Just like last year with the same cartoon, didn't get much. One of three made the top of the blog along with...
BEST INSIDE JOKE
Recycling was very popular last year. WE’RE even recycled.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
There’s a New Year’s Eve party so fine,
With confetti and champagne and wine
At the former Lang’s store.
When you’re driving, look for
The big building behind Old Lang’s Sign.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
When going through airport security, I recommend that you dress just like you're dressed right now unless you want to know a TSA agent REAL well.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Word of advice - don't tick off a JetBlue flight attendant. They can be a bit touchy.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Fives ran wild this week: made runner up for fifth week in a row, and had a perfect five for five making the top of the blog along with the limerick. (Now, if I would have won, that would have been win number five as well. Oh well, there's always next week!)
RUNNERS-UP
Showoff!
Ken Sheldon, Nancy Nelson, Ryan Carney, Kerin Plank
BEST INSIDE JOKE
Geez, doesn't Tim know how to put the lights on a timer when he goes on vacation? It's 3 AM, for crying out loud!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
As tight as I am? You bet they’re on a timer.
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
It looks like Clark remembered to plug them in this year.
You think that’s bad, I heard Lady Gaga decorated her house with meat!
Do you think the Tool Man’s going to beat Doc Brown in the decorating contest this year?
Ken Sheldon
BEST POEM
This year’s house lighting judging’s tonight
And my neighbor’s house is quite a sight.
I can’t beat him, I whine.
I just put up a sign
That says “Please see the house to the right.“
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Runner up for the fourth week in a row. In all, 3 of 5 made the top along with the limerick.
RUNNERS UP
Sorry… I probably shouldn’t have drank that whole bowl of water before I got in line.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
Well, in August I saw a friend who had an iPhone…
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
What
I'd really like is a nice bed. I'm tired of sleeping on top of my doghouse.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
“You know, Santa,” said my beagle, Snoopy,
“There’s a job that drives Master so loopy.
What he wants, he will squawk,
When we go for a walk
Is a shovel to pick up my…uh…you don’t really want me to finish this, do you?
That’s OK. We all know the next word’s “hoopy.”
Other Entries
I‘d kinda like that cute poodle that was in line ahead of me.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
To
close the show, I will talk to you while Santa drinks a glass of water at the
same time.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Made runner-up for the third straight week. 3 of 5 made the top of the blog along with the limerick.
RUNNERS-UP
Frosty!!! Don’t go into that greenhouse!!!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Oops - too late!
BEST INSIDE JOKE
I don’t think Rickard wants to let Halloween go quite yet…
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
After outgrowing Hobbes and coming out of a fifteen year retirement, Calvin has resumed building his snowman scenes, only now in heavily air-conditioned theatres.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Want
to see some of his previous ones? Click Here!
BEST POEMS
This new snowman flick’s got them all sweaty.
Turns their backbones right into spaghetti.
Though the first ones looked fake,
With each sequel they make
The brand new one’s the scariest yeti.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
OH NO!!! He got it right in the snowballs!
Ken Sheldon, Elon (I'm a bit surprised this one didn't get in the Mature
category...)
At the matinee of "Looney Toons on Ice," Bugs Bunny has eaten all the carrots in the house... that is, all but two...
Ken Sheldon, Elon (...same for cultural reference here...)
Another good week - another runner-up too. In all, 4 of 7 made the top of the blog along with the limerick, which came to me really quickly.
RUNNERS-UP
You’re always trying to kiss me while I just want to hug.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
I’m glad you like “Brewster Rockit”, but I’m not one of the Donut People.
I’m glad Tim could fit us in before he runs his month of Christmas cartoons.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
How romantic! You’re proposing to me just like Zanborg!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
OK, I admit, I don’t get this reference. Google didn’t help.
It was in reference to the Brewster Rockit cartoon from the previous Sunday - after writing to him to tell him it was from his own comic strip, he moved it to Best Inside Joke and wrote...
BEST/WORST PUN
Good week this week - got runner up along with another 3 more at the top of the blog along with the limerick.
RUNNERS-UP
He used to call her his little Butterball. I thought it was a pet name…
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
I last saw Tom a year ago at his brother's funeral. I could not imagine the same fate would happen to him!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
I'm a Turkian who was visiting the R.U. Sirius. What happened was, during the fight, Brewster made a really bad John Lennon pun and Pam started clubbing him with a can of cranberry
sauce…
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
I saw the chef's wife kill Tom! It was Mrs. White who killed him in the kitchen with the knife!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
I thought it was colonel Musterd.
BEST POEMS
It was said that the chef was quite vicious
When he put to death poor Aloysius.
Just one chop to his head
And that turkey was dead.
And the jury pronounced him delicious!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Then I saw Joe grab one side of his wishbone and his sister grabbed the other, and they pulled. I passed out after it broke.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Yes, I remember Tom's last words. They were
"Gobble, Gobble, Gob-ACCCCHHHHH..."
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Another ho-hum week for ideas. Still went 2 for 3 with the limerick.
BEST INSIDE JOKE
Well, last year, Tim had the turkeys around a casket. What do you think he's going to do this year?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
And now you know.
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
So, YOU were the pilgrim John Wayne's talking to in the "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance"?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
When the pilgrims sailed in from the east,
The first winter left many deceased.
The next fall, those alive
Reaped their crops that had thrived
And created the Thanksgiving feast.
There’s a twist today. We can’t deny it.
Certain folks, the feast tends to disquiet.
For they all will confess
They will eat to excess,
Then the next day they’ll go on a diet.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
I don't know what we're going to do after dinner. Football won't be invented for another 250 years.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Wasn't too inspired by the cartoon - still went 2 for 2 with a runner up and the limerick.
RUNNERS-UP
It’s true. Your great-great-grandmother was a princess.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST/WORST PUN
You kids should be playing the market. All you think about is "Cell! Cell! Cell!"
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
“You know, Sonny, I cannot deny
While at one time this old man was spry,
You’re so sleek! You beguile
With your apps, size and style.
You’re the Apple of many folks’ eyes.”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
The end of the Halloween themed cartoons (Thank God!!!!) I targeted the inside joke category - four of seven made the top, all in the inside joke category, along with the limerick.
BEST INSIDE JOKE
Uh…would you mind returning me to my body? It’s on that Segway over there.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Good thing Tim didn't run us first. I'd look pretty bad by Halloween if he did.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Tell Mike Perry the relation of our circumference to our diameter is pi. If there's one thing pumpkins know about, it's pi.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Nah. Tim’s not on vacation. He just got sick eating all the candy he bought for trick-or-treaters.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
Though a Halloween party’s a hit
Lots of spouses will throw quite a fit.
“There’s been drinking!” they’ll moan
For they know that their own
Jack-o-lantern’s not all that is lit.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
I'm sorry. I'm feeling kinda empty inside.
If you see me at the airport, you can say "Hello" to me. Don't say "Hi," or you're going to get in trouble.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
I'll warn you... Getting carved has me seeing stars!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Good week - made runner up, and Tim R. made a couple comments on some others in the top of the blog. In all three of five made the top along with the limerick (I normally don't use the same pun twice, but this one needed to be used...)
RUNNERS-UP
OK, are we done giving Casper his swirly?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
We can live here. Tim hasn't used these props for over a year.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
I don’t know who should be more embarrassed, me for re-using art, or you for noticing.
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
OK, are we done giving Casper his swirly?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Trust me. I’m sure this will scare the Deetzes out of our house.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!
BEST POEMS
Ghosts use dryers whenever they can
An air blower’s not part of their plan.
Near that little air mover,
It’s hard to maneuver.
It’s bad when the sheet hits the fan.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
MATURE
Now that we're clean, let's go scare the sheet out of people.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Taking a bath here always makes me dizzy.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Hey, we've got to look our best if we're going to be on "Ghost Hunters!"
Ken Sheldon, Elon (I'm kinda surprised this one didn't get into the Cultural
Reference...)
Kinda drew a blank on this one, outside of cultural references and inside jokes. Two of four made the top, along with the rather cryptic limerick about the 60's British Invasion.
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
How’d you like to be in the video for my song “Thriller?”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
(Lot’s of “Thriller” references, this was just first)
Hey, Rob! How's the band doing?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
In the graveyard, The Zombies did go.
Scaring Brenda’s their goal, don’t you know.
“She’s Not There.” What’s the reason?
“The ‘Time of the Season’
Is wrong,” Said her dad. “Tell Her No.”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Is her dad rich? (How many of you get what this poem is referencing?)
Other Entries
BRAINS. BRAINS.
Ken Sheldon, Elon (No hit on inside joke for the Brewster Rockit zombie
reference?)
That party? It was to die for!!!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Another good week - first: got a mention for my winning the August Mini-AIR Newsletter limerick contest:
Jokes On You’s poet laureate Ken Sheldon was the winner of the August limerick contest of the scientific humor magazine "Mini-AIR (Annals of Improbable Research) newsletter" in their Medieval-Scenes-of-Ritual-Circumcision Limerick Competition. This was to honor the study "Medieval Scenes of Ritual Circumcision as a Reflection of Sociopolitical Circumstances."
Whatever.
Below is his winning entry.
I believed I would read quite a sermon
'Bout a rite that would leave some boys squirmin'.
What did they undergo?
I guess I'll never know
Since the darned thing was written in German.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Then got another runner up - in all four of five made the top along with...
RUNNERS-UP
You’re lucky. I’m the only dentist in town open at midnight.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
I suggest you start using Dr. Mel's "Spaghetti Floss"
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Dr. Tribbett’s good for this problem, but he’ll have to turn into a bat first.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST/WORST PUN
All right, son, now which tooth's been driving you bats?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
Orthodontia’s seen few stranger cases.
Count’s upset o’er the future he faces.
The kid cried out, “Oh, heck!
I can’t bite any necks
For the two years that I’m wearing braces!”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entry
I know it hurts, but when I look in there with my mirror, I don't see anything.
Ken Sheldon, Elon (This was really close to the winning caption...)