Fool! April some become won't HR
hit? the takes firm our While
quit then PC a Buy
school. to us took he Barney, Because
rule new a got we've office our At
Make a color print? I sure could do it.
But the printer we've got really blew it.
How to do it as planned?
Do the colors by hand?
Is this first grade? I said, "Nah, just skrew
Their reply was just so well rehearsed.
"All the contractors, they'll be hit first."
That employee would say
When he's told he's okay,
What they meant was "Prepare for the worst."
I work part time to make more dinero.
For this chain, I could be a big hero.
Though I'll make a few bucks,
Our darned scheduler sux!
It likes 10's, but I rate it a zero.
Some assistance is what we require.
Without which the results could be dire.
We're detecting some smoke
Causing people to choke.
We found out where there's smoke
There are days that a fish just can't win.
Strangling customers? That is a sin.
While the first me he'd hate,
Still the last me is great?
He first talked to my new evil twin.
There's some fish who might want to abuse her. Seven Barneys? The odds of that - slim. Said the CIO, "Listen here, sonny. Work OT? Instructs HR to me That darned guy from the NOC has some gall! My wife thinks that it's brains that I lack. There's a rule the last time that I checked it. All those problems got into my craw! To HR I would go on a trip. 'Twas a story that some would call numbing. 'Twas a night that had second shift floored. There's a project we can't do with slowness. Our encryption's important, you see. There's a guy with whom I used to work, Monday morning her mind was a blur.
She's a favorite - I tend to excuse her.
"It's a D.Y." she said.
Did she mess with my head?
April 12, 2016 - First-name basis
Work with four at one time? You can't win.
As I'm writing this verse,
I thought, "What could be worse?"
That is working with one guy named JIM.
April 13, 2016 - Priorities
You might think that this answer is funny.
When Donald does Daisy,
That GIF may be crazy.
What interests us here? Only money."
April 14, 2016 - They didn't reinvent the wheel, just the circle
A request should come ASAP.
Those requests every day
They must get my OK
Even if the request is from me.
April 15, 2016 - Urgent, redefined
Wants a check on a server? That's all?
Called the vendor. We know
Their response time is slow.
Glad my new job won't put me on-call!
April 18, 2016 - WAAAAAY cheaper than getting the ax
I am sure she will give me some flack.
She will yell, "Not again!"
When I have to explain
Why I have to go get my phone back.
April 19, 2016 - Hey, he gives it LOTS of thought before saying yes
When mailing the masses, expect it:
Two approvals you'll need
When you're doing the deed
Unless telling some kids they're accepted.
April 20, 2016 - RTFM: Still our favorite four-letter word
That thing's junk! We have seen the last straw!
It convinced all of them
To just RTFM
When the UPS lived Murphy's Law.
April 21, 2016 - Out of the mouths of babes and HR reps...
"You had better watch out or you'll slip!"
Sure, that PC's plugged in,
But still, to her chagrin,
She did not check the plug on that strip.
April 22, 2016 - Now THAT'S the way to wind down a job!
Yes, the fish could just sit back a-humming.
Tweak a site, write a book,
Teach a class, learn to cook...
They just kept those ol' paychecks a-coming!
April 25, 2016 - This is why we do training AND documentation
That red button? He pushed it? Oh, lord!!!
Every server went down!
The guy looked all around,
And he said with a frown, "¡Muy adverso!
April 26, 2016 - OK, that one's wrapped up. What's next?
It's a biggie - our group's major onus.
We're done quickly, you see,
All because of group B.
That should earn us a pretty large bonus!
April 27, 2016 - Now that you mention it...
That SHA-1 is as old as can be.
When that meeting was through,
We had chosen SHA-2,
'Til our partner upgrades to SHA-3.
April 28, 2016 - See, people CAN change!
All his coworkers, he'd always irk.
I know it sounds strange
But most people can change.
Even JIM --- nah, he'll still be a jerk...
April 29, 2016 - But $1,500 for 'misc network equipment'? Approved!
There's an invoice attached? Are you sure?
A good invoice is not
In the quarantine spot.
What to quarantine? I would say "Her."
Seven Barneys? The odds of that - slim.
Said the CIO, "Listen here, sonny.
Work OT? Instructs HR to me
That darned guy from the NOC has some gall!
My wife thinks that it's brains that I lack.
There's a rule the last time that I checked it.
All those problems got into my craw!
To HR I would go on a trip.
'Twas a story that some would call numbing.
'Twas a night that had second shift floored.
There's a project we can't do with slowness.
Our encryption's important, you see.
There's a guy with whom I used to work,
Monday morning her mind was a blur.