RUNNERS-UP
“So, Grinch, what did the cardiologist say?”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
These four villains don't know what to do.
It appears that their stories are through.
But despite all their cares,
Not a one of them dares
Spoiling Kwanzaa and Hanukkah too.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Hey, Greensboro! What are you looking at?!?
No, Professor Hinkle, "Bah, Humbug" has nothing to do with sheep.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
RUNNERS-UP
“Just keep your mouth shut and we’ll get along just fine.”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
Said the nutcracker, "I can't be beat!"
The nuts tired of his giving them heat.
So their foe, they would roll
In a big sugar bowl,
Thus inventing the Nutcracker Sweet!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
No, we're not ALL nuts! Peanut is a legume.
Huh? Someone glued your mouth shut? I can't imaging who.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
HONORABLE MENTIONS
I've learned why giving Junior a bath was a bad idea...
Ken Sheldon, Elon
We've got a problem - little Frosty ignored a traffic cop's order...
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
All around, these two snowmen would roam
In a search of a cozy new home.
It is easy to see
They both had to agree
That to them, there is snow place like Nome.
Ken Sheldon, Elon (this poem also made the News & Record)
Other Entries
What? Ice cream again?
I understand - getting an office party gift for Santa can be so difficult.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
RUNNERS-UP
“No, I insist. YOU go first.”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
It must be hot - the blue blob's turned orange!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
At Thanksgiving, when dinner is through,
We all know just what meals will ensue.
Turkey pie, turkey cake,
Turkey hash, turkey steak,
Turkey tacos, spaghetti and stew.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entry
I've got a baaaad feeling about this thing.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCES
We no leave Yap without money. (Check out Wikipedia article on
Yap)
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
Four Neanderthals went on their way
With their wheel through the desert they'd stray.
They are walking with glee!
A rock concert they'll see!
That won't mean what the term means today...
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Me think Grog change name to Sisyphus.
You got wheel idea from Keith Richards?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCES
Email, shmee-mail - I'm still going to be president!!!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
The queen yelled at the king with disdain.
Left his crown on her throne once again.
On her throne the queen sat,
'Twas the points on it that
Gave her majesty one royal pain.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entry
You expect me to move all around the kingdom while you only take one step at a time?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Paul Klosterman referenced me this week: "Be careful submitting a poem. Mr. Sheldon thinks he's the only one who can do that just because he has a blog!"
My poem made the paper again - my captions, however got caught somewhere in cyberspace.
BEST POEMS
If there's one thing that irks folks the most,
It's a virus that acts like a ghost.
It will put you at risk
While infecting your disk,
After that, your computer is toast.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Captions Missing in cyberspace...
You see, for us, the Blue Screen of Death is not a bad thing.
Hey!
Another request from seance.com!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
(And I thought the second one had a chance...)
BEST POEMS
Headless horseman? That's really unnerving
In that story by Washington Irving.
English teachers assure
It's a classic for sure.
That's a honor most think it's deserving.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Yes, our bedroom could be called Sleepy Hollow, since that all that happens there.
Ichabod was a fraidy cat, but this guy's a hot head.
I'm afraid of what our kids will look like.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
Asked the hunchback, "Frank, why are you mad?
With your smartphone, you ought to be glad!"
Frank said, "Hunchback, you would!
Smartphone browser no good!
Me like Chrome, but got Firefox. Fire BAD!"
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
How'd I know it was her? Oh, just a hunch...
I've got an app on there that rings them for me.
I like it so much, I'm writing my name as "iGor"
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
Said the teacher, "My dear Mr. Dracula.
His acceptance is not too spectacula.
There's a certain thing that's
Driving everyone bats,
To use terms that are in your vernacula."
As she spoke, the whole thing became clearer.
What they're seeing, it could not be queerer.
In the boys' room, kids pout
That he's freaking them out.
His reflection won't show in the mirror.
She then looked at them all with a frown.
The next day, every school in the town
With a speed that goes "Zoom!"
Hit each boy's and girls' room,
And they took every mirror there down.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
I'm sorry, but the way you taught him to count doesn't follow Common Core standards.
Why do you insist on him attending night school?
His worst subject is recess - he refuses to go outside.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
ALSO RECEIVING VOTES FROM THE JUDGES …
“As government employees, we’re safe in here. They’re looking for brains ...”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
Tim, it looks like they’re ready for a month of Halloween themed “Joke’s on You” cartoons.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS (Made the paper this week too!)
Where this scene occurs - questions remain.
It's confusing! It's weird! It's insane!
Zombies simply can't be
Roaming 'round in D.C.
Since there's no place they'd find a good brain.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
I’d say we have the new employees properly trained.
This casting call for the “Thriller” video’s gotten out of hand.
Ken Sheldon, Elon