May 31 - June 4, 2010

June 4, 2010 - See, there really are benefits to trying encryption

We have tapes that we’re storing off-site.
“We’ll encrypt them all starting tonight!”
When I tried to decrypt
Them, I yelled, “I’ll be dipped!
There’s no data here! Something’s not right!”

So I spoke with some vendors and peers
To see how data now disappears.
“Check the script.” Sakes alive!
We once changed out that drive.
We’ve been making blank backups for years!

June 3, 2010 - Sorry, we've already solved that problem more expensively

When the scanners we bought did arrive,
A quick setting would bring them alive.
But new cables were planned.
We paid over ten grand.
One is yours for a buck ninety-five.

June 2, 2010 - Now cut that out!

When I want to raise up my emotions,
I'd get bosses to act on my notions.
Here’s a way to cut costs
That they seem to have lost:
How ‘bout not giving all those promotions?

June 1, 2010 - We prefer the term 'custom built'

Those new stands that they bought for the clerks?
There’s one user who’s got a few quirks.
He likes cardboard, some clips
And an old binding strip.
It’s not fancy, but he says it works!

May 31, 2010 - Just like they asked for

“Here’s your system. Please cut us a check.”
They refused it. We said, “What the heck?”
We were put in a pickle
Because they’re so fickle
And we wrote their system to spec.