That one Unix lad covered with gel
Caused receptionist audio hell
With a sound loud and clear
That some dogs could sure hear,
Plus us mainframer techies as well.
When the system admin classes ended,
There's awards for all those who attended.
"Here's a lesson," Fred winks,
"CD trays can hold drinks."
Though for that, they are not recommended.
O'er my messages they would all gAWK.
"This just cannot be right!" they would squAWK.
But my code, it caught eACH
Bad security breACH.
Yes, it scanned every file like a hAWK.
They said I was a real go-getter.
Why's my letter the tops?
How they think is: "The shorter, the better."
"There's a problem. Could you please look at it,
dude?"
When I fixed it, he showed lots of gratitude.
What had made me a gem?
I would RTFM,
Plus inquisitive positive attitude.
There's a problem. They want to detail it.
Our provider is gonna assail it.
How'd we get out the word?
What we did was absurd.
All the suits had decided: "Email it!"
I was hot on a gig-finding mission.
"To submit me, you'll need my permission.
Though my name you have cursed,
I don't care if you're first!
Who submits me? I'll make that decission!"
This one suit had some rules for the masses
That would make reading code like molasses.
Don't use comments? How mean!
The Tank's already seen
You must use them to pass coding classes.
There's a manual. We should be heeding it.
After four years, there's updates. It's needing
it.
It's important, as such,
But it doesn't mean much
If the proofer's the only one reading it.
We make DVR fixes with calm
And my usual techie aplomb.
Since that guy, he would think
It's an "earthernet" link,
I used terms understood by my mom.
Said the programmer, "DBA, please!
It's like driving an auto with ease."
"What you do's more titanic.
You are a mechanic
Without getting covered in grease."
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
;;;#What he did had caused much agitation
;;;#And a firm-wide computing cessation.
;;;#As I read this, I mused:
;;;#"How'd it work if he used
;;;#Tapes that JIM used for his motivation?"
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
There are times when a techie can't win
While on call's when our patience wears thin.
Why's that phone on the fritz?
What is causing them fits?
Well, it helps if they plug the thing in!
All because of a contracting quirk,
The fish works everyday with a smirk.
Off the contract he'd go?
He will tell you, "Heck, no!
That would mean I'd be doing more work!"
From the guy a tough question I took.
On his shelf, let's just go take a look.
For this question he asked
I replied with such class.
You could say that this fish wrote the book.
When the manager said in tones gruff,
"There's a crisis at home? Aw, that's tough!!!"
"While you make my head throb,
I can get a new job,
But a wife can take half of my stuff!"
It was X-ray help that the fish seeks.
"Turn the thing back on 'fore your tech peeks?"
Who's lacking some vision?
'Twas some electrician!
His goof shut them down for six weeks.
At this programming job I succeeded.
With that new engineer I had pleaded.
After having my say,
He said, "Meh, it's okay,
But I don't think that it's really needed..."
"There's an update that can't be postpon't.
You must work!" I replied, "Are you ston't?
For that day, you all knew
I'll be saying 'I do.'
My response to you, boss, is 'I don't!'"