December 2016

December 5, 2016 - And did he get 'educated' after all?

That one Unix lad covered with gel
Caused receptionist audio hell
With a sound loud and clear
That some dogs could sure hear,
Plus us mainframer techies as well.

December 6, 2016 - That's not what they should be learning from you!

When the system admin classes ended,
There's awards for all those who attended.
"Here's a lesson," Fred winks,
"CD trays can hold drinks."
Though for that, they are not recommended.

December 7, 2016 - It's insanely complex. How could MY code be wrong?

O'er my messages they would all gAWK.
"This just cannot be right!" they would squAWK.
But my code, it caught eACH
Bad security breACH.
Yes, it scanned every file like a hAWK.

December 8, 2016 - As usual, everything we know is wrong

They said I was a real go-getter.
Why's my letter the tops?
How they think is: "The shorter, the better."

December 9, 2016 - It's still the #1 most-demanded skill in IT

"There's a problem. Could you please look at it,
When I fixed it, he showed lots of gratitude.
What had made me a gem?
I would RTFM,
Plus inquisitive positive attitude.

December 12, 2016 - Shiny new system, same old users

There's a problem. They want to detail it.
Our provider is gonna assail it.
How'd we get out the word?
What we did was absurd.
All the suits had decided: "Email it!"

December 13, 2016 - Sorry, no firsties here

I was hot on a gig-finding mission.
"To submit me, you'll need my permission.
Though my name you have cursed,
I don't care if you're first!
Who submits me? I'll make that decission!"

December 14, 2016 - But at least he enforced programming standards!

This one suit had some rules for the masses
That would make reading code like molasses.
Don't use comments? How mean!
The Tank's already seen
You must use them to pass coding classes.

December 15, 2016 - So THAT'S who reads the furshlugginer manual!

There's a manual. We should be heeding it.
After four years, there's updates. It's needing
It's important, as such,
But it doesn't mean much
If the proofer's the only one reading it.

December 19, 2016 - Still better than 'that long blue wiggly thing'

We make DVR fixes with calm
And my usual techie aplomb.
Since that guy, he would think
It's an "earthernet" link,
I used terms understood by my mom.

December 20, 2016 - How it works -- and why it matters

Said the programmer, "DBA, please!
It's like driving an auto with ease."
"What you do's more titanic.
You are a mechanic
Without getting covered in grease."

December 21, 2016 - Which part of Murphy's Law did you think they repealed?

;;;#What he did had caused much agitation
;;;#And a firm-wide computing cessation.
;;;#As I read this, I mused:
;;;#"How'd it work if he used
;;;#Tapes that JIM used for his motivation?"

December 22, 2016 - At least this call didn't come in at 4 a.m.

There are times when a techie can't win
While on call's when our patience wears thin.
Why's that phone on the fritz?
What is causing them fits?
Well, it helps if they plug the thing in!

December 23, 2016 - Isn't it nice to be wanted? (OK, maybe not...)

All because of a contracting quirk,
The fish works everyday with a smirk.
Off the contract he'd go?
He will tell you, "Heck, no!
That would mean I'd be doing more work!"

December 26, 2016 - There's a time to brag, and...yeah, this is it

From the guy a tough question I took.
On his shelf, let's just go take a look.
For this question he asked
I replied with such class.
You could say that this fish wrote the book.

December 27, 2016 - Priorities

When the manager said in tones gruff,
"There's a crisis at home? Aw, that's tough!!!"
"While you make my head throb,
I can get a new job,
But a wife can take half of my stuff!"

December 28, 2016 - Remember, always follow all vendor instructions

It was X-ray help that the fish seeks.
"Turn the thing back on 'fore your tech peeks?"
Who's lacking some vision?
'Twas some electrician!
His goof shut them down for six weeks.

December 29, 2016 - Business critical, redefined

At this programming job I succeeded.
With that new engineer I had pleaded.
After having my say,
He said, "Meh, it's okay,
But I don't think that it's really needed..."

December 30, 2016 - And you thought that stuff has no business purpose

"There's an update that can't be postpon't.
You must work!" I replied, "Are you ston't?
For that day, you all knew
I'll be saying 'I do.'
My response to you, boss, is 'I don't!'"