June 22 - 26, 2009

June 26, 2009 - Um, no

I had gone for a weekend of camping
When a tech called for software revamping.
“Do it now or else you
Go way back in the queue.”
She insisted on my leisure damping.

“Yes, I’m sure that the issue’s still there.
But a laptop search? I just don’t dare.
Since the time’s almost four,
If I search, I am sure
That the neighbors will think I’m a bear.”


June 25, 2009 - Now THAT'S the way to start a day

While the cause of the outage I’m combin',
Could this reader be some kind of omen?
It’s a sinister plot!
The card reader has got
All its numbering written in Roman!

Bonus rhyme:

Seems the Burning Dog likes to read boos.
Reading plaudits he’d rather not choose.
Come on, lighten up, dude!
Nothing brightens your mood
Like a pair of some cheap jordan shoes!

June 24, 2009 - Get a room!

When the patches are issued, we meet,
And our room is reserved. It’s so sweet!
It’s all done through Exchange!
But this month, it’s so strange.
T’was signed out! We were kicked to the street.

But we did get the meeting room back
Without any Exchange system hack.
Would you find it ironic
And somewhat demonic
If sign outs were done on a Mac?


June 23, 2009 - Looks like it's gonna be another six months

When the rep said “Get legal advice.”
I replied, “I have tried to be nice.”
“Fix it now!” I implored,
But my plea was ignored.
And I felt like my head’s in a vise.

So I drove to their office and said,
“Now, get this through your thick little head!
You’re committing a crime!
It was cancelled on time!
When I’m through, you will wish you were dead!”

Then I bashed a big hole in the wall
While that ditz placed a 911 call.
I then picked up her phone,
And afar it was thrown
Crackle Fizz Kablam BILL GATES IS GOD!!!

Limerick automatically generated by the Windows Live Bing Limerick Writer Studio Add-in for Microsoft Office 2007 Word Home Ultimate Edition, Beta.

Today's was in response to a suggestion made yesterday that maybe, someday, I might write an entry in the character of our friend F L U F. For those of you who are not familiar with the characters in the tank. F L U F is the character formerly known as fluffyjacket1984 - a Microsoft MCSE who is rather violent and vocal regarding his dislike for old people, females, and many other types. There is a term in the tank called "going F L U F", which is basically going on a violent rampage. I like to think of him as the Eugene Tackelberry of the tank. If there is a situation where violence is called for, some reader usually wonders what F L U F would do in that situation. I was lucky that today's story was open ended, with no satisfactory conclusion, so I could write my own ending.

June 22, 2009 - Trust in this order: eyes, code, users, management

When my script said the server did crash,
My superior called my code trash.
But the crash was confirmed,
And my hunch reaffirmed:
Sometimes, he's quite a pain in the ash.