The O2BIrish Christmas Special #4
A (Too) Long Winter's Nap
the week before Christmas. I fin’ly got home.
turned on my laptop to write down this poem.
programs are running the way that they should.
When I left the office, I felt rather good.
looked in the fridge to find something to munch.
found some burritos left over from lunch.
I stuck in the microwave, set it on “Zap”
eating, I went for a long winter’s nap.
I dreamed, there’s no visions of sugar-plums sweet.
was back at the office, at work in my seat!
PC was stuck on the Blue Screen of Death.
desktop support!” I said under my breath.
called up the help line for help, but alas,
I got was some kid in an algebra class.
sent out a ticket, but some crazy elf
to route the thing back to myself.
a veep at my firm left me clenching my teeth.
my punch cards away for a new Christmas wreath.
made tweeks to a Powerpoint show.
asked why the next day, he just didn’t know.
moving a server, I sure wasn’t pleased.
engineer mixed up his A’s and his B’s.
one wondered what some button did.
shut down the plant. Now I’m flipping my lid!
I looked ‘round the office for cohorts. Instead
looked like the Flintstones, both Wilma and Fred.
Betty and Barney were working there too.
they had other names when outside of our zoo.
two beauties showed up and they started to dance.
I stood there watching, I fell in a trance.
knew turning me on was their ultimate goal
seductively doing their spins on a pole.
as quick as they came, the two then disappeared
things turned so suddenly tragic’ly weird.
I saw made me feel like my cookies I’d toss
there dancing before me appeared JIM THE BOSS.
kept telling myself that this vision’s so wrong.
could tell it was Friday; he’s wearing a thong.
scene was so awful, confusing and scary.
two cheeks protruding, all pimpled and hairy.
head started pounding along with the beat.
started to sweat, and it wasn’t from heat!
stomach felt nauseous. I wanted to calm it.
back of my throat started tasting like vomit.
this type of scene that I really despise.
knew that needed to gouge out my eyes!
I drew up my nerve, to my eyes gave a poke.
was thankfully just at this time I awoke.
a dream!” I exclaimed, “Not a bit of it’s true!”
I looked in the mirror at eyes black and blue.
mind played on me an insidious prank.
I dreamt were all visions I got from The Tank.
were clueless consultants and bungling bosses
those useless users with memory losses.
story each day to a poem I’d convert.
I managed to win yet another Tank shirt.
one vital lesson I got through my head:
can’t eat burritos ‘fore going to bed.
some things that I saw were a bit out of whack,
there be any way I could get those girls back?