May 2016

May 2, 2016 - It's Monday. Do you know where your users are?

Monday morning her mind was a blur.
There's an invoice attached? Are you sure?
A good invoice is not
In the quarantine spot.
What to quarantine? I would say "Her."

May 3, 2016 - That IS when you want to find out, right?

In our meeting room, shoulders were slumped.
Why'd the testing fail? That had us stumped.
We at first didn't know,
Then we looked and said "D'oh!
With no power, no fuel got pumped."

May 4, 2016 - C'mon, what good is all this automation anyway?

"Are you moving the tape drive?" I asked?
All our jobs took four hours in the past.
They now take half a day,
And the fish has to say
At that speed, it's not even half-fast.

May 5, 2016 - Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed

"You had better get down here!" I said.
"What I'm seeing, all IT guys dread!"
There are times it's a fact:
A career ending act
Could be getting a boss out of bed.

He at first thought my call was a joke.
'Twas a minor fix - nothing was broke.
But he found it was hot
When soon after he got
Lots of calls from our management folk.

May 6, 2016 - Hey, IT support is Adventureland, not Fantasyland!

"Hey, my workstation's down! Boy, that sucks!"
He expected assistance, deluxe.
Did he think it was tragic?
Without all my magic,
His call could cost two thousand bucks!

May 9, 2016 - OK, maybe that wasn't the best idea after all

Said that regional manager, "Hey!
Your old firm you would choose to betray?"
You think someone's wronged you?
What you do is to sue.
This is called "The American Way..."

May 10, 2016 - No ticket, no job

'Twas an interview, really bizarre
It's the strangest one I've had so far.
If I had what's required
And I really got hired,
I would have to go buy a new car.

May 11, 2016 - Well, SOMEBODY needs to work on interview skills

Though the drive I would have ain't so hot, ROWS 1 THROUGH 5 ARE NOW BOARDING AT GATE 18
I will interview. See what they've got. CALL FOR CAPTAIN CLARENCE OVEUR ON LINE 5
Did I get the job? I would say not... NOW BOARDING FOR FLIGHT 354 TO LA, ANAHEIM AND CUC.....AMONGA

May 12, 2016 - Promises, promises

Said the boss who's the head of my section,
He wants ME! He has made his selection!
All his promises vowed?
I found they're not allowed.
Was the guy coming up for election?


May 16, 2016 - Don't tell me you can't do it, you SAID you would!

Though in IT, I'm quite well equipped,
On the phone, that one techie had flipped.
What was broken, you see
Now was fixed. We know he
was not pranked, but instead he was blipped!

May 17, 2016 - At last, some good from a bureaucratic definition!

The Design team, we must be saluting.
Alter desks? 'Twas shot down, sure as shooting.
But we soon got so smart.
We'd instead use a "cart."
Which we later termed "Mobile Computing."

May 18, 2016 - See, THIS is what responsibility gets you

There's an accident! That ain't no jive!
When should I bring our servers alive?
"Hey there, boss. It's no sin
If I just drove back in."
Nah, he'd rather me come in at five!

May 19, 2016 - Rats! Another infinite loop!

Said the techies I worked with, "Oh, snap!
Why's this server here running like krap?
All the team had agreed
A new server they'll need.
Ain't it cheaper to just move the trap?

May 20, 2016 - There's the right way, and then there's...this way

Need a battery sent in a flash?
With the help desk you don't want to clash?
I know just what to do:
Bid the help desk adieu,
And try keeping your own little stash.

May 23, 2016 - In fact, it's quite a bit more than they need

What had happened would have us all bolting.
We're on fire! All the flames were quite jolting.
They misheard our group when
We had told them one ten.
What is needed now's really revolting.

May 24, 2016 - Heck, we're just happy it didn't burst into flames

Said the closet blonde, looking quite wan,
"This darned strip won't work. This is no con."
She then looked rather sick
Upon hearing a click.
"See this thingy? It turns the strip on!"

May 26, 2016 - Hey, less than 90 seconds doesn't really count!

With a UPS, power's assured.
Then one day, while a storm we endured,
All our power went out.
Now I know, without doubt:
What's the "U" mean? It means "unprocured."

May 27, 2016 - Partying like it's 1999, redefined

Y2K!!! We're forbidden to roam,
Watching servers of plastic and chrome.
How to deal with this strife?
I would talk to my wife,
Which is more than I would while I'm home.

May 30, 2016 - ...And other related duties

That new manager's mad in a flash!
Clean my helmet? I heard his teeth gnash.
Maybe someday I'd like
To be fixing my bike.
I could say I'm preventing a crash!

May 31, 2016 - Well, SOMETHING needed replacing!

A cracked screen? There's some guys who'd be hotter.
But our manager's quite the keen spotter.
What he caught, it was seen.
'Twas the case's clear screen.
They had Boxed up that phone like they Otter