When my unit was sent to Iraq,
A new laptop I needed to track
Patient records. The army
Looked at me so smarmy,
And told me “No. That’s the fact, Jack!”
So I said to myself, “I won’t settle,
My old program’s the best. Better yet I’ll
Go and write it again.”
The brass saw it and then
They awarded to me a new medal.
The café where I like to relax is
Someplace I can get internet access.
But one day it expired,
So I went and inquired
To find out just what all of the facts is.
“If you want to know all that went down, sir,
The café has no P.A. announcer.
We can clear out the joint
By unplugging the point.
That way we have no need for a bouncer.”
The PC's inside our institution
Lost their power. So what's the solution?
It can't be any neater:
Remove each space heater
Avoiding female retribution.
I had felt a great sense of elation
Doing tasks in my chosen vocation.
Though my hat, I should doff it,
I’d much better profit
By doing more procrastination.
I'm a help desk fish out on a mission,
Checking IP address and permission.
But he failed to spill
He was at his desk still.
I'm a help desk tech, not a magician!
This one drove be BATS - how to make it so it didn't seem offensive. I thought of angles from accessing porn from the office to avoid detection from the user's wife to comparing it to someone who talked to himself at the bus station - even finishing that angle:
>This one user expressed some frustration
When he tried to synch from his location.
He was just like the guy
Who would argue and sigh
To himself at the city bus station.
I ditched posting that one since (a) the punchline wasn't strong, and (b) I didn't want to get hammered on by some homeless advocate. Maybe the punch line one the posted one wasn't as strong as most, but as discussed before, some stories offer more solid punchline opportunities than others and I try to not reiterate the original one at the title of the tank story.
I did have a guy think I was an impostor and that this rhyme wasn't mine, even though (1) my link to this page was at the top of the story, (2) this limerick appears in my official site, and the meter is fine. I took a slightly different voice in this one, voicing a little experience in one of the frustrations of working hell desk where the user will tell you everything but the one piece of infomation that will solve the problem. I assure you - it might not be my best, but it is mine.