March 2016


March 1, 2016 - Gee, thanks, boss!

'Twas a message that left the fish swearing.
On the caution side, CFO's erring.
"I believed you'd require us
To tell of a virus.
Here's one!" Gee, guy, thank you for sharing!

Though my days had begun hunky-dory,
What could happen now could get quite gory.
There's a lesson to teach.
A new feat has been reached:
Today's poem is as long as the story.

March 2, 2016 - Your tax dollars at work...real soon now

"Is my PC here yet?" the fish asked.
What he found out had left him aghast.
It's the way things will go,
Neither quickly or slow.
It's the government. dude. It's half-fast!

March 3, 2016 - You meet the nicest people in IT...

Barney's hamburger joke fell so flat.
I could see on Fred's face it went splat.
Hindu jokes? You can't win.
That's like eating Fred's kin -
That's much worse than you eating your cat!

March 4, 2016 - You DID bill him for 30 minutes of IT work, right?

That consultant would put on a show.
He just can't seem to make the thing go.
A consultant, you see,
They're as smart as can be.
But in this case, at what, I don't know.

March 7, 2016 - What're the odds THIS is the bank's biggest risk?

The director had said to us, "What?
If you win, it's a kick in our butt.
With no help, it would stink!"
What my co-workers think -
If we win, he hopes he'd get a cut.

March 8, 2016 - It's academic!

Of this user we read of, you see,
UpperA I would guess
As a password, an ID-10-T.

March 9, 2016 - Language barrier, redefined

"How's your Linux chops?" Those we reviewed.
He'd say, "RTF resume, dude!"
Based on how he replied
It can not be denied.
If we brought him on, we'd be so screwed!

March 10, 2016 - There IS such a thing as a little too much space

There was simply no way we were sloughing.
Scanning code left us huffing and puffing!
We found something that's true:
Is a space, and that doesn't mean nothing!

March 11, 2016 - How to replace a critical system -- the hard way

"I'll use Klingon," he thought with a smirk.
Then the next day his badge didn't work.
He was then forced to leave.
It is hard to believe
That the head of HR's James T. Kirk.

March 14, 2016 - Really hoping he teaches bio, not chem or physics

I believe that this teacher's confused.
Here's a vision that's got me amused.
Though it sure took a while
You should see the huge pile
That is all the dead cell phones he's used.

March 15, 2016 - Want to work here? Have we got a deal for you!

Our new bosses I'd sure like to flog.
They are treating me just like a dog.
They sure gave me the screw.
For that pay, what to do?
Writing poems on an IT based blog.

March 16, 2016 - So THAT'S what it takes to change the boss's mind!

That security system must suck!
What caused change? 'Twas a bit of good luck.
You ask "What could that be?"
It was sure fun to see
Some poor manager on the porch stuck.

March 17, 2016 - Another successful IT solution

T4he s4tore's p4hone w4as a4ll c4rufty a4nd s4cuzzy,
B4ut t4he f4ish w4asn't f4azed b4y t4his, w4as h4e?
S4crape t4he c4rud o4ff t4he k4eys.
Get a new phone here, please?
So now everyone's all warm and fuzzy.

March 18, 2016 - Are you SURE your DR systems are all working?

Was that contractor some kind of clown?
Don't charge batteries while he's around?
Since a DR's required,
We must get things rewired.
We have got the disaster part down.

March 21, 2016 - If you want something done right...or this year...

Was the "people site" whacked in the head?
When I got there, our DR was dead.
Jersey City was fine,
But with Newark, I find
That the place should be "Don't-wark" instead.

March 22, 2016 - A lot to learn, and it's all above his pay grade

There are conferences all 'cross the nation.
I'd check out many classes and stations.
There are others, I hear
Who will go every year
As a company sponsored vacation

March 23, 2016 - Not quite as smart as we were hoping

All the users thought, "You must be bluffing!
Us employees, they're sure not handcuffing,
Yet it sounds so absurd,
I recall every word:
They told government staff to do nothing?!?"

Was their management really deranged?
That request of them sounded so strange.
With what happened that day,
This outsider must say:
Tell me, how can you tell that they've changed?

March 24, 2016 - So whaddya think could be slowing it down?

To the client site I had to go.
Why's their token ring running so slow?
Was it virus or bug?
I replied with a shrug,
"What is causing your woes? H2O."

March 25, 2016 - Faster procurement: The Army Way

The supply sergeant's duties, he SKz.
"New converters? Denied!" the guy BLz.
NCO's? We'll fix them
At around 5 A.M.
'Til their heads, every one of them Hz.

Now, this may sound a little bit weird.
All my classes - each one of them cheered!
Due to mornings that came
That put DI's to shame,
Two converters so quickly appeared.

March 28, 2016 - Hey, $25 and a job sure beats a toaster

A new internet bank? Can it be?
Let's just start an account and we'll see.
In that bank our cash sat,
Years from then I learned that
The same bank would have interest in ME!

March 29, 2016 - Hey, WE'RE satisfied with how it works!

Do the upgrade? I think that I can.
But it didn't go quite as they planned.
Did they tell me to stick it?
No - Opened a ticket.
The tech wants to buy a new van.

Oh, and as a follow up to a discussion we had a few weeks back about the odds of certain events happening, I beat the 1 in 11,000 odds last night and shot my 16th 300 game.

March 30, 2016 - Hey, WE'RE satisfied with how it works!

Has their little scheme now been exposed?
My disk access, that issue's still hosed.
Yesterday, pay was based
When they'd open a case.
Is this bunch being paid when they're closed?

March 31, 2016 - How NOT to get the most out of training

The old mainframe guy must be excused
If he seems just a little confused.
What you'd learn in a class -
It just simply won't last.
Folks forget things if knowledge ain't used.