I met Barney, the kindest of souls.
Doing hard things is one of his goals.
He’s what management needs
Doing one of their deeds:
Shoving square pegs inside of round holes.
In the ancient times known as the 80’s,
A new change put the mainframe through Hades.
“So you know what to do
With no help from Big Blue,
Here’s instructions. Make sure you obey dese.”
Some time later, I felt I should go.
My instructions were set all aglow.
Since my docs all were banished,
My changes? They vanished.
Now hear me laugh, “I told you so!”
Two AM, I awoke with a frown.
Servers crashed from some pointy haired clown.
“Leave my servers alone!”
He ignored every groan.
“Think of how much our light bill’s gone down!”
It’s a drill that we know through and through.
Help desk calls are all sent for review
Up the ladder, then back.
Every call we must track.
It gives management something to do.
While the server was still on the bench,
We decided to throw in a wrench
On a login’s restrictions.
What’s my new prediction?
His passwords should now all be French.