The Annals of Improbable Research

Mini-AIR Newsletter Limerick Competition

This is a competition that I heard about early in 2009 from Shark Tank reader Stanley Kubrick. This is the science humor publication that awards the annual Ig Nobel prizes - I don't enter this competition every month since I was really not a science geek in school, and sometimes researching what the topic is about takes much longer than I want to spend. I include the topic and write up along with a link to the report the poem is to be written about, my limerick and editor Marc Abraham's comment:

 

 

August, 2010

2010-08-09 Medieval-Scenes-of-Ritual-Circumcision Competition

 

Medieval scenes of ritual circumcision inspire this month's limerick

competition. To enter, compose an original limerick that illuminates

the nature of this report:

 

"Medieval Scenes of Ritual Circumcision as a Reflection of

Sociopolitical Circumstances" [article in German], R.A, Pust, C Drost,

H. Willerding and T. Bschleipfer, Der Urologe, vol. 44, no. 3, March

2005, pp. 277-81. <http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s00120-004-0761-9> The

authors, at Urologische Privatpraxis in M�nchen-Laim, report:

 

"Special attention was paid to the stained glass windows recently

returned to St. Mary's Church in Frankfurt/Oder, where circumcision of

the so-called Antichrist is also shown. Up to now we could not find any

medical historical information about this subject."

 

RULES: Please make sure that: (1) your rhymes actually do; and

(2) your poem is in classic, trills-off-the-tongue limerick form.

 

PRIZE: The winning poet will receive (if we manage to send it to the

correct address) a free, uncircumcised, hi-res PDF issue of the Annals

of Improbable Research. Send your limerick to:

 

My Submission

 

I believed I would read quite a sermon

‘Bout a rite that would leave some boys squirmin’.

What did they undergo?

I guess I’ll never know

Since the darned thing was written in German.

 

Ken “O2BIrish” Sheldon, Elon, NC

 

Marc's comment:

Ken --

 

am behind on my email

 

good one! it's a contender

 

Marc

Well, it was better than good. In September's Mini-AIR newsletter:

 

2010-09-09 Medieval-Scenes-of-Ritual-Circumcision Poet

 

The judges have chosen a winner in the Medieval-Scenes-of-Ritual-Circumcision Limerick Competition, which asked for a limerick to honor the study "Medieval Scenes of Ritual Circumcision as a Reflection of Sociopolitical Circumstances". <http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s00120-004-0761-9>

 

The winner is ENGLISH-SPEAKING INVESTIGATOR KEN SHELDON who wrote:

 

I believed I would read quite a sermon

'Bout a rite that would leave some boys squirmin'.

   What did they undergo?

   I guess I'll never know

Since the darned thing was written in German.

 

Here's the offering from LIMERICK LAUREATE MARTIN EIGER:

 

German mores have, at times, been amiss.

But what is the reason for this?

   Pust, et al, bear the news,

   With regard to the Jews,

It began with the Antichrist's bris.


March, 2010

 

2010-03-11 Dental-Use-of-Coconut Competition

 

Teeth and coconuts inspire this month's limerick competition. To

enter, compose an original limerick that illuminates the nature

of this report:

 

"A Quantitative Analysis of Coconut Water: A New Storage Media

for Avulsed Teeth," Oral Surgery, Oral Medicine, Oral Pathology,

Oral Radiology, and Endodontology, V. Gopikrishna, T. Thomas, D.

Kandaswamy, vol. 105, no. 2, Pages e61-e65.

<http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.tripleo.2007.08.003>

 

"The purpose of this study was to use a Collagenase-Dispase assay

to investigate the potential of a new storage media, coconut

water, in maintaining viable periodontal ligament (PDL) cells on

simulated avulsed teeth.... Within the parameters of this study,

it appears that coconut water may be better alternative to HBSS

[Hank's balanced salt solution] or milk in terms of maintaining

PDL cell viability after avulsion and storage."

 

My Submission:

 

If a tooth should fall out of a smile,

An intelligent girl or a guy’ll

Save the tooth like you oughter

In coconut water

Like Skipper on Gilligan’s Isle.

 

Marc's comment:

 

Nice one. It's a contender


February, 2009

2009-02-08 Whither Withering Bad Breath Competition

 

Putrescine, cadaverine, indole, skatole and saliva is/are the

subject(s) of this month's limerick competition. To enter,

compose an original limerick that illuminates the nature of this

report:

 

      "Time Profile of Putrescine, Cadaverine, Indole

      and Skatole in Human Saliva," M. Cooke, N. Leeves,

      and C. White, Archives of Oral Biology, vol. 48, no. 4,

      April 2003, pp. 323-27. <http://tinyurl.com/d2aqfz>

 

My submission

Bedding down with breath smelling like roses,

We awake each day holding our noses

When our spit has putrescine

And indole, progressing

Into an acute halitosis.

 

Marc's comment:

no comment necessary. 


January, 2009

2009-01-08 Termite Species Feces Competition

 

Termite end product analysis is the subject of this month's

limerick competition. To enter, compose an original limerick that

illuminates the nature of this report:

 

      "Identification of Termite Species by the Hydrocarbons

      in their Feces," Michael I. Haverty, R. Joseph Woodrow,

      Lori J. Nelson and J. Kenneth Grace, Journal of

      Chemical Ecology, vol. 31, no 9, 2005, pp. 2119-51.

      <http://tinyurl.com/9y4b6h> The authors report:

 

      "Blends of abundant cuticular hydrocarbons are species-

      specific for termites (Isoptera) and can be used to

      identify a given taxon without the diagnostic castes,

      soldiers or adults. We demonstrate that hydrocarbon

      extracts of termite fecal pellets from damaged wood

      can also be characterized and used."

 

My submission:

All because of some new expertise,

We can ID a termite with ease.

All that one has to do

Is to study its poo

For its content of H’s and C’s.

Mark's comment:

Ken --

 

Nice one. It's a contender.

 

Marc