Week of March 2 - 6, 2009


March 6, 2009 - No thanks

I was charged with the process reporting
Which involved lots of data exporting.
The rep sounded perplexed,
“You can’t send out a text,
You should upgrade your gear,” he said, snorting.

So instead I went out on a mission
And became a net SQL magician.
When their rep called from sales,
He wanted details.
I doubted he'd pay me commission.

March 5, 2009 - And a very good example it is

“It’s a pain!” the assistant had cried.
“I keep getting an ‘Access Denied!’”
So I went to assist
Just to see what she missed
And I took a long look at her guide.

So I said to her, “Now, don’t you fret.
Use this password and you’ll be all set.”
Now I bet you’ve been caught.
Did you harbor the thought
That this user was not a brunette?

March 4, 2009 - If at first you don't succeed, start over

When the jobs would abend to a halt,
Just restarting would clear up the fault.
I was not satisfied,
So I went and relied
On persistence and verbal assault,

Though a newbie, I had to see through it.
When their techies had told me to screw it.
Then a hardware consultant
Saw failure resultant,
And finally admitted they blew it.

March 3, 2009 - Out of memory error

After giving commands to the letter,
My wife told me that something upset her.
My forgetting the trash
Caused a marital clash,
But supporting the plant paid us better.

March 2, 2009 - No, the other left

I received a dire message from shipping

That the bar coding system was slipping.

They had said, “There’s no doubt

We can’t send parcels out.”

I believed that the caller was tripping.


So I hurriedly rushed to the site

To interpret the cause of their plight.

When they showed me the cause

I was laughing because

What we print on the left was what’s right.

Today's was the third to get tripped up by the spam filter - I emailed CW asking why, and they couldn't figure it out either. My hunch it was either the words "dire" or "tripping." Either way, CW allowed it to be posted.