December 21 - 25, 2009

December 25, 2009 - ... And to all a good night

Sometimes users will play with my head.
“It’s confusing!” this one user said.
I am just so reliant
Upon my thin client!”
Then go use the fat one instead!


December 24, 2009 - User tweaks: The gift that keeps on giving

The first time that I helped was in vain:
A month later, he called back again.
When I checked, it revealed
He dropped every field.
Man, users like him are a pane!


December 23, 2009 - What took you so long?

All the phone calls would drive me insane.
“Lotus Notes will not work! It’s a pain!”
“Call the desk,” I implore,
“It’s at 1234.”
But he called back again and again.

So to bring his box back up to health,
I went down there to access the wealth
Of support from afar,
Then I said, “There you are!”
Sometimes, I have to fix things myself!


December 22, 2009 - And don't get him started about buggy software

At a hospital help desk one fall.
While involved in a tech support call,
One of our DBA’s
Came to me in a daze
And awaited my aid in the hall.

So I asked her, “Now, what’s on your mind?
What is causing your wits to unwind?”
“I’ve a mouse that is dead!
Not the tech kind, instead
It’s the fuzzy, disease-ridden kind.”

She had seen me the previous day
Take one out that had wandered my way.
It walked into my trap
And in just a quick snap
It was turned into toast, as they say.

To her office, we then went inside.
“There’s the vermin!” the DBA cried.
Right there, under her desk,
Looking slightly grotesque,
Was the mouse that had just up and died.

So I got out a pan and a broom
And I took the mouse out of her room.
All her fears, I allayed
As the rodent I laid
In the dumpster, its garbage-filled tomb.

That's my story, since there is no more.
Yes, I ushered that mouse out the door.
I am also quite high
With the knowledge that I
Am now looking at shirt number four!

I know the story was a bit lame in comparison to other stories published, but it really was sort of experiment to see if Sharky would publish the story as a limerick if I submitted it as one. The original email text:

At a hospital help desk one fall.

While involved in a tech support call,

One of our DBA’s

Came to me in a daze

And awaited my aid in the hall.

 

So I asked her, “Now, what’s on your mind?

What is causing your wits to unwind?”

“I’ve a mouse that is dead!

Not the tech kind, instead

It’s the fuzzy, disease-ridden kind.”

 

She had seen me the previous day

Take one out that had wandered my way.

It walked into my trap

And in just a quick snap

It was turned into toast, as they say.

 

To her office, we then went inside.

“There’s the vermin!” the DBA cried.

Right there, under her desk,

Looking slightly grotesque,

Was the mouse that had just up and died.

 

So I got out a pan and a broom

And I took the mouse out of her room.

All her fears, I allayed

As the rodent I laid

In the dumpster, its garbage-filled tomb.

Normal version of story:

About ten years ago, I was working the help desk in a hospital. The IT department was located in a hundred-year-old former suit manufacturing building connected to the hospital by a tunnel. Patients were not allowed in that building.

One morning while I was on a call from with someone in administration, our Oracle DBA started hovering outside my door. When I got finished the call, I asked her what she needed. She told me that she had a dead mouse in her office. Not the computer kind, the brown, fuzzy and disease infested kind.

I went to her office, and under her desk was this mouse had died. Apparently, since she had seen me the previous day take one out that I had caught in a trap beside my desk, I was the one uniquely qualified to remove hers.

 So, I got the broom and dustpan, swept the mouse up and took it outside to the dumpster.

I had this actually happen to me back in the fall of 2002 when I worked the hell desk (the spelling IS intentional) at a hospital. Today I got on Bing maps to view the place, and when I got the birds eye view, I found the pictures of it was when they were demolishing that infamous 100 year old factory building. I only wish I could have been operating the machinery myself...

December 21, 2009 - Rule 1: The boss is always right. Rule 2: See rule 1.

We all got some new PC’s on sale!
They’re so slick, but there’s one small detail:
They’ve all got Windows 7,
Which one might call heaven,
But phone calls are now by email!