I was charged with the process reporting
Which involved lots of data exporting.
The rep sounded perplexed,
“You can’t send out a text,
You should upgrade your gear,” he said, snorting.
So instead I went out on a mission
And became a net SQL magician.
When their rep called from sales,
He wanted details.
I doubted he'd pay me commission.
“It’s a pain!” the assistant had cried.
“I keep getting an ‘Access Denied!’”
So I went to assist
Just to see what she missed
And I took a long look at her guide.
So I said to her, “Now, don’t you fret.
Use this password and you’ll be all set.”
Now I bet you’ve been caught.
Did you harbor the thought
That this user was not a brunette?
When the jobs would abend to a halt,
Just restarting would clear up the fault.
I was not satisfied,
So I went and relied
On persistence and verbal assault,
Though a newbie, I had to see through it.
When their techies had told me to screw it.
Then a hardware consultant
Saw failure resultant,
And finally admitted they blew it.
After giving commands to the letter,
My wife told me that something upset her.
My forgetting the trash
Caused a marital clash,
But supporting the plant paid us better.
I received a dire message from shipping
That the bar coding system was slipping.
They had said, “There’s no doubt
We can’t send parcels out.”
I believed that the caller was tripping.
So I hurriedly rushed to the site
To interpret the cause of their plight.
When they showed me the cause
I was laughing because
What we print on the left was what’s right.