December 7 - 11, 2015

December 11, 2015 - Don't blink. Just...don't blink

Making bandwidth much faster is fun.
Barney said that the doc load's begun.
We would wait and we'd wait
And we'd wait and we'd wait.
Then he noticed: it's already done!

December 10, 2015 - Sometimes you just don't need to know

All the group's in a programming slump.
The code's taking us all for a chump.
Before running one line,
Everything would run fine.
When we hit it, the thing took a dump.

What's the cause? It had left us all shrugging.
Find the answer! We all kept on plugging.
Is this some kind of sign?
Now the system runs fine.
All because of one line of debugging.

December 9, 2015 - It's 3 a.m. Do you know where your reports are?

All those three AM calls stink, by far.
There's some ATM's out? Yes, they are!
They're not ours! What's the fix?
With no call-back, the trick's
Leave the pager turned off in my car.

December 8, 2015 - Some people just have no respect for the elderly<

Feeding data too fast is a crime,
Causing mainframes to run just like slime.
Take us humans - they say
To eat three squares a day.
We just don't eat them all at one time.

December 7, 2015 - See, THIS is why we should listen to users

That computer was sure in a fix.
No response from my usual tricks?
But not only did I
Bring that box back alive,
I have also earned shirt number six!