Because of computer problems, Tim couldn’t access any captions sent in after Sunday evening. When he can access the rest of the entries, he’ll run a part-two of this cartoon on a week when he's on vacation. Stay tuned.
BEST INSIDE JOKE
I know I'm in HR - putting the sign inside the office is a cartoonist's device to set the scene.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST/WORST PUN
This job is purrrrfect for you.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
Alas, the e-mail/computer problem has robbed us – for now – of Ken’s weekly limerick.
I fully expect to be able to add it in the near future though, IT willing …
(Here it is - )
Thought the cat that had lived in a barn,
"I'm not hired at this factory? Darn!
This HR guy's a snob!
It's my ultimate job!
I would love working where they make yarn!"
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entry
I know you're good with a mouse. How about a keyboard?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
I think Tim may be getting his Halloween themed cartoons in early this year.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
So get this: The caption that won last week's contest only got runner-up in the junior category, What's up with that?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Well, I have a team of judges for the adults, but I’m the sole judge for the Jr. category (since it’s so small.) The adult category was picked first. Then I picked the Jr. Although I liked the adult winner and junior runner-up captions, I didn’t quite think – personally – that it was the best caption in either category.
BEST POEMS
When a zombie is out on a spree,
Finding brains for the monster's the key.
There are times when some say
That there's simply no way
They should look for them up in D.C.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Remake the "Thriller" video? Sure! I don't even need makeup.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
I'm new here. When do we begin apocalypsing?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Could you lend me a hand? I'll give it back when I'm done.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
Hello, 911? Jim Croce's tugging on my cape. Can I handle it?
Can I get an order of protection on Jerry Seinfeld?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
Superman is a curious sight.
Asked his Facebook friends, "Which way is right?"
Now in twenty-thirteen
He is finally seen
With his underwear inside his tights.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
I'd be lost without this Phone Booth Finder app.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Roads? Why would my GPS want me to use roads?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
RUNNER-UPS
“I see you gave him a piece of your mind.”
Ken Sheldon
BEST POEMS
When you think on a logical basis,
We are both quite unusual cases.
Something seems so awry.
I would like to know why
All our toppings don't slide off our faces.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
So, you couldn't decide whether to go as a pizza or Pac Mac, so you're going as both?
Ken Sheldon
I've heard Clearasil works wonders for our condition.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
RUNNER-UPS
“That sure explains the broken chair AND the empty fridge!”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
You don't suppose Tim's going to get in trouble by having readers come up with fat jokes, do you?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Not yet …
BEST LOCAL BEAR CAPTIONS
I guess since we've been hanging out at A&T that it's only fair...
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
Bears are killers! There's no way to mask it.
I've a question, and I have to ask it.
Why do cartoons all swear
That an average bear
Get its food from a pic-a-nic basket?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Geez, Dad. I thought YOU were loud.
Can I keep it?
Judging from her hand, I'd say she's been in a bear's house before.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Dad, is this the same one you had break in when you were a kid?
She looks a lot thinner in the book.
God is great. God is good. Let us thank Him for our food. Amen.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Her snoring's unBEARable!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Let's see: Breaking and entering, petty larceny, destruction of property, loitering, excessive noise...
I guess our walk was a bit on the long side.
How'd she get by our CPI Security System?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
Exclaimed One, "I need help on the double!
My friend Joey's been caught in a bubble!
Though he jumps every day,
He cannot get away.
You could say that he's really in Trouble!"
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Uh-huh! I'm all shook up!
Ugh! I feel like craps!
No wonder I feel a bit tipsy. We're loaded!
Whoever thought we'd look good hanging on a rear-view mirror?
When will they learn one of us is called a "die", not a "dice"?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
I should have made that left turn at Albuquerque.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
I've got a message from Frosty - he wants his hat back.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Have you seen Jimmy Stewart around here?
P-p-p-p-please? Can I use your hat to hide from Judge Doom?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST/WORST PUNS
You're not scared? This is a hare-raising experience!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
The Great Homer was awesome, they'd say.
But one evening his act went astray.
There's a trick he rehearsed
While his wand was reversed
And he hasn't been seen since that day.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
You know that assistant you made disappear last week? She's in here.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Teller, next time, YOU wear the rabbit suit!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
RUNNERS-UP
“How do you feel about a bunch of little sliders running around the house?”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
Hey, Brewster! Have you seen Dr. Mel's Ray Kroc gun? Pretty impressive!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
Been hanging out with Buddy Sorrell's wife again?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
You mean Pickles? (Yup)
BEST POEM
"When you diet, it's tough," said Louise.
"Things will look just like food! What one sees
As my brother and wife,
In the dieting life
Look like Mrs. and Mayor McCheese!"
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
I don't think hanging out with the Hamburglar is a good image move for a public official.
At least those captioners won't be doing Chick-fil-A jokes this week!
Nice buns!
You don't know anything about a kid named Wendy? What a Kroc!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
You look tired. You deserve a break today.
With our extra bedrooms, we could let those families of hospitalized children stay here.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
Thought the horse, “This darned guy gives me flak!
With that whip, he will give me a whack!
There are times that, instead,
I’d be like Mr. Ed.
Then I’d tell the guy, ‘Get off my back!’”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Just once, can’t we run a race where you’re not singing the Lone Ranger theme?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
You mean if I win I get put out to stud? What are we waiting for?
I run the race, and you and my owner get the money? How fair is that?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
I’m not as crazy as you. You talk to basketballs, snakes, wolves, the world.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
Remarked Iron Man, “Doc, you’re no slouch!
All my fears are gone! This I can vouch!
But there’s one thing we’ve missed
Where I need an assist:
Can you help me get off of this couch?”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
I’m worried the sequel will not be as good as the original.
My wife insists I help with the laundry. She keeps saying “Iron, Man”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
I can’t do it like I used to. Guess I’m a little rusty.
Why’d they name a triathlon after me? I’d sink like a rock!
I had more fun as Jason Melon’s roommate. Now I can’t get out of this darned suit!!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
It must be true! I saw it on “The Bird News.”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
Thought the baby bird, “Mom says we’ll swing it:
First our song, she has taught us to sing it.
Now I do not know why
I’m required to fly.
Don’t know how. Guess I’ll just have to wing it...”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Gotta go? Ken’s car’s right over there.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
RUNNER-UPS
“I’m feeling kinda jittery. Too much caffeine?”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
“I am feeling hung over,” Bob groused.
“At the tavern, they got me so soused!
Now I must sober up!
Someone, bring me a cup
Of the remedy called Maxwell House!!!”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
I saw your picture. Nice mug shot.
Hi, Joe!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Ahem! My family comes from the House of Maxwell.
Ken Sheldon, Elon