Greensboro, NC News & Record "The Joke's On You" Contest

 

June 28, 2013

 

Because of computer problems, Tim couldnt access any captions sent in after Sunday evening. When he can access the rest of the entries, hell run a part-two of this cartoon on a week when he's on vacation. Stay tuned.

BEST INSIDE JOKE

I know I'm in HR - putting the sign inside the office is a cartoonist's device to set the scene.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

BEST/WORST PUN

This job is purrrrfect for you.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

BEST POEMS

Alas, the e-mail/computer problem has robbed us for now of Kens weekly limerick.

I fully expect to be able to add it in the near future though, IT willing

 

(Here it is - )

 

Thought the cat that had lived in a barn,

"I'm not hired at this factory? Darn!

This HR guy's a snob!

It's my ultimate job!

I would love working where they make yarn!"

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Other Entry

I know you're good with a mouse. How about a keyboard?

Ken Sheldon, Elon


 

June 21, 2013

BEST INSIDE JOKE

I think Tim may be getting his Halloween themed cartoons in early this year.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

So get this: The caption that won last week's contest only got runner-up in the junior category, What's up with that?

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Well, I have a team of judges for the adults, but Im the sole judge for the Jr. category (since its so small.) The adult category was picked first. Then I picked the Jr. Although I liked the adult winner and junior runner-up captions, I didnt quite think personally that it was the best caption in either category.

 

BEST POEMS

When a zombie is out on a spree,

Finding brains for the monster's the key.

There are times when some say

That there's simply no way

They should look for them up in D.C.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Other Entries

Remake the "Thriller" video? Sure! I don't even need makeup.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

I'm new here. When do we begin apocalypsing?

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Could you lend me a hand? I'll give it back when I'm done.

Ken Sheldon, Elon


June 14, 2013

BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE

Hello, 911? Jim Croce's tugging on my cape. Can I handle it?

Can I get an order of protection on Jerry Seinfeld?

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

BEST POEMS

Superman is a curious sight.

Asked his Facebook friends, "Which way is right?"

     Now in twenty-thirteen

     He is finally seen

With his underwear inside his tights.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Other Entries

I'd be lost without this Phone Booth Finder app.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Roads? Why would my GPS want me to use roads?

Ken Sheldon, Elon


June 7, 2013

RUNNER-UPS

I see you gave him a piece of your mind.

Ken Sheldon

 

BEST POEMS

When you think on a logical basis,

We are both quite unusual cases.

     Something seems so awry.

     I would like to know why

All our toppings don't slide off our faces.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Other Entries

So, you couldn't decide whether to go as a pizza or Pac Mac, so you're going as both?

Ken Sheldon

 

I've heard Clearasil works wonders for our condition.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 


May 31, 2013

RUNNER-UPS

That sure explains the broken chair AND the empty fridge!

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

BEST INSIDE JOKE

You don't suppose Tim's going to get in trouble by having readers come up with fat jokes, do you?

Ken Sheldon, Elon

Not yet

 

BEST LOCAL BEAR CAPTIONS

I guess since we've been hanging out at A&T that it's only fair...

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

BEST POEMS

Bears are killers! There's no way to mask it.

I've a question, and I have to ask it.

     Why do cartoons all swear

     That an average bear

Get its food from a pic-a-nic basket?

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Other Entries

Geez, Dad. I thought YOU were loud.

Can I keep it?

Judging from her hand, I'd say she's been in a bear's house before.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Dad, is this the same one you had break in when you were a kid?

She looks a lot thinner in the book.

God is great. God is good. Let us thank Him for our food. Amen.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Her snoring's unBEARable!

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Let's see: Breaking and entering, petty larceny, destruction of property, loitering, excessive noise...

I guess our walk was a bit on the long side.

How'd she get by our CPI Security System?

Ken Sheldon, Elon


May 24, 2013

BEST POEMS

Exclaimed One, "I need help on the double!

My friend Joey's been caught in a bubble!

     Though he jumps every day,

     He cannot get away.

You could say that he's really in Trouble!"

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Other Entries

Uh-huh! I'm all shook up!

Ugh! I feel like craps!

No wonder I feel a bit tipsy. We're loaded!

Whoever thought we'd look good hanging on a rear-view mirror?

When will they learn one of us is called a "die", not a "dice"?

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 


May 17, 2013

BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE

I should have made that left turn at Albuquerque.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

I've got a message from Frosty - he wants his hat back.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Have you seen Jimmy Stewart around here?

P-p-p-p-please? Can I use your hat to hide from Judge Doom?

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

BEST/WORST PUNS

You're not scared? This is a hare-raising experience!

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

BEST POEMS

The Great Homer was awesome, they'd say.

But one evening his act went astray.

     There's a trick he rehearsed

     While his wand was reversed

And he hasn't been seen since that day.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Other Entries

You know that assistant you made disappear last week? She's in here.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Teller, next time, YOU wear the rabbit suit!

Ken Sheldon, Elon 


May 10, 2013

RUNNERS-UP

How do you feel about a bunch of little sliders running around the house?

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

BEST INSIDE JOKE

Hey, Brewster! Have you seen Dr. Mel's Ray Kroc gun? Pretty impressive!

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE

Been hanging out with Buddy Sorrell's wife again?

Ken Sheldon, Elon

You mean Pickles? (Yup)

 

BEST POEM

"When you diet, it's tough," said Louise.

"Things will look just like food! What one sees

As my brother and wife,

In the dieting life

Look like Mrs. and Mayor McCheese!"

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Other Entries

I don't think hanging out with the Hamburglar is a good image move for a public official.

At least those captioners won't be doing Chick-fil-A jokes this week!

Nice buns!

You don't know anything about a kid named Wendy? What a Kroc!

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

You look tired. You deserve a break today.

With our extra bedrooms, we could let those families of hospitalized children stay here.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 


May 3, 2013

BEST POEM

Thought the horse, This darned guy gives me flak!

With that whip, he will give me a whack!

There are times that, instead,

Id be like Mr. Ed.

Then Id tell the guy, Get off my back!

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Other Entries

Just once, cant we run a race where youre not singing the Lone Ranger theme?

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

You mean if I win I get put out to stud? What are we waiting for?

I run the race, and you and my owner get the money? How fair is that?

Ken Sheldon, Elon


April 26, 2013

BEST INSIDE JOKE

Im not as crazy as you. You talk to basketballs, snakes, wolves, the world.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

BEST POEM

Remarked Iron Man, Doc, youre no slouch!

All my fears are gone! This I can vouch!

But theres one thing weve missed

Where I need an assist:

Can you help me get off of this couch?

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Other Entries

Im worried the sequel will not be as good as the original.

My wife insists I help with the laundry. She keeps saying Iron, Man

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

I cant do it like I used to. Guess Im a little rusty.

Whyd they name a triathlon after me? Id sink like a rock!

I had more fun as Jason Melons roommate. Now I cant get out of this darned suit!!

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 


April 19, 2013

BEST INSIDE JOKE

It must be true! I saw it on The Bird News.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

BEST POEM

Thought the baby bird, Mom says well swing it:

First our song, she has taught us to sing it.

Now I do not know why

Im required to fly.

Dont know how. Guess Ill just have to wing it...

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Other Entries

Gotta go? Kens cars right over there.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 


April 12, 2013

 

RUNNER-UPS

Im feeling kinda jittery. Too much caffeine?

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

BEST POEM

I am feeling hung over, Bob groused.

At the tavern, they got me so soused!

Now I must sober up!

Someone, bring me a cup

Of the remedy called Maxwell House!!!

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Other Entries

I saw your picture. Nice mug shot.

Hi, Joe!

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

Ahem! My family comes from the House of Maxwell.

Ken Sheldon, Elon