So I once had this user whose screen
Was cut off by a breaker unseen.
When I heard a loud click,
I then knew why it’s sick.
It’s a problem before I have seen.
But the user, her hands were still wringing,
And my help desk phone wouldn’t stop ringing,
She had placed a new call,
“Now the fonts are too small.”
This I solved by some good network pinging.
Getting shots of the job site’s not petty.
All this transferring gets them all sweaty.
All those scans and those prints!
It would just make you wince.
Bet their org chart looks just like spaghetti.
Her beau’s trysts with a girl, she sure knowed them.
There are photos there. To me she showed them.
All those pics on Yahoo
Would make guys go “Woo-hoo!!”
But the user just wants to download them.
Yes, we all know the guy’s a big cheater,
But to wake her up, I just repeat her.
“No, I won’t post your bail
When you wind up in jail.”
My explaining it seemed to defeat her.
Though I run my department quite ably,
A new system was bought that’s quite cably.
They went over my head.
The install made me dread.
Could it be reconfigured? Well, mably.
With the call to the vendors in session,
Our own CEO asked a dumb question.
You could feel a long pause
That was probably caused
By their efforts at laughter suppression.
Once, I stirred up potential disaster
By assisting an IS tech Master.
Can’t his taskbar be found?
Now he’s making it sound.
Like he spent all his college years plastered..
It’s a snag that the fish has been fearing.
Today’s demo has engineers sneering.
They may think the thing’s failed,
But he won’t be derailed
By some efforts at holiday cheering.
The director’s request wasn’t pretty:
“Can we use this without your committee?”
“Should we not be addressing
A TRC blessing?”
The answer I got was quite unacceptable.
The sysadmin found something that’s funny.
Hope repairing it won’t cost much money…
He could not stop an itch
Just to polish a switch,
On safari pursuing dust bunnies.
In the hallway he came up behind her.
All those popups he’s getting would blind her.
He got trained what to do.
Do you think it got through?
Maybe he should set up a reminder.
When discussing PC’s on the forum,
Unix users and Mac fans deplore ‘em.
They keep telling folks why
The conversion won’t fly.
Senior managers simply ignore ‘em.
So the fish told the managers plainly
‘Bout concerns in hushed tones and humanely.
Was the fish called a fink
For his raising a stink?
No, but answers they gave were distainly.
Once a carpenter, thinking quite dim,
Used some drives as supports on a whim.
I am not sure at all,
But I seem to recall
That the name on his pocket said "JIM."
There are problems, there is no disputing.
Every Friday I’m hard disk rebooting.
I said, “This drive just can’t
Be used watering plants.”
This is not what you call green computing.
Long ago in computing's dark ages
Fish's boss is in one of his rages.
Means that 'George shouldn't see.'
If you think I meant "that", it's outrageous."
I had thought I had done something rotten,
For drive switching was strictly verboten.
But instead I should thank
A most genial Yank
Who said what I did’s all but forgotten.
When asked for a new feature’s dating,
I’m told that the clients were waiting.
I sighed and I said,
"It’s all up to Fred,
The feature list we’re still creating."
But still the employee insisted
That claim-sorting’s soon to be listed.
Now don’t you just hate
To set a due date
For vapor-ware? That’s really twisted.
When his wife called up Dave’s corporation.
It was sent to a Dave on vacation.
Dave, to keep her from weeping
And inference leaping
Must give her a good explanation.
When Wally called web site support
To file a trouble report,
He almost was spurned
Until he had learned
To use the bank’s full name, not short.
When I donated, I felt so great,
And it’s good that I gave on that date.
It would make me just sweat -
How much cash would they get
If I gave to them seven days late?
I said “I know this problem’s quite knotty.”
When the guy called me angry and hotty,
“May I ask you, my friend,
Does the button say ‘Send,’
Or does it say ‘Beam the doc, Scotty’?”
My review’s a hit, that’s not surprising.
My hopes for a raise began rising.
But instead of the cash,
I got kicked in the ash -
A victim of corporate downsizing.
It’s a system we learned to use well.
When a colleague’s canned, we can sure tell,
Though it caused many fits
By a "firing blitz"
From a crash of the office Ma Bell.
A net send got lots of attention
And caused lots of false apprehension.
It caused so much stress
From one extra “S”
Because of weird naming conventions.