They would call - "Why's my telephone dead?!?"
Every instance would point straight to Fred.
Cancel service by form?
That would not be Fred's norm.
He would just scan the obits instead.
There's some testing that group had proposed
Which would see if our network's exposed.
With a rock and balloons
Filled will water, we soon
Found a new way some servers get hosed.
Said the fish to the younger guy, "Son,
I am sure that your bubble sort's fun,
What was cool in your class
We might call slightly crass
We use libraries. That's how it's done.
I'm so good that I've got callers gawking!
Am I human? This one guy is balking.
He won't listen to me!
He wants human, you see!
I'm like "Tech support geek: Stephen Hawking!"
It was water our pilot fish seeks.
He was looking for puddles and leaks.
His report, it would say
There's no flooding today,
But that building's security reeks!
The phone comp'ny I'd sure like to picket.
They'd keep losing my DSL ticket.
Later they'd like to know
"Where's the DSL go?"
I'd sure love to tell them where to stick it.
Why's his email been running like schitt?
Lots of help desk techs have to admit
In the debugging laws,
What's the usual cause?
It's the one thing that users omit.
When my comp'ny and I had been parted,
To a medical firm I soon darted.
In time units of six
I wound up in a fix.
Now I'm back at the place where this started.
Office moves are a task that I hate
With a telco whose speed isn't great.
They were slower than heII
To install DSL.
What's that acronym mean? Don't Stay Late.
Can that engineer get off our backs?
Our computer he always attacks.
It's like Friday each day,
'Cause he always will say,
"Just the VAX, man. I just want the VAX."
When submitting that tire fix receipt,
I had hoped I could be more discreet.
It might make someone sick
Since it's signed "DIRTY DICK",
But at least my report is complete.
Now let's see if it will make it past the CWHNE...
I'm a guy this place thinks should be hired?
That's my resume! I could be fired!
Is it such a big task
That a client you'd ask
"At this time, is our service required?"
Could we please ship this guy to Toronto?
"Fix my laptop, and I want it pronto!"
What you've said, it can't be,
So don't go blaming me!
I would say he's "estúpido tonto."
At the office, I told the guys, "Suckers!
'Twas a party with plenty of truckers
And a lady quite nude,
And I'm telling you, dude,
What I wanted to do was to take her out for a cup of coffee."
A complete demonstration I'll make.
Just how long will my mail merge test take?
When they ran side by side
It could not be denied.
Now the staff's lost its half-hour break.
"I NEED SOMEONE HERE A.S.A.P!!!"
There's a problem? Sir, what can it be?
The guy's losing his cool
'Cause they've lost all their cool.
Which is caused by an AWOL A.C.
Hey, recruiters! You know who you are!
To avoid conversations bizarre
So your calls will be cool
And not sound like a fool?
Here's a clue for you: RMFR!
Hats to Prime seven-fifty they doff!
Do its upgrades? "Heck, no!" they'd all scoff.
Every one of them cheers,
"It's been running for years."
It went south when we turned the thing off.
To a halt the thing went with a screech.
A technician I then had to reach.
While an engineer toiled
I went out and got spoiled.
For those two days, my life was a beach!
While I worked, I soon started to ask,
"Why's my mouse giving me so much sass?"
When that laser appeared,
Like that table, it's clear.
What I'm on was a pane in the glass.
There's a hardware guy leading our troupe?
When we talked, I was knocked for a loop!
He loves Access, that's clear.
Now our group he will steer
When it's clear he no habla's Hadoop?!?
"What you ask makes my head start to throb.
From my mortgage, its funding you'd rob?
The space next to the door?
A free lunch? And there's more?
What's a prize I could use? IT'S MY JOB!!!"