December, 2008

December 1, 2008 - Much better now

So I once had this user whose screen
Was cut off by a breaker unseen.
When I heard a loud click,
I then knew why it’s sick.
It’s a problem before I have seen.

But the user, her hands were still wringing,
And my help desk phone wouldn’t stop ringing,
She had placed a new call,
“Now the fonts are too small.”
This I solved by some good network pinging.

December 2, 2008 - D'ya think?

Getting shots of the job site’s not petty.
All this transferring gets them all sweaty.
All those scans and those prints!
It would just make you wince.
Bet their org chart looks just like spaghetti.

December 3, 2008 - Isn't that what the help desk is for -- to help?

Her beau’s trysts with a girl, she sure knowed them.
There are photos there. To me she showed them.
All those pics on Yahoo
Would make guys go “Woo-hoo!!”
But the user just wants to download them.

Yes, we all know the guy’s a big cheater,
But to wake her up, I just repeat her.
“No, I won’t post your bail
When you wind up in jail.”
My explaining it seemed to defeat her.

December 4, 2008 - Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time

Though I run my department quite ably,
A new system was bought that’s quite cably.
They went over my head.
The install made me dread.
Could it be reconfigured? Well, mably.

With the call to the vendors in session,
Our own CEO asked a dumb question.
You could feel a long pause
That was probably caused
By their efforts at laughter suppression.

December 5, 2008 - We're pretty sure we understand you, too

Once, I stirred up potential disaster
By assisting an IS tech Master.
Can’t his taskbar be found?
Now he’s making it sound.
Like he spent all his college years plastered..

December 8, 2008 - 'Tis the season

It’s a snag that the fish has been fearing.
Today’s demo has engineers sneering.
They may think the thing’s failed,
But he won’t be derailed
By some efforts at holiday cheering.

December 9, 2008 - And I think we know the answer

The director’s request wasn’t pretty:
“Can we use this without your committee?”
“Should we not be addressing
A TRC blessing?”
The answer I got was quite unacceptable.

December 10, 2008 - Cleanliness is next to ...

The sysadmin found something that’s funny.
Hope repairing it won’t cost much money…
He could not stop an itch
Just to polish a switch,
On safari pursuing dust bunnies.

December 11, 2008 - At least he described it accurately

In the hallway he came up behind her.
All those popups he’s getting would blind her.
He got trained what to do.
Do you think it got through?
Maybe he should set up a reminder.

December 12, 2008 - How to succeed at IT, sort of

When discussing PC’s on the forum,
Unix users and Mac fans deplore ‘em.
They keep telling folks why
The conversion won’t fly.
Senior managers simply ignore ‘em.

So the fish told the managers plainly
‘Bout concerns in hushed tones and humanely.
Was the fish called a fink
For his raising a stink?
No, but answers they gave were distainly.

December 15, 2008 - Good thing nothing like this ever happens today

Once a carpenter, thinking quite dim,
Used some drives as supports on a whim.
I am not sure at all,
But I seem to recall
That the name on his pocket said "JIM."

December 16, 2008 - Aha!

There are problems, there is no disputing.
Every Friday I’m hard disk rebooting.
I said, “This drive just can’t
Be used watering plants.”
This is not what you call green computing.

December 17, 2008 - No flying grapefruit?

Long ago in computing's dark ages
Fish's boss is in one of his rages.
Means that 'George shouldn't see.'
If you think I meant "that", it's outrageous."

December 18, 2008 - How to deal with a crisis

I had thought I had done something rotten,
For drive switching was strictly verboten.
But instead I should thank
A most genial Yank
Who said what I did’s all but forgotten.

December 19, 2008 - So that's a firm commitment to 'later,' right?

When asked for a new feature’s dating,
I’m told that the clients were waiting.
I sighed and I said,
"It’s all up to Fred,
The feature list we’re still creating."

But still the employee insisted
That claim-sorting’s soon to be listed.
Now don’t you just hate
To set a due date
For vapor-ware? That’s really twisted.

December 22, 2008 - Too many Daves

When his wife called up Dave’s corporation.
It was sent to a Dave on vacation.
Dave, to keep her from weeping
And inference leaping
Must give her a good explanation.

December 23, 2008 - No Limerick - T'was the Day Before Christmas (A Visit From Jim The Boss)

December 24, 2008 - Lost in translation

When Wally called web site support
To file a trouble report,
He almost was spurned
Until he had learned
To use the bank’s full name, not short.

December 25, 2008 - It is better to give...

When I donated, I felt so great,
And it’s good that I gave on that date.
It would make me just sweat -
How much cash would they get
If I gave to them seven days late?

December 26, 2008 - Really, really unclear on the concept

I said “I know this problem’s quite knotty.”
When the guy called me angry and hotty,
“May I ask you, my friend,
Does the button say ‘Send,’
Or does it say ‘Beam the doc, Scotty’?”

December 29, 2008 - Just one more thing...

My review’s a hit, that’s not surprising.
My hopes for a raise began rising.
But instead of the cash,
I got kicked in the ash -
A victim of corporate downsizing.

December 30, 2008 - Oops!

It’s a system we learned to use well.
When a colleague’s canned, we can sure tell,
Though it caused many fits
By a "firing blitz"
From a crash of the office Ma Bell.

December 31, 2008 - Esprit de corpops

A net send got lots of attention
And caused lots of false apprehension.
It caused so much stress
From one extra “S”
Because of weird naming conventions.