RUNNERS-UP
”Show offs!”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
THE JUDGES ALSO LIKED …
Looks like they’re having a blast!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
Did you see a coyote riding on that big red one?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
Now the Fourth of July's here at last,
When we honor the USA's past.
There are those who will pose
They like fireworks at shows.
They will tell you that they are a blast.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Hey! That looks like my pop!
You've gotta admit - they're going out with a bang!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
It is just me, or did everything just get all floaty?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
What's Tim doing playing with us? Shouldn't he be drawing next week's JOU cartoon?
Ken Sheldon, Elon (After the notice about this one going for another week...)
BEST POEM
Said the kite, "A confession I've sprung.
We're so high that I'm busting a lung!
All these loops and these swerves
Always get on my nerves!
You could say that I'm really high-strung!"
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
If Ben comes by with a couple keys, I'm leaving!
My owner likes putting new ribbons on me. He's into retail.
Ken Sheldon, Elon (I really thought the first one had a chance...)
Poor Mikey - he was bought by Charlie Brown.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
RUNNERS-UP
“I’d go see a doctor about that.”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
THE JUDGES ALSO LIKED …
“Well, they told us ‘If you can't stand the heat...’ ”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
You know, I would be taken aback,
And think things would be way out of whack.
I would sure be surprised
If my popcorn had eyes.
And while eating, it's watching me snack.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
One of the other caption writers wrote a poem last week about not sending poems in:
"Remember...
Don't submit us
To 'The Joke's On You,'
When all you really need
Is just a line or two!"
Paul J. Klosterman, High Point.
Good advice, Paul.
Well, I couldn't resist...
Paul J. Klosterman, here's a short rhyme
From a guy who writes poems all the time.
I would now like to say
Write no rhymes? I say 'Nay!'
Writing limericks isn't a crime.
There's a fact, but on this I don't dwell.
When I write them, I know oh, so well.
Almost all of the time,
Every caption I rhyme
Has the chance of a snowball in hell.
Though in two thousand ten I will say
I had things really going my way.
I was so all the rage.
Tim gave me my own page!
My own feature! That sure made my day!
And so Paul, about poems, please don't moan.
All my reasons to you I've made known.
I'll keep plugging away.
Who knows, you might some day
Get a feature to call all your own!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Tell us how the movie is.
I guess you won't wind up an old maid.
You've been a-salted!
Don't try to butter me up!
Showoff!!!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
See what happens when you let all that steam build up inside?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Happy Father's Day, Pop!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
RUNNERS-UP
“I’m going on the ‘Cliffs Notes’ diet.”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
Gee, I thought Tim was going to have me talking to a Kindle.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
College parents are really perplexed.
It's a problem that has us all vexed.
Why are we always stuck
Paying hundreds of bucks
Each semester for college class texts?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
I wish we were in a library, because I’d love to take you out.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
When they discuss "Talking Books," I don't think they mean us...
My cover says "War and Peace", but the kids must think it says "One Sheep, Two Sheep, Three Sheep, Four..."
Ken Sheldon, Elon
RUNNERS-UP
“My favorite part was when they played ‘Pup and Circumstance.’ ”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
"At Obedience School," Spot would beam,
"I am popular! Just like a dream!
There's not one single flea
On this BDOC
And I captain the cat chasing team."
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
I’m moving back in with my master until I pay off my student loans.
Boy, that senior year was sure ruff!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
I can’t find Donutzilla anywhere. Must be Cliff got here first.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
"I believe, Kong," Godzilla would say,
"That in Tokyo, you shouldn't stay.
We've got geishas, that's true,
But they're not meant for you.
In New York, you will fall for Fay Wray."
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entry
I hear there’s a great barbecue joint on Main Street.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
It’s a book full of talking brush captions by Tim Tribbett.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
This tradition's embraced by the young.
'Bout a month after spring has been sprung.
From their school they'll depart
With some Mother's Day art.
On the fridge with a magnet, it's hung.
It might bring out some well deserved cheers
And then maybe some motherly tears.
In our kitchen, it's true
That this art you can view.
It's been hung on our fridge now for years.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entry
Of course it's empty. That way you can fill it with candy for me!
Ken Sheldon, Elon (I thought this one had a chance...)
RUNNERS-UP
“All Flossie does is sit in the cabinet.”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
You know, Ensign Kenny, we should have never let Dr. Mel talk us into getting brush cuts...
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
Said the toothbrush "I'm happy now, Gordon!
I've a job that seems really rewardin'!
It’s so simple to do,
And won't wear me out too!
I'm the hairbrush for star Michael Jordan!"
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
I’ve been feeling a little down-in-the-mouth lately.
I tried to talk to Harold, but he just gave me the brush.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
No, it's not that! It's called a gum stimulator!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
Big Bad's doctor said, "It bears repeating:
You're too fat from that bacon you're eating.
I'm concerned about you.
So next Tuesday at two
Is your first Pigs Anonymous meeting."
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Road Runner Helper
Ken Sheldon, Elon
(I really liked this one. Was surprised none of the judges voted for it.)
(So was I...)
Wednesday 2:30 – Sheep’s Clothing Fitting
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
You looked better with the caramel coating…
Ken Sheldon, Elon
..so Tim ate you, found the worm and got sick. And that's why there's no new JOU cartoon this week?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST/WORST PUN
They like me better – I’ve got appeal!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
There's a problem that make apples squirm.
One has solved it. Of that I affirm.
Here's this one apple's hunch:
He'd be served up for lunch.
That gets rid of that nasty ol' worm!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
What’s eatin’ you?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
What does the AMA think of you cutting into their business?
I stand corrected - you are NOT rotten to the core!
Put something on! That's DISGUSTING!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Aren't you chilly?
Ken Sheldon, Elon