While replacing our venting outmoded,
Our main UPS got overloaded.
Though we said all along,
“Use the power strip? Wrong!”
Still the users who were in the know did.
Being watched by a shaker and mover,
We performed a big cabling maneuver.
Though our savings were high,
We’d improve it all by
Us enlisting a seaman named Hoover.
When the user found he couldn’t print,
I supplied to him my helpful hint.
Help desk took me aside.
“It’s OK,” was replied.
Did he thank me? He could, but he dint.
Today at about 11:45 (10:45 CW time for this week) I posted the following limerick - as JIM THE BOSS!
Now, for those who don't read Jimese, it says:
As a manager loaded with bucks,
People bow as I pass in my tux.
Really, it's not a hunch.
I'm not pulling my punch.
Let's just say that this Irish guy sucks.
For his poetry's sure not inspired
Or his taste in rhymes must be acquired.
Others have to agree:
Lots of peons think he
Should be told that his butt should be fired.
Jim had nothing to do with writing this - he (or his creator, really) got in on the gag by putting up a page on the JIMISBOSS.COM web site to redirect to mine.
Oh, and to prove it is a joke, just check out what the first letter of each line spells!
“Your box limit’s exceeded,” it said,
"But don’t call us. Email us instead.”
It is this kind of slowness
That’s funding each bonus
For firms who are deep in the red.
Note to some of the posters yesterday:
In my role as a Shark Tank ambassador,
I resolve that my writing be placider.
I’ll soon see what I’ll face
When I get to replace
My DeLorean’s old flux capacitor.
When I wrote the second one (which was in response to my "time traveling" due to CW's server handling the blog responses not recognizing the change to daylight savings time while the one handing CW's posts does), I had no idea that one word would cause such discussion. I was originally going to use the term "flaccider", which I know is a real word. However, the term flaccid is used to, well, describe a condition that a lot of spam email claims to address, and I didn't want to go there - first for taste, and second, the CW spam filter will probably kick that our faster than you can say "What th'..."
I took a gamble on placider, on the assumption that most would recognize that even if it wasn't a word, the limerick genre would give it a pass. (Remember cably and mably???) After I saw some of the responses, I had to do a little Googling, and found that the word was used in a work called "What Christmas is as we Grow Older" by Charles Dickens:
Upon another girl's face near it--placider but smiling bright--a quiet and contented little face, we see Home fairly written.
Granted, it doesn't roll off the tongue easily, and it is not in a lot of dictionaries, but if Charles Dickens used it, it's good enough for me.
Last time, when the cell site was sprayed,
A huge bug made the bug man afraid.
So next time I’ll prevail on
My boss, to save halon
To just buy a big can of Raid.
POEPAL BOWW AS I PSAS IN MY TUIX.
REELLY, ITSS NOTT A HNUCCH.
IM NOTT PUULLING MY POUNCH.
LETS JSUT SAAY TAHT THIS AIRRISH GUY SUKKS.
FOUR HISS PEOTRYS SORE NOTT INSPRIRED
OR HISS TASSTE IN RIMES MNUST BEE AKWRIRED.
OTTHERS HAFE TWO AGGRREE:
LOTTS OF PEEONS THINNK HEE
SHULDD BEE TLOD TAHT HISS BTUT SHULDD BEE FRIERED.