June 2017

June 1, 2017 - Why we love online calendars (and our bosses)

On line calendars - there's nothing greater.
"Move our meeting." I sure won't debate her.
Yes, two-thirty is fine.
"It was two!" she would whine.
So we missed it again, only later.

June 2, 2017 - How the old pro does it

"Where'd our disk space go? What in tarnation?"
That's a sysadmin's constant frustration.
An inspection? How sweet!
Barney made them delete
Films that JIM used for his motivation.

June 5, 2017 - Just one more reason to love Mondays

There's a change that's about three years old.
'Twasn't updated like we were told.
Vendor's blame? They'd believe,
A maternity leave,
While our guy, he's been out with a cold.

June 6, 2017 - Not the kind of job security we were looking for

I'm a Linux admin, born and bred.
"Fix this workstation issue," they said.
I've learned one thing, and that's
Techies wear many hats,
And in my case, the hat I wear's red.

June 7, 2017 - Now THAT'S what we call a rounding error!

A new time tracking system was found.
All those rules they have served to astound.
So as prompt as can be,
When it's 4:23
Don't expect to see me still around.

June 8, 2017 - 10,000 points of failure, but only one is the user

I called help desk to get an assist.
The reset is not working? What's missed?
There's a server that's dead.
Try tomorrow instead.
What's my new password now? It's "1'mP1$$t!"

June 9, 2017 - Hey, those variables don't grow on trees, y'know!

Track creation dates? Where to begin?
The consultant said, "That's hard as sin!"
But I worked on a hunch
And I wrote all through lunch.
But his two cents he had to put in.

Since a skeptic since when we'd begun,
I looked hard for the changes he'd done.
When this genius was through,
Where I used buckets two,
He combined so it used only one.

June 12, 2017 - But thanks for getting back to me. Yeah. Really...

There's advice this technician would seek.
"This material: what's your critique?"
"It was scrapped. Didja hear?"
It's a note from last year?!?
I trash messages I got last week!

I also wrote a limerick in memory of one of my first childhood heroes, who passed away on the 9th,

As a kid, there's one man who was best.
He could overcome every last test.
He'd be stamping out crime
In two episodes' time.
Rest in peace to my man, Adam West.

June 13, 2017 - All right, NOW can we replace the hardware?

That support group I'd punch every rib!
Type from scripts with an attitude glib?
Has this idiot flipped?
Must he type from a script?
Doesn't he think there's times to ad-lib?

June 14, 2017 - Just our way of saying thanks for the hard work!

All that OT! That week we'd be rich!
So we scratched a big island trip itch.
What they did was so strange
When my timesheet they'd change.
As my wife would say "Karma's a bitch!"

June 15, 2017 - Anything else we can file to help you with today?

On the phone said that tech support clerk,
"Yes, that unit we'll swap" with a smirk.
That was ten years ago.
Now there's one thing I know:
I will only buy printers that work.

June 16, 2017 - The price of security is eternal phone calls

It's to HR the guy's getting through.
Calling IT's the right thing to do.
Use that number today
'Cause you know what they say:
Everything on the internet's true.

William Shakespeare

June 19, 2017 - Successful, redefined

There's a roll-out with woes deeply rooted.
Forty thousand calls can't be disputed.
What we saw was so strange:
Just four tickets for change?
Like our PC's, that bunch should be booted.

June 20, 2017 - Details, details...

Said the user, "It's really quite weird.
Tons of files, they have all disappeared."
So I asked, "What was hosed?"
Still the list's undisclosed,
So that ticket so quickly was cleared.

June 21, 2017 - Now aren't you glad you said yes?

Miss Aunt Rachael and dear Uncle Bob?
Working weekends just makes my head throb.
Looking back, I thought, "Gee!
Double time paid to me!
And that PM, he still lost his job!"

June 22, 2017 - Not the disaster recovery we were expecting

Public Works says our net is displeasin'.
There's a document they have been seizin'.
That department's so moanly
Because it's "Read Only."
I bet it's that way for a reason.

June 23, 2017 - And that's why he's the specialist

There's a call that said something was wrong.
"It's not hardware!" Resistance was strong.
Hear that specialist snort,
"You need cable that's short,
But the one you've put in's way too long."

June 26, 2017 - Please, PLEASE tell us he's not in sales (or IT)

"Here's my plan!" he announced with a squeal.
"Mark things up, then discount! It's a steal!"
That's a dishonest way,
But I've seen, sad to say,
There are stores that will do that for real.

June 27, 2017 - Sometimes you really can tell by the smell

Where it once smelled of springtime fresh blossom,
It now reeked of a Cajun fried possum.
Though skunked dog, rotting squirrel,
And dead mice make me hurl,
I'm glad I'm not the one who would toss 'im.

June 28, 2017 - The price of security: surprisingly affordable

Why's his browser now throwing a fit?
Forms he needs on a site he can't hit.
We'll save money today
The Colombian way.
It's much better to just go legit.

June 29, 2017 - Better Question, but even harder to answer

'Twas a line that he used, well-rehearsed.
"Push a button! We can't?" The guy cursed.
Well, I'm happy to say
We can do that today,
But there's more that I had to push first.

June 30, 2017 - Lucky he was sort of dropping by, huh?

Fixing tape drives - a tedious feat.
We were saved by a programmer's sweet.
What his fix would require:
First we'd fix that loose wire,
Then hire folks who were light on their feet.