
Before he could proceed:
What's the state of the contractor's task?
There's a move and I knew what to do.
I believed that it fin'lly was through.
Though that call was sure fun,
The next time that it's done
I'll make sure that the mice are moved too.
To a client, I went on a mission.
Teach a class, customized in addition?
There's no way that was planned!
Would my butt soon be canned?
Still that rep will receive his commission!
What's the area under a graph?
Since I'm on the computing room staff,
I'll run Fortran for fun.
It takes ten years to run?
"I might get my degree then," I'd laugh.
When I met the new boss, 'twas a storm.
"To our young way, you need to conform!!!"
A new job she must find.
In a programmer's mind,
To recycle old code is the norm.
With some idiots, I have been dealing.
What they did there had sent my head reeling.
"Plug a port to a switch?
There's no door there!" I'd bitch.
"My lone access is through the drop ceiling!"
With the squirrels, the technician was messin'.
Make the cable too slipp'ry, I'm guessin'?
That's not why squirrels won't munch
On your cable for lunch,
It's that squirrels don't like tasting that Wesson.
Is that architect some kind of hero?
He acts just like he's Robert De Niro.
"How's that project today?"
"Oh, I'd say it's half way."
Yeah, but half of a zero's still zero.
When we practiced our demo, it shined!
"Now the darned thing's not working!" I whined.
That car's driver, I'll bet
A new ticket he'll get,
But just not of that customer's kind.
There's a challenge this student fish faced.
Stuff runs long! Should this thing be replaced?
Add an index and soon
All the doctors will swoon,
And all doubts of the system dBased.
A disaster test we all had planned.
Would the power plan meet the demand?
Expectations were smashed
When an auto had crashed.
Now we think that all cars should be banned.
In a chat with that firm's Level One.
In an hour, little progress was done.
What I wanted to do
Was to chat Level Two,
But instead where I'm stuck's Level None.
(Two versions since I'm unsure of the
pronunciation of SCADA)
First Syllable: Long A
When we demoed the system called SCADA,
But the group was a huge east coast hay-ta.
Both our demos, they broke.
They let out magic smoke.
When we finished, they said, "See you layda!"
First Syllable: Short A
When we demoed the system called SCADA,
How we sounded to them? "Yada, yada."
Both our demos, they broke.
They let out magic smoke.
Just how much they would buy from us? Nada.
Overhearing stuff - sometimes it stings.
Overloads? On that issue, he springs.
You see, our operators
And your operators
Are totally separate things.
An Inserter install? Yessirree!!!
On a plane, I would fly o'er the sea.
Why's that system unstable?
The neck of a cable:
It's not what it's cracked up to be.
The new system had gone out as planned.
"I can't log in!" the user's demand.
Not for you? That's absurd!
Now, what part of the word
"Y E S" do you not understand?
A dead terminal? What could it be?
Is it plugged in? Please, go check for me.
It is dark there, you say?
That's exhibit tab "A",
That's why you can't see tabs "B" through "Z".
There's a task that he put on the shelf.
So I brought his connection to health.
We first brought it to life
With the help of his wife.
Only now he can do it himself!
There's new data they'd like to include.
Run the macro, just trust me now, dude!
Add a column, you're fine,
For it all will align.
(Make a change to a header? You're screwed!!!)