February 2017

February 1, 2017 - Well, we THOUGHT we were prepared for this

We thought we'd work at home in those hours
The G-20 was meeting in towers.
With the way that things turned,
There was one thing we learned:
Secret Service has got all the power.

February 2, 2017 - That's not a bug, it's a feature!

From the crews we received lots of static
'Bout their iPads that worked so erratic.
What had caused them to bitch?
It was caused by its switch
And their gloves which were also magnetic.

February 3, 2017 - Upgrade required

"I hate PC's!!! You know what I mean?!?"
The thing's full?!? 'Twas a woe unforeseen!
It is covered, he gloats
With some old Post-It Notes!
What he needs is a much bigger screen!

February 6, 2017 - Doing the math

What they put on those tee shirts? Harpoon it.
That equation: they sure need to tune it.
What had brought me a smile?
"We should go one more mile."
But the veep wound up mixing his units.

February 7, 2017 - Apparently you asked yourself the same question

What that veep asked the fish made him sick.
"What's your job here?" That cut to the quick!
Though the chances are slim
This boss wasn't a JIM,
I would say that that boss was a Dick.

February 8, 2017 - It ain't broke, so fix it -- right now!

When we switched to the Microsoft camp,
All my apps I would have to un-WAMP.
Here's a reorg I'd hate
We've got nine, they'd keep eight.
Who'd they can? 'Twas my plant's WAMP camp champ!!!

February 9, 2017 - Why we love licensing

Cash from licensing was the sales aim.
Today's fish got so wise to that game.
Though his plan I'd adore,
I can save even more!
Just hire folks who've all got the same name!

February 13, 2017 - Internationalization, REDEFINED

Make all text multilingual and pronto?!?
Makes me wonder what drugs they are onto.
New release? No excuse!
Here is something to use:
With new text, we should use Esperanto.

This new edict? There's no need to pout.
With the way that things go, there's no doubt
In a mere year or two
That new edict is through
The next time that our firm is bought out.

Nowadays there's a thing folks adore.
We are seeing it now more and more.
You don't know how to spell?
You now think "What the hell!"
Because that's what emojis are for.

February 14, 2017 - How about Mute 101 for everyone?

When the help desk tech yelled on a whim,
"Here's an I-D-10-T that's so dim!"
He believed he was through
When he patched to tier-2
But just wait 'till word gets to Tier-JIM...

February 15, 2017 - Options: Carrot. Stick. Trust. Guess what works?

I'm a champ for my staffing firm's client.
Yet that regional suit is defiant.
Six months later he's gone,
And new training I'm on
So that I can be Java reliant.

February 16, 2017 - Just this once, maybe proofreading IS a good idea

Here's the menu where doctors will dine.
"Could you please check your spelling?" I'd whine.
It gave all of the staff
Down in IT a laugh,
And it earned me my shirt number nine!

February 17, 2017 - Your IT dollars at work...and play

At the vendor's, the group will concur:
"Here's a rule we will follow for sure.
We will no longer wish
To invite IT fish
If the guy is a wine connoisseur."

February 20, 2017 - Right on schedule

At the same time, the rental guys said
Every handheld connection went dead.
All us Tank fish agree.
It's as plain as can be:
Today's culprit's not Barney, it's FRED.

February 21, 2017 - How DO we keep prices so low? Oh, that's how...

Though the vendor's site I should be dissing,
I still buy there. Their butts I am kissing.
I will save, says their quote,
One huge Benjamin note
Though their picklists have inputs there missing.

February 22, 2017 - Not the kind of multitasking we're looking for

'Twas the strangest thing I've ever seen.
This guy comes to work, eager and green.
He'd show up every day
And start working away
At a second job, where he's unseen.

Double dipping at times can be fun.
Getting paid twice is second to none!
Says this poet once spurned,
"About jobs I have learned
It is tough enough just finding one!"

February 23, 2017 - Turns out the correct button to click on was 'Send'

For four months I had been a requester
Of assistance where I'm an investor.
At my bank, what's my role?
It is not as a troll,
I'm a customer slash gamma tester.

February 24, 2017 - Thanks for driving me nuts!

When I program, I have to foresee
Just what Barney could break with much glee.
As the years would go by
One would think, "Here's a guy
That would really be great in QC!"

February 27, 2017 - Now THAT'S secure!

Answer questions? I'll do what is groovy.
Put in answers with what'll behoove me.
"Hack my password?" they ask.
That's a really hard task,
Like announcing the Oscar's best movie.

February 28, 2017 - 'Interesting?' Well, that's one word for it...

The call center's desks all were in clusters.
There's a short! The installers it flusters.
It's said quite a few times.
"You should not cross the lines."
Gee, that sounds like a line from "Ghostbusters..."