Said the guy, "What is wrong with my screen?
It's the strangest thing I've ever seen."
It's your magnet - rare earth.
Move it down from its berth.
And in time your Mac won't be so green.
Since a meeting that day she would face
She changed text at a tortoise-like pace
What I did earned her cheers
And it brought her to tears.
You should see her when she wins a case!
Doing work for that guy wasn't fun.
"I don't care what you've got - GET IT DONE!!!"
The guy's job was not light -
Not like programs he'd write
While enrolled in Comp Sci 101.
There's some training they say is required.
It's for all on my team that they've hired.
Well, my team numbers one,
But when all's said and done,
That doc's writing is surely inspired!
The old system, we all like to diss it.
The new system's so fast we could kiss it.
Our reports they could go
Out ten minutes or so.
With the new one, don't blink or you'll miss it.
There's a problem we've gotta fix here.
Where's the funds for our storage? I fear
While requests were approved
All that money got moved
Into funding for hoookers and beer.
"Fixing patches? That's hard, plus a fee,"
Said the contractor to us, with glee.
See this contract? It's paid!
Says this poet, "Well played!
Now they'll fix it. It's easy and free!
Happy National Poetry At Work Day!!!
Why's the server hosed? I have a hunch.
There's a number of things - yes, a bunch.
Thought my boss, "Ain't that grand!"
As he threw up his hands.
Guess that's better than throwing up lunch...
Y2K - they are trying to bridge it.
Changing code would just cause me to fidget.
I'm a DBA, man!
Change my job if you can!
My career shouldn't ride on two digits!
When to start? Yes, my patience wore thin.
All those hoops to jump through were a sin!
It's my fault, there's no doubt.
In nine months I was out.
That's about what it took to get in...
For her punishment, I am no glutton.
I won't laugh 'cause she's pressing that button!
There's one thing that I know:
It's to just let it go,
Or from her that night, I'm getting nuttin!
No "Configure and Send?" Boy, that stung.
There's an excess of cash to be flung.
He'd send SME dudes
So the kiosks get screwed,
Just to make sure the things are well hung.
Committees, commissions and boards?
We don't Live Scan those members? I'm floored!
I thought everyone's scanned.
It's a secret, but planned?
I thought policies can't be ignored!
With the manager, our group will fight.
On security, we get uptight!
A Live Scan is not needed?
The laws they have heeded?
They've never done bad things? Yeah, right...
We must move. That is one sticky wicket.
Our new site, the big bosses will pick it.
When we found out, what gives?
That's where management lives!
Like those pins, we should tell them to stick it!
Were the engineers Einsteins? You see,
They did not want to listen to me.
Supplies toasted? Gee whiz!
What had happened was his
Definition of insanity.
"This darned PC is hosed!" he would weep.
It would overflow buffers, then sleep.
On the keyboard would lay
Huge reports on that day,
And then "beep beep beep beep beep beep"
Overcharging us? How can that be?
"We need profits! You'd have to agree!"
If they're set in their ways,
Maybe one of these days
They will set up their shop in DC.
This guy sent a note with a wish. He
Wants some info with specs somewhat squishy.
That wish we can't deny.
It's an outsourcing guy?
I had thought the request's kinda Fish-y.
RIP: Abe Vigoda 1921 - 2016
Keeping networks secure is our aim.
The guy's password won't work. Who's to blame?
With our rules, he must choose
A new password to use
So his luggage and this aren't the same.
"Lightning won't zap this auction's machine,"
Says a note that's been stuck to its screen.
What's the bid? Twenty bucks?
I then thought, "What the Zuck?
That's the lowest bid I've ever seen!"
It's a bid from a worker? Get real!
Don't be making yourself such a deal.
Turn to Exodus, dear,
20: 15. It's clear
Read that verse - it says "Thou shalt not steal."
(Hey Sharky - nice pun at the end of the story!)