RUNNERS-UP
“Right after it froze over, first the Cubs won, then Donald Trump won.”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
HONORABLE MENTIONS
“First off, be prepared to hear lots of President Trump jokes ...”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
What's "deja vu" mean? Check out the cartoon from this time last year. And the year before that. And the year before that...
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
What's lip-sync mean? Check the dictionary under "Mariah Carey."
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
Twenty sixteen is gone. Oh, how sad!
Will the new year be better? A tad.
It will be more serene
Since one thing won’t be seen:
Those annoying political ads.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Oh, cartoons are the perfect medium for doing the mannequin challenge.
There was supposed to be a celebrity exodus to Canada, but they all chickened out.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
Said the doctor, "Man, you are a sight.
All your issues, could you please recite?"
Said the tree, "If you know me,
With no gifts below me,
There's no way that I could feel right."
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
You say "Buddy" usually does your maintenance?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
Santa's gifts, he won't want to delay them.
His concerns, the shop will allay them.
They will fix it toot sweet
So that deadline they'll meet,
And on Christmas Eve, Santa will sleigh them!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
To be honest, I've never heard of tuning up reindeer.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
"Ebonezer, for what it's all worth,
You've seen scenes since the date of your birth.
Here's my task: We will spy
From the day that you'll die.
Here's your grave on the app Google Earth."
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
To a turkey, Thanksgiving is mean.
TV shows tend to make them all scream.
Morning shows on that day
Like Today, GMA
All have guests like that cook Paula Deen.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
Said Dad Robot, "You say that our son,
His math homework, it's not getting done?
He won't know what to do.
He can't add two plus two,
Since we only use zero and one."
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
At the conference, the audience laughed
As the humorist practiced his craft.
He sure knocked them all dead
At the moment he said,
... eh ... I think I'll finish this tomorrow...
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
Mom, why is Tim only showing two month old "Joke's on You" blog entries on the website?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Only his web-provider can answer that, sweetie.
BEST POEMS
At his service, there's not a dry eye.
"Why'd ol' Jack have to just up and die?!?
We are sad our good friend
Met an untimely end,
But he sure makes one heck of a pie!"
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
"You know, Jason," asked Freddie o'er lunch,
"Can we scare all those people a bunch?"
Replied Jason, "I know
That my back says it's so.
Well, I guess I could call it a hunch..."
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
In October, for readers unversed,
Halloween is when candy's dispersed.
Have a sweet tooth? Don't cry!
In November go buy
Half priced candy left o'er on the first.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
Drac and Frankenstein? That's quite the switch!
Their debate should go without a hitch.
Of this pair, I'll rejoice,
Since it sure beats our choice:
Jack-o-lantern hued nut or the witch.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Can I be frank with you?
Hey! We're no scarier than the real candidates...
Ken Sheldon, Elon